In the last 3 years I found out I had ADD and made changes in routines, my job, diet, and so on. Friday I felt like everything just came crashing down. The job I have I feel works great with my ADD and my work environment perfect for not getting bored. I keep my ADD private, it sometimes has a label. I don't want someone to feel I can't do a job because of having ADD.

I met up with my boss while traveling. Unfortunately I was also dealing with a cold. When I am sick I don't take my medication for ADD. When I came back to the office, the only person who knows I have ADD basically put me in a panic. My boss became worried because when we had gone out during the trip he had told another manager "he was talking in 6 different directions". The feeling was I am in charge of such an important group and the face of the company in a lot situations. To have someone speaking so strangely started getting my boss to wonder if I might not be able to handle the job (the same one I have been doing for 3 years with going beyond expectations).

With the urging of the coworker who knows I have ADD I went to my boss. I explained to my boss my ADD and being off medication. He said that's fine and that "you have the medication for a reason". This was ok to hear, but he never said "oh I had noticed something, etc."

So I feel like in a very short amount of time I lost my boss's confidence. I also feel down because I have never felt like I had to be on medication. That on it or off it I was still able to be myself. The idea that my ADD is this obvious hurts. I know how I can have issues with work concentration with out medication but, I never thought it effected my social skills.

Now at work, I catch myself not saying much or even on medication carefully trying to make sure I don't seem to be "talking in 6 different directions". Paranoia sets in with the feeling of people not being direct with you even if you are making a mistake. So all I can do is keep doing what I did before and try to go beyond expectations.

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