Quote:

Some of the effects I don't suffer from - I don't do any drugs, rarely drink, and never had any financial problems. However, some things I do have which have hurt my relationship - I act defensively, over commit myself, made her lose confidence in me that I will follow through what I say, too many broken promises, high levels of frustration, and lost my temper.

I know there's a huge potential of an amazing future for us, but I just don't know how to regain her trust again. Prove to her that I am what she thought and can become better.

Hi Roman,

The situation as you describe it is for sure not an easy one! But it seems to me that your fiancé was urging you into professional help mainly for your ADHD-symptoms. Unfortunately she asked you to leave the house too, and I wonder if you two are still in contact? If so, to repair the relationship or more important, the trust between both of you, requires effort from BOTH of you. You said she was very supportive, but that your way to deal with the ADHD was damaging the relationship. Partly that is true, but what non-ADHDers don't realize is that they as well need to learn about ADHD to be able to handle the specific behavior that comes to it. It will be very frustrating when only one person is doing all the work, and the other doesn't change his/her view or understanding.

Assuming the desire to continue with the relationship is present, you need to be very steady in not breaking your promises towards her, but you also have to keep those realistic. Don't promise her big things, like 'heaven on earth' - because such things are for 1. too vague and for 2. too big. Keep it real and keep it small, as in things that you are sure about that you can handle them yourself. If you are in doubt about it, be confident enough to say so. When you keep up with the baby steps, she eventually will see your progress and hopefully change her mind about you. Perhaps there is also the possibility that she is coming with you to either the ADHD-therapy group or psychologist or both? Or maybe there is a special group for couples... In that way she can experience she's not the only one and feel the same recognition as you have found yourself, and learn how to take the not so nice side-effects of ADHD more lightly.

I hope this helps, and I wish you good luck!

Quote

If you feel you really changed just say so, but its rare for people to dramatically change

Quote