i am 25...i self diagnosed that i have ADD 6 months ago...

Before that my life was up side down..in my school life i was average student.. people made fun of me...i used to cry alot..i used to blame myself what's going wrong with me :( ...then when i joined my high school it got worst n my performance was terrible..thanks to my mom she supported me n showed so much confidence in me...she said to me, "i know u r a bright student...u just have to work hard"...her support made me strong n i then i started to work hard n got admission in medical college.. :)

after getting into med collage i again started to procrastinate n luckily i got a friend who was funloving n used to study with me when exams were on our head n we used to pass by few marks..i had also studied ADHD in psychiatry but never paid attention to it as i was actually doing good in med life..thanks to my friend..

then after graduation i started doing my house job n met an amazing guy who was doing residency there (now resident in united states)n we fell in love with each other n got engaged 1 year ago..

my fiance parents are well known professors...so they wanted me to do specialization n be a well known doctor ...n practice my medicine in united states..i agreed n started to prepare for usmle exams..this exam is neccessary to give before practicing medicine there in states..its extremely tough...u have to study 7 subjects n bring highest marks to compete...extremely difficult for am immigrant..but my fiance had given it with flying colours n always encouraged me that u can do it!!!

NOW the real story begins.. after committing that ill prepare for this huge exams..i started to study...i realized that its really difficult to focus..i was not able to focus..i didnt had study partner this time as my friend is married n settle here n (as my fiance is in states)..i started to get irritate ...procrastinate...got addicted with internet..usmle forums...but lost my focus for studies...i cried..i used to hyperfocus on stupid things..my brain was unable to filter the right information...i felt horrible...i started to tell lies to my fiance that i am studying well..but i was not studying a word...i felt like i am betraying him...i love him the most n it has crushed me that i am telling lies to him...

then after 6 months of depression... once i was searching for something related to attention i came across about ADD...n i was SHOCKED...the signs were totally like me...i started to study many things related to it...n more i study more i say "oh yeah!!...this is me..."

after diagnosing ADD...i had mixed feelings...i knew that it was not that i was awkward but its the disease...unfortunately in 3rd world country..it is considered extremely bad that u have some sort of problem with brain...so i decided to never take medicines n visit psychiatrist ...n do self management for ADD...n to keep this as a secret..n whenever i feel that there is right time to tell my fiance..i will tell him..

but after diagnoses...i was still doing the same stuff like ADD do...i tried hard to concentrate n change myself n failed :(...this was really depressing..i knew what was wrong with me n knew that i have to concentrate on right things but it didnt worked...

then 3 months ago i started to look for positive side off ADD on internet n wow then i realized that i am soo much blessed.. Edison the famous scientist was also ADD...i have got so many qualities like: - hyperfocus...if we use it for positive purposes its a huge gift!! -creativity...thats explain that why i make amazing paintings..n people love my fashion sense... -always making my fiance feel good...(my fiance thinks that i am the most amazing girl in planet) i know its because i am hyperfocus about him..he loves that i am soo much concerned about him (he is the most interesting thing for me in this planet)..i remember every thing which is regarding him.. -hypersensitive..this is something that my family is proud of that i listen to them very carefully n always take care of them whenever they need it!!! (n also hypersensitive in bed...which my fiance loved it when he was here!!! )

we only need to polish these things...

then i come with idea that if the most interesting thing in world is my fiance...why not assume it that he is always with me...studying with me...discussing everything with me...at first i had extreme difficulty but then i used to assume that my fiance is being angry with me n this pushed me to study harder n being organized like whenever i have to do chores then i assume that he is with me n it helped me ALOT!!!...just assume the most interesting thing with the task n it will be alot more easier...

another thing is that i have realized myself that whenever ADDer want to do some task...it has two phases:

1- the distracting phase: very difficult phase...extremely difficult to get started, to concentrate..whenever start to do the task...the brain is constantly trying to run away from task..seems to be so boring...have millions of ideas to procrastinate...

2-hyperfocusing state: once the ADDer get over the distracting phase then it enter the hyperfocusing state..then it do the task more efficiently than normal brains n love to do it...no matter how dry it is...

so once the ADDer has mastered the distracting phase..it enters the perfection state...

to beat the distraction phase the ADDer has to work extremely hard...fight with brain...time urself...even scold ur brain...treat it like little child...always keep eye on your brain n whenever u find it roaming around stop it instantly n focus on task...no use to regret...just push ur brain to hyperfocusing phase n then see what ur brains do :).

-try focusing exercises or -minimize the distraction..(i only use internet in morning n during evening break) or -try the to involve the most interesting thing with task (like me.. assuming my fiance with the task)...atleast it has worked for me :) now i am focus n whenever i get distracted i assume my fiance being angry with me which i cant tolerate n again start to study..i have done pretty well in studies...my exams is in next month n i know i am well prepared for it!!

now i guess with extreme strong will n hard work i am able to enter the hyperfocuss phase n i am loving being ADD.. :)

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