One thing that seems to help me with my daughter is to change the subject on my daughter when she drifts from homework and then redirect back. Unfortunately it can be hard going for sure. She will get a defeatest, Ican't find or i Can't do. And I guess its just a matter for rewiring what she is looking at. I hope it helps.

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I read the page frist and then have her read the page. This has helped her alot and after a year now she is reading on her own and loves the library. There are times I still do this for her. I still have to re-teach long and short vowl sounds as she will forget and gets down on herself for not being able to read like the other kids. With alot of work she is on grade level with reading and is the second best speller in her class. All I an saying is it is alot of work and most of the time it is thankless work. I turn myself into a rubber wall and with out anger, but we have rules to follow and we stick to our routines daily. I am a singal grandparent rasing my two grandchildren with ADHA and they are my angles. I was told that I could get the kids on ISS because of ADHA. Has anyone done this? If they get ISS how does that affect them when they are adults?

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As Kels suggested, redirecting can be very helpful when your child gets caught in a moment of defiance. Sometimes they can get stuck heading in one direction (the argument or their defiance) and they don't know how to recover or stop the bus. Redirecting can work like a circuit breaker.

Another method is similar to a police chase method. What happens when someone is racing recklessly down the road? They let them get away - just in the short term - to difuse the behavior. In those moments, I would make what I expected of my kids clear, but then walk away. I f given a few minutes to calm down, they will sometimes do what you ask, without the battle. If I stood my ground and insisted that my kids stop what they were doing during one of those moments. It would only escalate.

You're comment about always having to get the last word? As the saying goes, it takes two. Dropping it on your end does not mean that you have lost - it means you have made yourself clear and you are not discussing further at the moment. He can't have a tug of war with you if you're not pulling on the other end.

Good luck!

- Chris

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