My 13 yr. old daughter does well on Concerta, 36 mgs but still needs the right meds for moods. Seroquel stopped working. Other mood meds make her too drowsy. Abilify worked but she couldn't stand feeling sedated by early evening. We grew weary after trying10 different meds and quit. My daughter does not self regulate her moods at all and has no idea that she has a bad temper, it's always some one else's fault. -Anika

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My son has extreme social issues, it hurts me to say this but I don't think he has ever had a real friend. At 11 he is now depresed and very emotional. When he does make a friend it dosn't last long because he gets offended easily and he curses alot (due to sligt onset of turets brought on by all the meds he has been on) most children don't like this and begin to make excusses as to why they can't play that day, which makes Cameron more angry and sad. It's very hard when your children say why dosn't anyone like me or I hate my life.

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Ugh, I feel for you and Cameron. Tell him I like him! I already do. Tell him someone out there is thinking about him and understands how he feels. I send him hugs and acceptance right here through the screen:

Hi Cameron. I want you to know something that your mom has probaby told you many times that is very true. You're good enough just the way you are! Sometimes we just have to tweek a few things when we interact with people, that's all. Not change who we are, but sometimes how we say or do certain things. People can help you with this. And sometimes us unique folks have to embrace and learn what's special about us before others figure out, too. Other people can be a little slow... others can be weird about people that aren't exactly like them. Exactly like them! Ugh! Who wants to be exactly like everyone else? BO-RING! :-) So know that you're have value and are special and a good person regardless of what anyone else thinks. Really, it's true. Your friendships will come.

Back to Mom. Things CAN get better. This is not a permanent, life sentence. While he's going through this, maybe he could benefit from extra positive attention from adults. Someone he looks up to. Or more phone calls and more visits from family, just to see him. Make him a big deal, the center of attention to boost his confidence that people really do want to be around him.

Or are there certain kids that would be able to learn and understand that Cameron doesn't do these things on purpose and is really trying to connect but has some challenges that he needs help with. Sometimes when you teach kids about another kid's struggles, they rally around them. Only certain kids that you feel comfortable with - of course. Maybe the kids just don't understand or think Cameron's being mean when that's not really the case?

I bet you do your best to comfort and love your child - you can tell how much you care. I'd like to send a special message to him to let him know that it's not him that people do not like, no, every child is worth loving and every child has something to offer all of us. He sounds like a special, loving human being just as he is, it's just that sometimes we have some "quirky things" about us (everyone has them, some are just a little tricker than others) that need to be tweeked a little bit in order to connect with and make friends.

Me? I started out doing ok, I was shy and thought of as a dorky smart kid. But then I was bullied in 6th, 7th, and 8th grades. Three different times. So I know how it feels to feel isolated and alone. Not accepted for who I was.

Now that I'm all grown up, I have my own quirks. When I get stressed, and to make up for those years of shyness, I can talk at 100 mph. And sometimes that really puts people off and I feel it. It makes me feel sad. Embarrassed. I find myself kicking myself later asking: Why did I talk so much? What is wrong with me??

So I have to remind myself and pace myself when talking to people. And when I do remember - I find that they are much more receptive. So it wasn't me they didn't like - it was that quirky thing I do sometimes. Not that everyone will like you everywhere, everytime, but people can and will like Cameron. He's got some things going on -- that does not mean he's not likeable or has nothing to offer. He just needs some help tweeking those things to be able to let his true Cameron shine.

I hope that helps - to make it about those "quirky, pesky things" that are not who he is as a person, they're just behaviors that are getting in his way of connecting. Making those things the issue, the "pesky guys' might be a way of making him feel better about who he is right now. I'm not a doctor or anything of the sort :-) I'm just thinking about how much he must be internalizing this and how painful and lonely he must feel and maybe that's a way for him to deflect that and be able to love himself just as he is.

And by looking at certain behaviors as "pesky guys" maybe he can "talk to them" and tell them to knock it off when connecting with other kids. He can say "Hey aggression! Not while I'm here talking with my new friends!" Or something like that. Again - only a suggestion. I hope it helps!

Ugh, if I could create a profession where I could meet with all the little Cameron's in the world and make them feel better - I'd take that over all the money in the world. No child should have to feel this way.

One question, no offense meant at all - are all those meds truly necessary? Are there any possible other alternatives that would not cause these issues for him - since they are traumatically affecting his life? The emotional effects of loneliness and isolation are really dangerous to people's health. Sometimes people don't know this and some MD's don't pay attention to this as a real serious health issue. The meds may be helping him in some ways, but it sounds like they could be really harming him in others, that are creating pain and hurt at a deeper level that need to be healed.

Also, not to scare you, but please get him the help he needs as soon as possible - kids are more prone to suicidal behavior if they feel so lost and alone. And so he can build his social skills and find friendships and acceptance and that will help him now and later in life. I also know this because we lost 5 people to this in my hometown while I was in high school. Mostly boys.

It might also help if he could talk to someone who can relate to how he feels. Someone that has similar challenges or heck, I'd be happy to share my experiences and let him know that it can and does get better. Sounds like he needs some hope as much as he needs friends.

Cameron's mom and Cameron - bless you both and may lots of love and acceptance come your way.

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cameronsmom33 said: My son has extreme social issues, it hurts me to say this but I don't think he has ever had a real friend. At 11 he is now depresed and very emotional. When he does make a friend it dosn't last long because he gets offended easily and he curses alot (due to sligt onset of turets brought on by all the meds he has been on) most children don't like this and begin to make excusses as to why they can't play that day, which makes Cameron more angry and sad. It's very hard when your children say why dosn't anyone like me or I hate my life.

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That was some great advice, I saw big parts of my childhood in your response. YES, please get him what he needs no matter what that is ASAP.

GREAT POST

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