Hi Everyone,

After 18 mths of unemployment, I finally got another job. When I interviewed for the job, I asked my would be mgr what was the most important traits she was looking for in an employee. She said she needed someone proactive, a self-starter who knew how to take initiative. I knew immediately that those were challenging areas for me. When I got the job I noticed how everyone raved about the girl who was in the position before me. How wonderful she was and how she was so on top of everything, etc. I knew I had some big shoes to fill so I planned to work very hard at being proactive, organized, focused and dedicated.

Its been almost 2 mths and I really like my mgr and my team, but I've had a very difficult time staying focused. I'm a creative writer/magazine writer by gifting but for money I work as a tech writer full time. It's been hard for me to stay focused because I don't find the things I'm writing on interesting, so it takes me a while to get going on it. I'm getting the feeling that my mgr (who is very nice and patient) knows that I'm not like the previous girl. For instance, sometimes I'll meet w/her about what I'm working on and she'll offer a suggestion on how to do something. But the thing she suggests is something I already know and was planning to do. She just beat me to saying it! That gives the impression that I have to be hand-held. Other times, I feel like I have to be high-energy, bouncing off the walls to show I'm proactive, but that's just not me. And today, our offices were opening at 10am because of icy roads and bad weather. I called my mgr to tell her I wasn't going in (as with everyone else in my team). She said that was fine, that she didn't expect any of us to go in today because it's better to be safe. She mentioned that if she weren't on vacation today that she would probably go in because she lives close to the office. Well, she knows that I live 15 mins away from the office too so I don't know if that was her way of saying that I could go in if I were really "proactive". I told her I would do what I could from home by checking my email. I was hoping she didn't ask if I had my work laptop w/me. I didn't. I left it at work. But of course she asked. Then she mentioned, well you can just grab files from items you've sent in your email. Again, something I already knew but didn't beat her to the punch offering up the info.

Bottomline is, I've been fired from every job I ever had since graduating from college over a decade ago. With a toddler and a mortgage, I CAN NOT lose another job. I want to do my very best here and I don't want to disappoint myself again or my mgr. I'm tired of being a professional loser. But I just can't seem to shake these ADD traits. I'm not taking any ADD meds because of the joint pain it causes me. So I'm relying on my own strength. Any advice on what can I do to be a better employee?

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