A breakup after months is easier than a breakup after 2o+ year marriage with children. My X had ADD and would never get tested for it. It caused isolation and children to have an absent Father although ,he was in the house.(glued to TV, video games, computer). Counseling was attempted and he was too proud to admit he needed support. Reckless behavior and hours, then years of online and offline activity passed. Addictions set in and swept through each member of the family's relationship with him. I believe you can offer help and even help them begin the process of getting help. However, it is their responsibility to learn to accept and deal with their challenges themselves. I did not know until too late that he wasn't working at the office or at home as he had stated He was living a hidden life of isolation both on and off line. Ultimately causing him to lose his marriage and children relationships. I am a learning specialist and work with ADD clients each day. The difference between the ones that succeed and the ones who don't, is in their "actions." Thus, going in either a positive or negative direction. Reach out to him. Hold his hand to the first appointment, but let go if he doesn't do the necessary work for himself. I see success stories all the time. There is a person out there for you. He may be it. Test it and see.

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When you are in a couple relationship where one or both parties have ADHD, it can be very difficult to sort things out. on your own. I would say nearly impossible. I would recommend you get in touch with a Couples Therapist that really understands ADHD or an ADHD Couples Coach. There are usually too many variables, histories and behaviors in ADHD couple relationships to wade through without a third party observer who can help you figure out what is really going on. And it can feel really good to know you are in capable and competent hands with the right person's support.

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I don't doubt that you seriously have concerns and feelings for this man. But after a 15 year marriage of nothing but heartache, I'm telling you to close that door and don't look back. I have two young children and out of work so I am trapped and dependent on my husband for income until I can find a job. I also have an active Epstein Barr virus which leaves me completely exhausted. Epstein Barr is reactiviated by stress. My husband cheated on my a year ago which the stress made me sick!

My husbands porn addicition started with movies and magazines at first. Which I didnt find until we had been married for 7 years! Then it turned into finding xrated websites on our family computer and then last year it turned into a affair with a coworker who was willing to satisfy his sick perverted fantasies. He refuses counseling and also has a very bad excuse for parents who never got him treated. They thought he was lazy and a "typically teenager". His mother is Obessive Compulsive hoarder and I believe is undiagnosed ADHD.

If you can't trust him now, it doesn't get any better and you will always wonder if he is telling the truth. That is no way to start a relationship or a marriage. There are better men out there!

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There is a dating site specifically for people with ADHD - addultpartner.com

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