I've often wondered the same thing. Just recently diagnosed with Adult ADHD (but wondered if I had it as child/teen). I remember as a teen & into my 20's I could not maintain a relationship with a guy beyond friends because of my inability to focus, always fidgety & inability to communicate appropriately. Yes, I have found myself breaking up then getting back together over & over as well. Are you taking any medication? If so, it could help you focus on what you want out of the relationship to stay with someone. Now that I am in my 30's, I'm trying to maintain a relationship with a guy, but it's still hard to express my feelings even though I am on medication for ADHD. I’ve always had a hard time expressing my feelings. Also have hard time expressing them in a positive manner so I don’t “blow” up & the relationship is gone. I know relationships & communication is a lot of work in the first place but when I have ADHD it takes extra planning & work at expressing my feelings with a guy. Hope this kind of helps.

Quote

ADHD expert Michele Novotni addresses this question. Here's what she has to say:

Adults and teens with attention deficit can remain in one monogamous relationship while dating or married. While ADHD brings an additional set of challenges into a relationship, the challenges do not need to be considered overwhelming.

All long-term relationships -- with friends or lovers -- take time, energy, understanding, and effort to grow and maintain. ADHD medication management, counseling, skill training, and education are often the pieces used to help support ADHD relationships.

Hope this helps. You can find more relationship advice for ADHD adults here.

Quote

I was diagnosed a few years ago with Adult ADHD childhood onset after having tons of relationship problems at work and at home. I'm on meds and go to therapy regularly. The therapy helped me to realize that there are some tendencies that turn folks off and chase them away like hyper focus on making something right when you screw something up, not backing off when someone is feeling trapped, and the perfectionism. People get fed up and walk away. It's painful, yes, and definitely poses a challenge. The challenge I am currently facing is finding friends my own age to do stuff with. I'm in my mid 30's and I have not had one single constructive relationship with a peer in my life. Most of my friends are 60 and above. That's not all bad, but it does get kinda lonely out there. I would eventually like to find that special someone, but it doesn't look too hopeful.

Quote

I definitely have brought a lot of stress and sadness to my partner, forgetting important things, losing jobs, not paying attention when she's talking, but sleeping with someone else has never been a temptation, I know inpulse control is a problem with the disorder, but that seems extreme.

Quote

I have low self esteem and have been in 4 marriages with abusers...physical, emotional, and verbal. I am a one man woman and when I am in a comitted relationship, I am comitted..I do think my ADHD and low self esteem has drug me into relationships that I actually thought I was being loved for me..I am sometimes too open and honest...I hold nothing back..and say what is on my mind...outloud...get distracted VERY easily, but a good person and never out to hurt another human...I am seriously wondering if I actually exist anymore. People say they want honesty and thats all you get from me, honesty..I hold nothing back...but never set out to hurt someone, so I cant understand why I have never found one who actually loves me for me...I want to be accecpted by others so I am forgiving when someone hurts me, and simply want to be accecpted so I accecpt others..I have even gotten to the point I am embarrased to go into public and look in the mirror..is ADHD a reason I attract abusers? I am too forgiving? I forget the hurt I was caused? I am embarrased to look in the mirror? I just want to be loved? Is this all because of my ADHD?

Quote

There is a cool dating site for people with ADHD. addultpartner.com

Quote