I can't deal with my husbands lying. He tells one lie and has to tell multiple lies to cover it up and so on. Most of his lies are focused on trying to hide how often he smokes marijuana. Early on, I didn't care that he smoked on occasion, but I confronted him saying I was concerned when the frequency became everyday and he was under the influence just about anytime I interacted with him. He told me I was being controlling by trying to tell him how often is appropriate to smoke.

Now, he lies to me about where he is going (saying he's helping friend with a project or something similar and instead goes to a neighbors garage to drink and smoke pot). I've tried to just show love unconditionally and be okay with it, but I am not. I'm resentful of him. And the few times I've called him out on a lie, he turns it around on me claiming it is my fault. Once he said that he lies because he doesn't want to feel that he's dissapointing me. I can understand that, but where is middle ground here? He is unwilling to compromise with me, and if he commits to just smoking on occasion, he will just start hiding it again. I am concerned about his lying and addictive behavior. Thanks in advance for your help.

In response to Phillymanhere: My husband was diagnosed with ADD and prescribed Adderall about two years ago (age 33). Prior to that, his doctor had him on a sleep aid, as well as depression and anxiety meds, trying to find the right combination to help him. Today, he is only on Adderall and is pretty good about taking it daily.

Throughout our relationship he'd be fixated on one addictive behavior, recognized it as such and then turned to the next one. It has been gambling, gaming, alcohol, overspending and right now it is pot. His dishonesty with me is centered around these behaviors. Can the cycle be broken?

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