Our 10 year old daughter is a daily Problem behavior-wise, with a capital P. It's similar to your situation and those of many other parents I'm sure - she becomes loud, abusive and violent at the drop of a hat when she hears the "n" work (no). She's been diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar, and some psychiatrists have said her behavior may not all be ADHD related, i.e. she does have some control over it.

For instance, her teachers virtually never see misbehavior out of her - she saves it all for the immediate family and 99% of the time it's in the house. That to me supports the theory of her being in at least partial control of her behavior.

She screams, swears, hits/kicks/scratches, slams doors, and makes life (and parenthood) miserable on a daily/nightly basis. Her 12 year old sister often has scratches and bruises from her sister, as does my wife. She's afraid of me but I'm not always around to police things.

Two things we do work, though usually only briefly: threaten to delete her Wizard101 online account, or call the police. My wife's nephew is a local police officer and he's said calling the police (or taking our daughter to the station) can help scare her into better behavior. She IS deathly afraid of that approach as she believes she will have to spend a night in jail. Obviously that wouldn't happen, but we let her believe that. I've had the phone in my hand and begun dialing, but that's as far as we've taken it so far.

We're at our wits' end with her, and the nightly drama one time is going to result in making that phone call. Will a visit from an officer do any good? Temporarily perhaps. Time will probably tell.

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We have a 10 yr old boy who is diagnosed ADHD along with severe anxiety. We have recently entered into dealing with ODD . When he is off his meds he is a mess. Unable to control himself, especially if he is told no. He has often beat up on his younger brother as well as myself. It's scary to see him go from fine to defiant & aggressive in a matter of minutes. Then just as quickly as it turns on , it turns off and he extremely remorseful. I honestly dont have any suggestions that help except that as a couple you need to be on the same page at all times. We have recently begun a point system for him. He gets points for doing the right thing and we take away for misbehavior. Points add up for time to play nintendo or mom/dad time. Not sure if it will help but we will try anything at this point. You are not alone!

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Your post really struck me. It is why I am on my mission. I help children and adults with these types of issues. I would suggest looking up EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and ADHD/ADD. It can be the thing that works when nothing else will, ZPoint also. These are alternative methods of dealing with negative behavior and emotions. I have personally used them with students exhibiting ADD/ADHD symptoms, and the results were very encouraging. I also recommend to look into these tools for yourself, as it surely isn't easy to be a parent of a child with these issues. I could feel your emotion in your post. I hope these tools can be helpful for you.

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My son is 14 and was diagnosed at about 5 with ADHD/ODD. The past several years have been a nightmare. He has been on assorted meds, but is currently taking 40 mg of Adderall XR, 20 mg of Abilify, melatonin 6 mg as a sleep aid at night, and diazepam 5 mg when it is apparent he is becoming agitated (usually too late). Being told no can set up a period of throwing things, knocking chairs over, clearing counters, slamming doors, and hitting me as I try to prevent him from destroying things. Last November we called the police 3X. The third time they took him to the mental health complex where he spent several hours before being released to us. He sees a therapist and a pediatric behavior specialist. He can keep himself together at school but lets go at home. I've been told it's because he loves me so much and feels safe - yipee!!! His language is also horrible. These periods last only minutes, but it seems like an eternity. He's getting bigger and stronger. I get to where I'm afraid to say no to him in order to prevent an outburst, but it just isn't fair to the rest of the kids.

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My son is 11, and diagnosed with ADD and Panic Disorder. He takes Intuniv in the morning and Paxil at night.

He is very sweet, but uses curse words at home and school, says negative things to/about his peers, and gets into occasional altercations (verbal/physical) with his peers and his older brother.

For the past week, on the way to school in the morning, we have been repeating some "affirmations," and they actually seem to be helping! I ask a "leading" question, and he answers with a "plan" for his behavior:

"What positive choices will you make today?" Him: "I will walk away from an argument and stop talking." "You will do less..." Him: "Reacting and talking." "And more..." Him: "Thinking, listening, and watching." "If someone has a different opinion that you, is it personal?" Him: "No."

And so on... We haven't had any altercations this week, and each success makes him feel more powerful.

It's a small step, but every little bit helps. :0)

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My Son has been on Concerta 27mg daily, and had been taking 5mg of Ritalin at 3pm. He too would have the violent outbursts at his sister when she would "annoy" him. Recently he started taking 2mg of Intuniv with his Concerta in the morning and stopped taking the Ritalin. His emotional behavior has improved tremedously on the Intuniv. There have been alot less outbursts on his part. He actually stops and thinks before acting. It seems to help with alot of the side effects that he was getting from the Stimulant medication. Its even helped increase his appetite some too. Im not sure if it is something that would work for everyone, but it has helped my son alot, and might be worth asking the doctor about.

Another thing my son just recently started is a day program that is offered through the Psychiatric Hospital where he sees his ADHD Dr. He goes Mon-Fri for 4hrs, and interacts with other kids with ADHD who are like him. The counselers and Doctors teach them various skills for problem solving, making friends, dealing with anger and emotions, ect. It lasts for 2-6weeks (or longer) depending on the childs needs. So far my loves it, and seems to be learning some valuable information. That could be another thing you could look into for your son.

Hope this info Helps.

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My now 16 year old son was also diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and ODD . He killed our cat when he was 7.He is a freshman in High School and has been in 7 schools in the past 9 years. He has been on numerous meds when he was younger and doesn't take any of them now. He see's his Psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor and school case manager. He is in Special Ed and the school calls me all the time because he just wants to do what he wants at school and that doesn't include homework or paying attention. But it does include 5 detentions and one more and he is suspensded. You cannot tell him "No". He is 6 foot 2 and now a bully to myself and my husband. We are both 50 years old. He demands things from us and if he doesn't get it he will steal our money. I caught him in my husband's wallet and he screamed at me. He told his psychiartist he has stolen hundreds upon hundreds from us. He just doesn't care. My husband and I do what we can to try to live safe and happy. He has been to Dr.'s, specialist and every person in the mental health field and still currently has all these services. Nothing has helped. We love him dearly and have tried everything- and we will never stop trying and loving him but our life is truely sad.

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Have you thought about having him admitted to an in-patient program? The teen years are the hardest to change behaviors as most teens are stubborn and dont seem to care, maybe being fully immersed in a full-time program with professionals trained to deal with such behaviors might help reach him and help him learn new behaviors and such that will help him as he reaches adulthood. I know it would be difficult, but it may be beneficial to do before he turns 18 and you cant do anything.

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Sometimes the medication can trigger violence in kids. Was violence an issue before medication was started or did it come up after. If it is a recent issue, then medication could be to blame. Have him go off medication for a period of time that is workable and see if his aggressiveness gets better. Then reintroduce meds one at a time to determine which may be the problem.

There are certain meds for ADHD that improve the symptoms of violence too. See you doctor about these possibilities.

Diet can also exaggerate violence in ADHD kids. The common culprit is a naturally occurring chemical in foods known as amines. This chemical occurs quite strongly on foods like tomato's, chocolate and cheese. A sign that your son may be intolerant to these foods and they could be causing the violence is if he craves them. Often the body craves the problem causing foods.

Preservatives often found in bread are also often a culprit. Check your bread labels. Have you introduced any new foods recently or changed brands. Also sometimes a food you were eating before introduces new brands of preservatives without telling you, check labels.

ADHD boys also need a good outlet for their energy and natural aggression. Without it, the behavior comes out as violence. He should be doing at least 30 mins of rigorous exercise every day. Does he have an activity he enjoys like bike riding, rip stick, skateboarding, rollar blading that he can do each day. You can introduce a special reqrd for doing the exercise.

Get him involved in sports outside of school at least three times a week. Martial arts are good, as well as sports like swimming.

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