I too have a husband with ADD. Didn't find out until my son was diagnosed with it. Finally, I understood all his quirks! It is challenging raising kids in general, however, when one parent has ADD it becomes extremely important for the other spouse to be very organized and even-keeled. It is quite a balancing act, but women especially are born organizers. Realize that a child may be genetically predisposed to having ADD and that, if so, your husband will have a greater understanding of the way he/she is wired. (Sort of a mirror reflection) As with all parenting, being patient and calm are very important, the same tools you use to understand your husband.

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It turns out my husband and I both have ADD. Of course we didn't know this until after we had been together for 10 years or so. So, the little fun and cute quirks that I found appealing turns out to be a bad combination for everyday life for sure. We have a 5 year old son and I do feel badly for him that he has to be surrounded by all of our chaos. But I have to say that he seems to be pretty adjusted to it. We can pretty much take him anywhere and thrown any situation at him and he is completely fine. Thankfully. What I would say is that don't let it hold you back from having kids. There are many good things about being ADD parents -- for one thing, there are a lot of fun times and a lot of imaginative games. It's never dull. But know that it will be difficult since a child upsets any balance you may have (and I know you're saying -- what balance?) My advice is to use any tool you can find or afford and take any help you can. (Housekeepers etc.) In the long run it is better for you all. And most of all, try to be forgiving of yourselves.

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50% of adults with ADHD pass on the condition to their children. My husband is ADD and I have an ADD son and ADHD daughter. Also, 50% of ADD/ADHD children have a learning disorder. My son has dysgraphia. That said, my children are extremely intelligent and fantastic kids. Despite the extra work, I would not trade them in for anything :) My husband is the best father to my children that I could have hoped for.

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Thank you to you all for your advice and encouraging words. I truly appreciate your taking the time to respond.

My husband was not diagnosed until age 33. He had been on this crazy roller coaster, taking depression and anxiety meds that were making him totally disconnected. At that time our relationship was hanging in the balance. After further examination, his doctor put him on Adderall and weened him off of the other meds. What a relief it was to get the right treatment for him and to finally have explanation for what was happening! We went through so much together and our relationship has come a long way in the last few years.

My husband and I are both excited about starting a family (and we're definitely committed). We've talked about what we feel that we will bring to the table as parents and agree that in a lot of ways, we compliment one another well. I know there will be times where things feel particularly out of balance but I feel more confident after hearing others successes.

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