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million dollar question
My personal experience is, it's not just a good thing to slow down and stop trying to "fix" everything, it may be the most important thing you ever do in regards to your kid (and you!). I've done the "boot camp" thing to death, and let me tell you, it invariably did about 1000 times more harm than good. Organization is supposed to make life EASIER not harder. Concentrate on things that cut down the daily effort of just living, that get unnecessary hurdles under control. That does NOT mean control EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Trying to nearly made me AND my kid crazy. Try different things, stick with what makes things run smoothly, drop the stuff that makes life tedious. Try to make things fun, rewarding, for both of you, then it doesn't feel so much like work. You just can't have a calm, peaceful environment for your family if your stressed to your max most of the time. Try setting a short term goal, and do something fun with your kid for a reward when he reaches it. Try using written lists and schedules to the point that they make things like morning and evening routines simple and predictable, but don't go into "boot camp" mode about it, and if your planned schedule is constantly causing pressure, it's time to re-evaluate it and prioritize. Just work on 2 or 3 things to be changed at a time, until they are improved on enough to work, instead of setting a standard of so-called "normal" and then busting both your and your kids' butts to meet it. Don't forget to pay more attention to the things your kid does right than the things he does wrong. That's probably one of the most important things you can ever do for him. Make developing his natural interests and things he's good at a bigger priority that "fixing" what's wrong, and you may find that he's not as in need of "fixing" as you may have come to believe. There are some great articles on this site about "positive parenting" that put me back in the right frame of mind whenever I start to wander down that dead-end road. Just know your not the only one who has taken a few trips down it. This is great question your asking. Just asking it opens up doors we don't always know are there.
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