My son was diagnosed in First Grade as having ADHD by a respected child psychologist that my family doctor recommended--not a school-provided psychologist. I believe this ensured a fair diagnosis which afforded him an IEP in First Grade. For many years, my husband and I would go to the IEP Meetings that were planned and run by school officials. They led us to believe that they were doing what was best for my son. We believed that for too many years--until my son reached Junior High. Through all the years, my son always had difficulty in school. My husband and I were in weekly contact with his school (principal, teachers, etc.) to help manage his behavior and assignments. It was a long, difficult road just getting him to Junior High School. Our saving grace was the constant support we had (via notes) from the family doctor and psychologist that we provided to the school which helped to keep my son out of trouble. When we moved to another state, we found out they had NO ONE in their school with an ADHD diagnosis that required an IEP (small town, rural school--did not believe in ADHD--only spankings). We were told by others in the community that it was impossible to get the school system (paid school psychologist) to diagnose children with this disorder. They would diagnose with other disorders that did not qualify for an IEP. Shortly upon arriving in this school system, they wanted to conduct the re-evaluation that is periodically required. Upon conducting research on the types of tests they wanted to perform, I finally realized some of the additional testing the school wanted to perform could potentially remove my son from an IEP status. (I believe this was their intent.) It took us until my son was in Junior High School until we realized that the "system" was only doing the minimum to help our son. They had no interst in doing what was best for him--only what was required by law--and they didn't even want to do that. They wanted him to be diagnosed differently so that they could suspend and/or expel him and not have to conduct IEP Meetings. They did not like my son and they sure did not like his parents who interfered weekly! Since I had moved, I stayed in contact with my son's original psychologist and he recommended we take my son to a large city psychologist at a major hospital for the re-evaluation vs. using the "free" school psychologst. This strategy paid off. My son's diagnosis and status in IEP did not change--even though the school officials were furious!! There was nothing they could do to discontinue the services we requested.

My husband I went to the next IEP Meeting. There were many things that needed to be improved upon in the IEP in order for my son to be successfull, but they did not agree with us. They tried to pressure us into signing the document. At this point, my husband and I both signed an IEP (which is always required at the end of each IEP Meeting) and by our signatures we wrote "I do not agree with this IEP." You should have seen the shocked and upset response we received from all in the room! Once we did this, things turned around. We told them what we wanted vs. agreeing to what they proposed. From then on out, we were in control. It was very refreshing to realize this. I wanted to share this as I don't think many parents know that can sign the IEP but state that they do not agree. The next IEP that was written was written the way we wanted to see it--with a lot more hours and attention being devoted to my son than they had originally offered. Hope this helps. We were sad it took us until Junior High to realize this! We thought they were in control; we had no idea we could be in control!

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