Hi - I don't have any answers - wish I did. I thought I would reply since I feel like I am in a similiar situation. I also have a 6 year old who is out of control a lot of the time. He has adhd and feel like there is more going on. He displays very hyperactive behavior - but is also VERY implusive and aggressive. He looses controls and screams and yells at us. He refuses to listen and I feel like he totally controls our household. He doesn't have any friends at school. He is on Tenex now and that has seemed to help to take the edge off - but he still is out of control a lot of the time. I am trying to figure out what else is going on with him and they keep saying he is too young to look into other issues such as bipolar. I spend alot of time crying and trying to figure out what to do. I hate feeling this way. He does have behavior problems at school and I am going to start setting up the 504 process at school. Have you done this yet. If not I can talk to you a little bit about that. It sounds like it might be necessary if they are talking expulsion. I would love to talk to you more - it sounds like we are in the same boat. Maybe we can help eachother. Hope to hear from you soon.

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Hi megryansmom, thanks for writing. I managed to locate a social skills group which I'm hoping will help with some of his issues. My son's therapist also recommended a book to me, that I've been reading, and it's beginning to help me have a bit of perspective. It's called "easy to love, hard to discipline". We just changed my sons meds, so we're waiting to see how he reacts. Sometimes I feel scared when I read that the kids get used to the meds and then they stop being as effective and changes in dose/or meds have to be made. It's only been 3 months, and we're already making a change (and when they stop working, "all he* breaks loose"). I think the program you spoke of is only available through the public school system. We're sending our son to a private school, currently, so we're relying on the compassion of the school (and our paycheck) to keep him there. We arranged for a SEIT part time, which may be of help, but doesn't cover enough of his needs. Last week he took a pair of scissors and tried to cut the hair of another child (when the SEIT wasn't there). I've come to live in fear of what the teachers may say. I don't know enough about bipolar disorder to know when a child can first be diagnosed, but I wonder if someone else might be more willing to evaluate him for it sooner. We're using a behavioral program at home based on the philosophy of Russel Barkley. The program follows a point system, and we do find it somewhat helpful (let me know if you want to know more). This is a really tough age as they have high energy and they're still learning the rules of social behavior (while, for us, being oppositional). I used to have hopes that my son would be at the top of his class. Now I hope he can stay in school and just have friends (or a friend).

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Ladies you both sound like you have your hands full. As we all do: I have an 8 1/2 year old daughter with Aspergers, ADHD and sensory processing disorder. One thing to remember that our children might be 6 years old biologically but developmentally they are more like 4. The birthday party sounded very overstimulating for your son. This sensory or auditory overstimulation could cause some of the behaviors you witnessed. I have witnessed them as well. My daughter also takes ADHD medication 2 times a day higher dose in am and 1/2 dose at lunch. She is also on respirdol for the aggression and implusive behaviors. They help, but they do not eliminate the problems or issues. I do deep pressure on her right before we enter a noisy environment and i always allow her to decide if we are staying or not. I would rather excuse myself them have her be miserable and or acting out. Our kids don't want to be bad. They want to be good, but it is hard. We have used the "explosive Child" by Dr. Ross Greene as a teaching tool with our daughter. It has been very helpful because we are "learning" to pick and choose or battles. I say "learning" because everyday we learn something new that works or doesn't work. It is never going to be easy for us to parent our children. However, every accomplishment he/she has is a milestone for us. Just think of what other parents are missing out on because it is expected of their child. You are not alone is feeling the way you do. I was their too and i still have my moments and days. Hang in there and continue to reach out for support, because this is going to be your best tool in helping your son.

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My heart goes out to you! I am the grandmother of an 11 year old boy who sometimes drives me insane! :) At 6 years of age he was expelled from kindergarten for his irratic behavior. Expelled from Kindergarten! We pulled him from that school, and sent him to a charter school which is much more cooperative with him, even getting him into counsoling sessions every Wednesday. Your battle will be long and often difficult, but you are not alone. I try to attend every meeting or function at the school to show my grandson how proud I am of him dispite what some people may think of him and his behavior. When I run into a person who is whinning about his behavior I sympathize with them and inform them that I too have difficulties with him doing a certain behavior DUE TO HIS DISABILITY, and what do they suggest I do about the situation. This usually opens up the conversation and they get educated. I also have repeatedly educated my grandson that while his medication HELPS him to focus, it is ultimately his own decision to do his best to behave in an appropriate manner and to understand that having ADD does not excuse him from trying nor from the consequences of his actions. Your guy is young yet, and is still learning what other little ones have to learn on top of dealing with this ADD junk. Be patient Mama, know that you are his biggest advocate and that you must lead him to be successful in himself and to overcome this rock in the road along with all the others. Support him and work out little hand signals for when you notice he's getting out of control. If it still escalates, then quietly remove him from the activity until he has a chance to calm down. ADD kids are like TMI TOO MUCH INFORMATION! they get overloaded. Have courage, God has chosen you for this special little person. You can do the job!

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what u ve been facing is very similar to what i'm going through as a mom of a 7 yr old son with ADHD,ODD n sensory issues..he'll be turning 8 yrs next mn...right nw i was feeling very overwhelmed reading ur posts as i too was feeling very upset n tearful at his hyperactive n aggressive behaviour..many times he's out of control and just refuses to listen or comply with whats being told...i was at my wits' end on how to make him understand or co-operate..at other times he'll just turn a deaf ear to wht we r telling n continue to do what he's doing(like watching tv or playing games on the pc)..though he's brilliant-the psychologist says he has a superior IQ-he just hates to study or do his homework...its an everyday struggle with him to just make him complete his school work...the last post just before mine seemed a little encouraging when i heard abt ur daughter n how u ve managed to go through ur struggles with some success....but everyday comes with its set of challenges n many times i really dont know how to cope up with it..

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My son is 7 yrs old with ADHD. I feel everyones pain on having a child with these issues. I am my son's biggest advocate and what I do for him is love him unconditionally. They so need to be told often by their parents that they are loved and that there is nothing they could ever do to make you stop loving them. They are so often misunderstood by their peers and adults. When people judge me or my son, I simply tell them they can come walk a mile in my shoes anyday! God gave these children to us for a reason. I found out for me was because he knew I was going to love him no matter what he does and I do with all my heart. Just be there for them because they need someone so bad. I did try a product called Pharma Gaba for my son it calmed him down in kindergarten but we have since moved on to Metadate CD 20mg. I will probably have to change this as it gives him a stomach ache. Good luck to all you moms and understand there are other people in your shoes.

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thank you all for writing. It means so much to me to hear from you. It also shocks me to see how many people are dealing with children with this kind of special issue. I've been feeling so alone. We just haven't really met other parents with kids with this issue in our son's school. Last week was a rough week when we changed our son's meds. Twice we were asked to pick him up shortly after school began. A third day we were asked to keep home altogether. By the end of the week I looked catatonic and shell shocked. Fortunately, over the weekend, he seemed to have stabilized on his new med, so we're hoping. My husband and I are in disagreement about how to handle the birthday party situations. I basically "swore" off parties until I feel he's sufficiently in control of himself. My husband worries this will further harm him socially (I think acting out harms him enough). Fortunately, for the time being there are no parties/ decisions to be made. We also met with a psychologist who gave us some information regarding how to help him, so I thought I'd share with you what we heard: We were advised to have "special time" with him for a minimum of 10 minutes a day (between 10- 30, ideally), of non-judgemental play. Our role is to have a running "commentary" (like sports broadcasting), describing what he's doing during the play (ie: "you're drawing a picture of a car, now you're coloring it in, oh, now the crayon cracked, you're using a different color, etc...) The point being to let him see that we "see" him as he is and are not always trying to "fix" him. He also advised us to try to catch him doing the right things and to occassionally give "fetch commands" (pass me the napkin, etc.) to give more opportunities to praise him for doing simple easy things to boost his self esteem and our perception of his compliance. I would love to hear if any of you have any tools or ideas that you've found have worked for you with your kids. Thanks again for your support and sharing.

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Hi, I am going through the same thing and man sometimes I feel so alone too. I sometimes have to go and lock myself in my room and cry. my son sounds very similar to yours he is 5 almost 6 years old in June. He is on 3 meds tenex being one of them and he still has these issues. I recentley had to get him off of methaphendate 20 mg. Because he was getting way to aggresive and possesed so much rage from the side effects. He is now on adderall 15mg. But everytime he is on an adderall or adderall derivative he has these emotional meltdowns. I am still experiencing with the meds and trying to get them undercontrol. He has better days I noticed with tenex and another at night. I have heard concerta is a good one too. I haven't tried it yet though. I also notice it has helped to switch his diet to gluten free, dye free, and perservative free and I added flaxseed to his food. I added more protien too. He does better when the diet is consistant. I also noticed at birthday parties my son had a harder time too. I think it is overwhelming to be in larger groups and then he usually eats a cupcake with dye and sugar and then he hits the roof. He is impulsive, hyper, and agressive, He throws fit and it is not just a regular kid fit it is an ADHD tantrum. I just try to stay patient and remove him from the situation and tell eveyone we had a good time and see you later. I let him go home run the energy off in the back yard and then finally we go in. It is usually a little better then. One thing we have to remember is that they can not control the side effects they have from the meds or of their deficit. We have to stay calm even in those time we just want to freak out or give up. I had another person that told me one thing that always sticks with me now when I get angry or frustrated. They said they had a kid with ADHD and they were out of control as a child and then later grew up and became very productive, and successful adults later. The person told me that there kid came and said you know why I am as successful as I am now mom. The mom said why. The now adult child said. Because you never gave up on me when everyone else did. Everyone looks at our kids as outsiders, problem children. When in reality they are just trying to catch up with the rest of us. They are usually smarter then the average kid just have a hard time processing it outward. They are always being turned down, judged, and scolded. To see person so positive and standby them is so important for them. It always a work in progress with a child with ADHD. sometimes will be harder then others but you will get through this and your child will thank you for it one day. You are doing the right thing by helping and being there for your child :)

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