Let me apologize in advance if this is too long or bounces around and goes off point. Thank you for understanding.

I have been working for my current employer for alomost 10 years. In that time I have lost my mother, gone through a painful divorce, had a major surgery, all within about an 18 month period a few years ago. I contacted my company's EAP and was given a number to call for help with depression. I went to see a psychiatrist, during the interview he asked several times if I felt suicidal or causing harm to others. The kicker was at the end of the first meeting he asked, " so with all of that you never wanted to commit suicide?" I was mortified with the timing and way he asked the question. When he saw the look on my face he knew that was a bad question. My reply to him was, " why am I that f**ed up that I should?" He tried to say he was sorry and was trying to make a joke. Then he had the nerve to bill me for that hour which he watched his clock to make sure we ended promptly. I called my EAP again and was given another name and number to call. This woman was so concerned and caring that she called me immedaitely and spoke with me for a good 30 minutes and scheduled an appointment for me to go see her. I revealed to her my experience at the previous session and for the first few visits she asked several times about any suicidal thoughts or desires to harm anyone and explained that it was standard to make sure I was safe and those around me as well. I was diagnosed with sever depression and began taking Lexpro to deal with my depression. It helped but there were still issues with work and performance. My days began with waking up getting n the shower and laying down in the shower curled up crying because my second marriage was falling apart and I didn't want anyone to hear me crying, there was a lot of turmoil at work and people were getting fired daily so I cried about that too. My commute home was in tears while I was alone because as I wondered would today be the day my wife said she wanted a divorce. So the meds worked for depression I accepted it and moved on.

As it turned out, at the request of the school, my youngest daughter was tested and diagnosed with ADD/ ADHD was put on medication, however, she suffered from all but 2 of the possible side effects and secondary side effects. She stopped taking the meds and worked harder in school and excelled. I was discussing this with my councilor and asked if ADD was hereditary and she said it was possible and asked a series of questions about me and my parents and siad it was likely I suffered from ADD and advised I see a pshyciatrist for further testing and diagnosis. I began treatment and have been taking Concerta for the past few years with success.

Now the work part, prior to getting professional help my reviews were not very glowing, they were ok, I had my strengths and weaknesses and was given goals to reach. I love working for the company because reviews also included the question what can we do to help you succeeed. My boss would always point out each person's strengths bring them out and it felt like a team environment. So, I began taking my meds for ADD and once the meds started to work my preformance and productivity was noticably improved. My reviews contained more praise than ever before with only minor suggestions/ reccommandations to improve.

Our department had to take on a new team leader with no experience in our department's operations as compared to the way his previous department operated. I was tasked with helping him get up to speed show him how to do our job which to me was an honor and recognition of my work and dedication to the success of the local office. However, after several discussions I could tell by the look on his face he was bored and not interested in anything I had to say. After all, here is a regualr salaried employee trying to teach someone in a managerial position how to do the job clearly it was beneath him. He has been very vocal to all, his job is to make sure we do our job and find ways to make us more productive.

Bottom line, I guess is the way I am being treated, managed, talked down to, has resulted in my medication being rendered useless, it does not work as it is supposed to and according to my councilor it is directly a result of the current conditons at work. I now feel as though my ADD is going from being managed through my medication, to a worsening condition. I am completely devasted by the whole turn of events, haviong my words twisted around events distorted as well as important facts left out in order to discredit me and make it appear as incompentance on my part. If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions I would be most appreciative.

Thank you

Quote