If they treat you like a drug addict, just because you self medicated (which was a logical, rational thing to do before you were diagnosed), then tell the doctor to buzz off. My Psychiatrist understands that I did heroin as a way to avoid killing myself and after a time he came to trust me and give me access to most any drug he and I agreed would be of help. He keeps track of what he gives me and is responsible, but he doesn't label me a "drug addict" just because I took something illegal to regulate my condition at an earlier time in my life. I had been going to psychiatrist for years (I'm 38 years old) and they could never figure out that I had ADD co-morbid with Depression/anxiety. So of course I self medicated to get through life. If you doctor is in the dark ages about addiction (a.k.a. once an addict, always an addict), get rid of him or get him up to date on modern thinking about drug abuse. The old AA model of "addictive personalities" has been totally shown to be very primitive. If you'd like I can recommend some books for your psychiatrist to read so he understand you are not some "addict for life" and that he should not limit what you can take until such time as you abuse drugs under his care. If he gives you an flak, get a more enlightened psychiatrist. One psychiatrist wouldn't even see my girlfriend because she had abused drugs (she had never had money for mental health care before). Who the hell does he think are the people are who abuse drugs? Who does he think needs mental health help the most? The ones trying to self medicate of course. We are both now properly medicated and functioning on a whole different level this last year. Please do yourself a favor, and get a new psychiatrist who won't hinder your ability to get well.

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Thank you for your reply. I know exactly how you and your girlfriend feel/felt. I too was an opiate addict, thought I was just depressed or bi-polar like my mom was. I just finally figured out recently I prob. have ADD with co-morbid depression and anxiety, and react weird to sounds esp. mouth noises, (another co-morbid disorder) My current psych. is helpless and hopeless, but I want to leave on good terms. (although I really want to set him straight, went to meetings for years) Thanks for the support and encouragement. L

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Really glad to hear that post was of use. And be very happy with the fact that you are 28 and didn't have to wait another 10 years like me to get diagnosed. That's very interesting about the noises. I do that too maybe to a slightly weaker degree. When I was at my worst in college, i verbalized a lot of anxiety. Very interesting. For the record, I take Vyvanse, so much smoother than Ritalin. I felt like Ritalin made me act affected sometimes, like I was too amped up and talk too much. But I knew I was on the right track when I took that first Ritalin pill. Ritalin hits like a bell-curve so you peak in the middle and that's the time I felt my personality a little altered, a little too excited. The Vyvanse is so smooth and never takes me out of my comfort zone. Vyvanse was just on sale this last year so I'm not sure how much it will cost after December, but I'll pay whatever is necessary to get a drug that is less primitive than Ritalin. There's a coupon your doctor should have so that any prescriptions you can get filled before the end of the year for Vyvanse are only $60. So I get the 75mg pills (the strongest), pour the capsule into a predetermined amount of water, and drink half. So I take 32mg each day and save some money. Actually Vyvanse is chemically put together in such a way that you can't abuse it according to the manufacturer. Something like that. You can't shoot it or snort and there are some other features. Maybe your doctor would be comfortable with Vyvanse and you can try it at the discounted rate before the coupon expires, maybe 30 pills for November and 30 for December if you can do it in time. Best of luck.

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Yes I've heard of vyvanse, will try to get it. or daytrana patch, heard that is harder to abuse. i don't want to self-medicate anymore, i want to feel normal and be able to work again. I've tried ritalin and adderall in the past, they really work but make me sweat a lot. PS i take suboxone now, WAY better than methadone.

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You know what, email me if you don't mind. I would like to ask you about your experience in private about Suboxone. I actually take it but don't have anyone else to trade notes with about it (long term issues, what your doctor told you, some other issues). I can be reached at aperer@gmail.com. I'm assuming there's nothing wrong with me giving you my email in this way. If I broke some protocol or something, I'd like to know. Otherwise if you have a minute, I would be really curious to talk one other person who takes Suboxone as I don't know anyone else to compare experiences.

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I e-mailed you so you can contact me more privately. L

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