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Getting organized? Body double might work.
I've read a couple of books on getting organized when you have ADHD and a couple of them have recommended using a body double. What is a body double?
They are simply someone who stays in the room with you while you are working on that task that has been ignored or that you've been procrastinating starting forever and ever. The ADDer is simply to use that person as a reminder to keep working on their own task. This was something I started doing myself years ago (I'm 54 now) because I avoided some things until they were way overdue beingstarted or even finished! I just didn't know it was a 'technique' back then. Just that it worked for me.
I knew about my avoidance of tasks I hated especially with my easily wandering mind. I noticed how everyone else seemed to be able to work away for the longest time on terribly boring things. I decided I would push myself to pay attention as long as they did and then I would let myself take a break. It worked for me and I also found something else out- those people do in fact take breaks from their tasks. It turns out they are not the work-horse robots I thought they were!! It was actually liberating for me to find out that they needed breaks too.
Do you think you could slip in a suggestion to your hubby about this? Something along the lines of "Were you planning to work on those dreaded taxes tonight? I was just asking because I was going to try to do _ (insert some paperwork job that you need to do) and I sure could use some company while I'm working on this dreaded task. Perhaps I could make us both a cup of tea/coffee to drink while we're work on this stuff."
It may or may not work. I really do sympathize with you since my dear hubby ignored our taxes for nearly 8 years and you can imagine the mess that created. (An even bigger one once I found out about it!!!) I really have a hard time trusting him now when he tells me something is all taken care of. He is not even ADHD, just more interested in his professional life than his private life. And yes, I'll be working a lot more years to pay off the bill now that we have all those years of interest added to it.
The other option is to use a tax accountant. I had been pushing my husband to use one for years since I knew he always seemed too busy to get down to business on the taxes but he started telling me he had worked on them while he was out of town. Since he traveled most of the time (fly somewhere for a week to two weeks/hotel), I believed him since he had nothing else to do when gone other than more work. Since all his work is with computers and the taxes are done electronically now (or should I say, were supposed to have been), I assumed he was telling the truth.
Since I had to deal with a job and 3 kids while he was gone, I figured I could leave all the financial things like taxes in his basket. In the end, I've been a single parent to my kids since we've got no family within 2000 miles of us. With me being ADHD and with an ADHD son (with other LD), it was all I could do to hold down the fort by myself. I just wish the govt would find a way to just take what they need right from the start and if they didn't take it right away they wouldn't get it.
sigh I know that system would never work but it would be one less thing to worry about. winks
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31 Oct 2010 @ 2:38 PM
31 Oct 2010 @ 11:38 PM
