Hi NicksMom,

I can't tell you how many times I've thought about doing the same thing you're doing now. I'd love him to my 5 year old son make friends locally, and ideally in our subdivision. Since my guy is still fairly young, he has several peers from the local MOMS club we belong to, but I don't think those kids will be around forever. (I'm trying to keep my suspicions at check, but I have many reasons to believe that these kids will start to mature at a faster rate than my guy, and will son leave him in the dust socially.)

Because I'm always a planner, I've started to think about involving my son in Scouts, and I'm also going to have him join a socialization therapy group, and am hopeful that he might find some like-minded kids there. Finally, if none of these avenues work out, I'm going to post an advertisement at our local supermarket for a playgroup of kids facing similar issues. (We live in a very small town in NJ, and have a teeny tiny family-run market that everyone goes to. The market is very community-oriented and has done many things to help kids with special needs.) Last, I'm going to join the local CHADD support group, and am hopeful that maybe another parent there would be open to getting together with my son and me.

I know the heartbreak of realizing that your child doesn't have any friends. I am trying (and am not always succeeding) not to be a helicopter parent. You mentioned that your son wants to go out into the neighborhood and that you didn't feel comfortable. Take a second and think what would be the worst case scenario if he did go out into the neighborhood? Maybe he'd be rejected by some typically developing peers? Is that so bad? It could be a real learning experience for both of you, and would illustrate many of the social skills he probably desperately needs.

In the meantime, I wish you luck in finding some kids locally that fit you and your son's needs.

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I too have thought about trying to start a play group of kids with similar attention differences. But then I think about a room full of 7 yo kids that are all somewhat inflexible and can get frustrated easily and it starts to sound like a recipe for disaster. I am still toying with that idea personally.

My son is about to turn 8. He was diagnosed just after his 6th b-day. At the time, all kids were immature and he didn't have social issues very often. But now his peers have matured more and he's having a difficult time fitting in with them. It doesn't help that he is the very youngest in the entire 3rd grade -- when he started Kindergarten, his mid-October b-day was the cutoff to turn 5 and enter Kindergarten that year, now it's in August. We saw how very smart he is but didn't even suspect ADHD or LDs when we enrolled him in Kindergarten so young.

What I've done to combat immaturity problems is to group him with kids one grade below him whenever I can. For instance, he participated in a few day camps over the summer. They were all grouped by age and most put upcoming 3rd and 4th graders together. I knew he would be too immature for kids who would all be 1-3 years older than him so I put him in the age group just below. While they were a school grade behind him, they were closer in age and definitely closer in maturity and interests. It worked great! He didn't have any problems at any of the camps, not even a problem with ego or esteem being put in a younger group. He was comfortable and that was what mattered.

I am sure in Scouts and other clubs, you can ask for your child to be grouped with children one year younger and it would likely make a difference. I hope you find that idea useful too!

Penny W., ADDitudemag.com & ADDConnect.com Community Moderator

ADHD Momma to Luke, age 7

creator of the Website {a mom's view of ADHD} @ http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com

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is there any parents in birmingham with children with adhd as i am looking for organisations in my town and im finding it difficult to find any thank you xx

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