Hello, I am a 24 years old lady, with ADHD (hyperactive type, yes I know, it's not often seen) and a Single Sided Deafness, + a Maths learning disability. Wow, what a challenge working with such a medical setting + my personality ! The Single Sided Deafness prevents me to work in noisy places like restaurants, center calls etc... My ADHD and no ability to team work makes me no willing to work in a company and having meetings etc (also because ADHD and deafness makes an explosive cocktail in such a situation).

Everyone, except my mom, tried to convince me to get a universitary diploma that I couldn't complete because of undiagnosed ADHD. Studying made me so tired that after a period of 1 hour, I was sleepy and slept all afternoon. Disgusted of studies, tired of some so-told-good-friends and my father telling me that without diploma, I have no chance to manage, I had to make priorities in my life. First, my health and sanity. Then, work and social life. So first, I changed psychiatrist : from a crazy one, letting me away when there was a problem (and this is an euphemism), making believe to everyone he could that I am someone who only tells tales (of course, it was not true at all : he acted like that just because I refused to do something he told me and was harmful for me if I did it) to a psychiatrist I have a strong link of confidence. It needed patience to be built, but the important is that we could build it together : it's the basis of any relationship with a physician, whatever the specialty is. I had to cut for a year the relationship with my father. It was a very hard decision to get, but there was no other solution. And I cleaned up the so-told-good-friends from my life : now we can see clearly ! Then, I could prepare a project for going back to work/studies. I have started to legally battle to be able to get my driving licence (because ADHD patients are allowed to drive without being allowed to drive, something absolutely crazy) and I am getting some results, above any hope, and to start from mine and my mother's ones. Plus I am creating an independent activity for Linux computing assistance toward health care professionals (the vast majority of them are physicians). I am starting to get clients, and I can be also employed from a society but I work independently. Like that, my only job relationships are toward the clients, not the boss I have to satisfy but do anything to get less and less clients etc..... It started from a GP I am in contact with and was having his machine not working well at all (an hour to open a Word document or to switch off the computer). He had the choice between buying a new computer at 1,000€ (which is quite a lot of money) or switching to Linux. He chose the second option but very skeptical,only because he didn't have the 1,000€ to buy a new machine. His machine is back to life, and works well. I make all his computer maintenance. I convinced my ophthalmologist to switch to Linux. But I am employed from a society which manages only the paperwork and nothing else.

To conclude, take your time. Don't try to make a project in the rush, just to go back to work/study : it's only prone to failure. Time is not your enemy. Find your strengths and weaknesses. You are terrible at working in a team ? So be it, you can find super jobs while working alone : being more efficient when working alone is not a criminal offense, contrary to what some people may say ! And if you don't find it, then create it ! You're very good at teaching ? You can teach in a school, but you can also teach at home, you can teach to children, to adults etc... There is no panacea for work : which will work for one may not work for another. There are so many possible work settings that you'll surely find one which suits your wishes and needs :) You don't have to stay in set tracks from others : you often need to go out of the tracks to find the solution which is right for you, like I did about my computer activity. And frankly, if people stares at you and are lousy, ignore them : results will speak by themselves. Some will be back toward you and recognize that you were right, some will be jealous because you have better results than them whereas they have everything to get the same results etc.... You don't have the duty of being a socialite to be a "good" person. If you enjoy solitude and reading, that's fine ! If you prefer going out with one or two friends instead of ten, it's also fine. If you want a small Christmas celebration with only your loved ones, it's also fine. If you rather go for a walk in the nature alone than go to the gym, it's really not a problem. Don't create yourself imaginary duties : you have enough real duties from paying bills, food grocery shopping, laundry etc... not to have to clutter yourself with imaginary duties, which are created only from other people's wishes and you feel you can't refuse. If you can't stand going to your mother in law because she is only nasty toward you, say you won't go with your husband instead of accepting it just to please him. He can go alone or with the children, that's fine. Someone who truly wants your good will accept when you refuse something harmful : a "friend" who says that you have to go to the disco to please her if your ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) says no and whines because she thinks you're a bad one because you didn't go to the disco is not actually a friend. So leave her away : we are 6 billions of humans, you'll then find other friends which whom you get along better, won't you ? ;)

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