Work politics and gossip can make a great job horrible. I agree with your decisions, but I would have a plan if/ when someone finds out. If a family member is asking you what pill you are taking, chances are they may be willing to go further to find out. From the medication it wouldn't be hard to figure out who has ADD. I would have some idea of what to say, so it doesn't become a bad situation. Definitely recommend reading "driven to distraction" which goes over all this. As far as family they can be the center of gossip. I would find one family member to confide in. As much as you fear hearing the negative, it helps to have someone understand. They may already have comments at you for ADD issues and maybe it would help your actions are not intentional.

I hate to tell you this, but ADD isn't something you can beat easily and may never change. I would get a good therapist (sounds like you have someone for meds, but not much else). Get focused on making changes to help you. Look into who you see because so many therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, don't know much on ADD or really have bad advice. Sounds like you may also have a job that doesn't fit your strengths. Maybe I am different, but I get some positive responses like "how are you able to do that?" "How did you catch that?". I really believe I think outside the box and ADD helps me do that. You survived and made it before meds (most of us did, being misdiagnosed and discovering ADD late in life). If you couldn't take meds tomorrow I am pretty sure you would make it through. You probably were doing things or maybe even self medicating with coffee, etc. with out ever thinking you have ADD.

Hope this helps and you never mentioned what medication you were on. Just watch out because some have issues with addiction, blood pressure, moods, etc.

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Hey Imponderable,

Thanks for your response. I guess you are right. So far I’m not sure who understands enough in my family that I can share this with. Also, I keep my pills safe in my room. I just hope they haven’t bothered looking at it yet. And if they have then they won’t ask me about it. The day they do admit that someone went through my personal stuff to figure something out, that’s the day there will be “trouble”. Believe me when I say this, I’m not an @$$. In fact everyone in my family agrees that I’m the most understanding and accommodating person. But when it comes to a weakness like this, I guess I don’t know of a better route. As I mentioned before, after reading some of the posts here, I feel that for now it’s the most optimal solution. Once I overcome most of the things, I guess I’ll be a little more comfortable telling anyone that I have ADHD since it won’t really be a problem to deal with.

I guess you hit the nail with that comment about a COACH. I realize it now that even though I do have a psychiatrist who’s hardly able to give me half hour once in two to three months, (that too for meds only), I believe I need a proper ADD Coach. I did see someone in the past but I didn’t find her suggestions very effective (not to mention that at $120/hr… I don’t know if she was worth it). The only good thing I got introduced to through her was meditation and I’m still trying to put that in my schedule. My case with meds is a weird one. Right now I’m on Wellbutron 300 mg and Adderrall 10 mg for 2 pills every day. I can’t be consistent with taking Adderall as I feel burnt out by the third day (max, mostly its two days). So I have an extra prescription of Dexedrine and Ritallin as well. I switch between them depending on what I have planned for the day and what task’s I feel I HAVE TO accomplish. The days with Adderall are the BEST provided

-) I got my complete 8 hours of sleep the night before -) I woke up early morning for the day (8:00 AM - 9:00 AM max)

I don’t have a job yet. I recently finished my Graduate School and now I’m trying to get into the rat race. I’m trying to be selective with my job search but let’s see how long my pocket allows me to do that. The two big issues I’m going to focus on with ADD for the next little while are

-) Procrastination -) Sleeping.

Any tips/suggestions are welcome. I’m all ears :)

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I am not sure that someone in your home doesn't know that you are ADD/ADHD the reason I say this it wasn't because I told my family they figured it out after I had a fight with my husband who was c/o of the same things he always seemed to complain of. I also am very accomdating and that is a ADD/ ADHD problem we can and do take on more than we can always chew . Also I find Ritalin work better for me and Welbutrin. Be careful with ADDerall it does have some cardiac ramications andzI was take off it when my dioctor saw the heart risk I don't ever feel ADD is a libality because I can and do think outside of the box. I love to read which is very unusal for ADD but it doesn't really affect me that way. I am not into the coach thing because frankly 125.00 a hour is way too much. Most of the time we do learn our own coping techniques that fit our own lives. I hate loose paper so I have a hole puncher and I put it in binder immediately. I have automatic bill pay so I don't have to worry about bills being paid. I work two jobs and to get up and never late I set a clock about three feet away and have to get out of bed to silence it so once I'm up I'm up and haven't been late unless it was a Sunday and the train ran later then 6 :30am (3x"s in 8 months) see we all finds thing s that fit our lives it will take time but you will find your groove.

I would not tell anyone when looking for a job about ADD ; but when you take the urine test you have to list the medication you take by then it means you have the job. It no longer a libality for me and it won't be for you if you find thae things that work for you (JUdi)

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Hi Add RN (or should I say Judi??) I’m sure that somebody in my house has a bit of an idea. In fact, I already know that my sisters have had been wondering about it ever since I suggested the elder sibling that she might have ADD. Unfortunately, I was only trying to help when she suggested that it’ll be insane to go and see a SHRINK and she just doesn’t want to stick to any sort of medication. Ah well, that’s the end of it and I don’t think I’ll ever be mentioning it to her again. So that’ll be the end of it. I guess all of us in house these days are so drenched in work life that nobody pays too much attention to my meds, but more to my actions with job search, life, and (most important to them) religion.

I do feel sad especially with my brother who suggests me that every time I come up with some of the best ideas, there’s no follow through. I show an extreme amount of interest in a certain subject but there’s never complete action in it. I tend to astray away from following up with it to its full extent. I hate disappointing him the most in my life.

I ‘m glad that you found your niche on how to live your life with it. I’m still trying to figure out mine. I’ve started accessing a lot of the resources online and started sharing all my experiences on my blog not only for me to keep a track of things, but also to share them with others. As I mentioned before, the two things of focus right now are

-) avoiding procrastinaton -) being able to sleep on time.

However, as of now, yeah, this thing will be a secret from my immediate family. If anyone has any thoughts on why I shouldn’t do this, please do share. I have no idea what I’m going to do if/when I decide to get married. It won’t be easy sharing something like this with someone who’s gonna be such an important part of me for the rest of my life.

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I do hope you do find your niches it takes time to find what works for you. Sleep is the most of the difficult thing never slept when was a child as teen or now as a parent and adult. I have to take meds to sleep no matter how tired I am the mind just won't shut up long enough so I will close my eye. Now when getting married hopefully you will have discussed this with your spouse to be long before you are asking and walking down the isle. I can see if you don't the unfinished idea, and other things will get in the way. Marriage is hard enough without advoiding things are spouses should know and marriage is very hard for ADD/ADHD Call me Judi

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Hello, Keeping ADHD as a secret is, for me, a completely false good solution. It pays in the short term, but not in the long term.

If a "friend" uses this weakness against you, then drop him and move on : he is not a true friend. Stay away from people like that. Same with your family : start to put themselves at their place telling, for example : "my health is my own business, not yours" or, more simply : "mind your own business". Mom does it when I say to her something she is wrong, I immediately put her at her place harshly telling her that my GP and psychiatrist are old enough to make their job. Make respect yourself : being and AD/HD doesn't mean you have no value and that everything you do has to be blamed on AD/HD. When someone does it, I put him at his place and if it doesn't work, drop him like an old dirty sock. Believe me or not, it's the only mean I found to be around people who truly help me, with whom I have good relationships despite my double disability (see my signature).

A "friend" brought me to the disco whereas my ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) doctor forbids me to do so. The day after, having a very bad tinnitus and increased hypersensitivity to noise to the point I couldn't type to my keyboard. I went right away to the ER, I was put under meds and told that I was nearly hospitalized. The "friend" complained because she couldn't stay with her friends. The decision was simple to make, but hard to accept : I have to drop her, she is not a friend as she claims to be.

You deserve respect, but earning the respect you deserve from others by hiding your disability won't help : earlier or later, the truth shows up. As we say in Italian : "le bugie hanno le gambe corte", lies have short legs. Make yourself respect by putting people at their own place and, if needed, drop them : it's a question of your sanity. Since I did that and gave up the way of doing you describe, I am in a much better sanity even if I lose some people around me. But I earned true friends and healthy relationships with my family and anyone around me.

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@ADD RN

Hi Judi,

Sleep is a “hard” one for me. It’s the biggest issue right now. I also hope I can turn the motor off somehow when needed. So far, my psychiatrist has prescribed a 7.5 mg Zopiclone which just calms me down enough to fall asleep. While I don’t mind the med, I hate taking it every night. Sometimes, looking at the number of meds I have, I feel like junkie :P. But I’m hoping there’s a better way than this medication. I have tried ALL THE things typically suggested such as, turn off the computer 2 hours before sleep, taking a shower, drinking warm milk, etc. Nothing works.

Now IF (and it’s a VERY BIG “IF”) I try meditation and am able to do it successfully, then I’m able to fall asleep fast and get the sleep I wish I had every day.

I know about the struggle with marriage. My father had adhd and it went undiagnosed (I know and realize it now). My parents got divorced and I’ve seen the whole nine yards of BAD THINGS in a marraige. That’s why I’ve put marriage off to side for now. Till this ADHD comes under control (assuming it can’t go away), I have decided to focus more on my career and finances (which is another mess).

Thanks for all the useful advice. Please do share any other tips you have :).

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