Oh hun I feel for you I am going through the exact same thing with one of my 3 year old sons. The tantrums, disruptive behavior, the potty training, doing dangerous things, bullying.....all of it. I wish I had an answer for you but all I can do is empathize. We still have been unable to find a dr. who will help us. I wish you the best of luck....

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As someone who is struggling with ADHD raising a possible 2nd generationer, I have uttered that phrase, "at my wit's end" more than once in the last 2.5yrs. I truly am, many days, at my wit's end with the defiant, disobedient, hyper behavior. I took my daughter for an evaluation when she was 1.5 because her speech was delayed and I was worried that we weren't bonding properly. They simply said she was slightly delayed with her speech. I took her again a month or so ago, and they said she is 6-8mos delayed. I took her to a child psychologist (who only met with her once, and met with us 3 times) and the dr. told me she probably has sensory integration disorder. I'm not sure what the common symptoms are for toddlers (as most Drs won't diagnose ADHD until at least 3 or 4, as you mentioned) but here are some "issues" we have had since birth: very fussy baby w/acid reflux for 9 months, crying as soon as she woke up as a baby, resistance to sleep and then difficulty sleeping through the night consistently until about 24mos, tantrums and crying almost every time we need to change her diaper or get her undressed or dressed, running fast and then turning and running fast back into us or the couch, constant crying and screaming in the car rides (we have a commute), disobedient and even aggressively so. HYPER, DISOBEDIENT BEHAVIOR WHEN SHE'S TIRED. I could go on, but if you have an older child who was diagnosed, could you please share what your experience with them was like from birth until age 3? What behavior seemed abnormal to you and later you realized it may have been early symptoms of ADHD? Please help. I have tried everything - timeouts, redirecting (hah!), etc. and NOTHING works. This is my first (and only?) child and I have little to compare her to. I realize some of this is normal toddler behavior, but we seem to rarely have a good day with her which is not tainted by this behavior and the frustration I am left with. I want to help her.

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Spanking and other behaviour changing punishments will not work. Positive rewards have worked great w/ my 10 yr old. Before meds he was attacking other kids and was impossible. His behaviour is due to disease not bad behaviour. This is something that we, as parents, have to realize. ADHD is not different from other disease like Cerebral Palsy or something. You will find that as they start meds, and change your attitudes, that things will get better. Punishing ADHD kids makes things worse. Have you and husband thought about going to Behaviour Therapist to learn how to help your son ? They don't teach child how to behave they teach you how to behave so you can help your child. It's a totally different outlook...It worked great w/ my son.

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