Hey, I think I understand exactly what you're saying. I used to feel just you. In fact, I still often do. I suppose I'm sorta lucky, I have a set of friends that are really easy going (and mostly made up of people who also have social/psych issues). It's a bit easier to get through all the weird messing up bits with "normal" outside people 'coz I know I've got my mates who'll laugh it off and move on. also, pretending not to care helps a great a deal

Quote

It's kind of a shock to realize what others think of us sometimes. I know I do extremely well at some parts of my job and then there are those areas that could use improvement, but what I have the hardest time dealing with is that never ending feeling of not fitting in. I go through many days thinking all is well and suddenly I come to realize that how I see things can be very different than how my coworkers/boss/company does. I keep trying to do the right thing, but it seems I can't get it quite right, like I don't fully understand the language. I'm not sure what to do about it besides joke that I'm from another planet sent here to learn a lesson and hopefully I'll be going home soon. This really takes a toll on our self esteem. No matter how much positive self talk we use, there's always another incident to make us want to apologize or kick ourselves for being so stupid. I like myself more than I ever have, but I still can't figure out how to survive in a work or social situation without experiencing this too often. ugh. Does it at least help to know you're not alone?

Quote

Faith,

Frankly, most ADHDers can benefit from psychotherapy or counseling. In fact, most of us desperately need it because our condition has blocked friendships, sabotaged jobs, caused a lot of pain--and a lot of that pain still operates and blocks even if we start treatment.

Also, ADHDers are often at a disadvantage socially. I am very friendly and outgoing and yet as I have learned more about ADHD, I see how it has disrupted my ability to connect with people. Part of this is because our brains simply take in so so much and we often can't read the body language of others. Our brains focus on information that is useless while missing information that is important.

I have an excellent therapist and we work on all of this stuff ... and she's been a tremendous help. It's sort of like social skills that come naturally to other people--I have to officially sit down and learn and study them. These social skills don't come naturally to me.

Good luck.

Phillyman

Quote

I work in a very people oriented area and it more difficult for me to relate to my co-workers not the patients. I tend to listen to the patient very well. I think i just don't have any thing in common with the staff I work with and frankly I am so tired to say I am sorry so I tend to think the F U word and ignore them. I think the previous blogger is right . I never expect to fit in ; and really stopped caring to do so .

Quote

Sorry, I just wrote a novel for you and accidentally hit the wrong key and erased it all. AAAAACCCCCKKKKK!!!!!

I don't have another 30 minutes here now, but I want you to get these main points.

FORGIVE YOURSELF by writing down all those sorrows, then BURNING THEM!!! You can start fresh and new now!

Then turn that HYPERFOCUS on helping you be a BETTER YOU!!!!

Start a 15 minute daily habit of going to this website to find an article to read that addresses an issue you feel is something you will be dealing with that day. Write the main bullet points down in a JOURNAL and at the end of the day write your feelings about how you applied the new understandings about ADD and coping techniques to your life. Notice how this is a chance to CELEBRATE your accomplishments! Or at least fine tune those techniques. But you are moving FORWARD!

One thing that truly helped me understand how special we with ADD are is a term you might not have heard of, because it isn't a medical term. Google "Indigo Adult" and read about this personality type. While this idea is kinda different... well, WE are Different! And this website celebrates those differences by showing how you can overcome that earlier awkwardness in life and learn to SOAR!

Send me personal messages if you'd like, Faith. And know YOU can change this. I've had to a few times and it's always exciting taking on a new challenge. Just make that challenge efforts that can help YOU!!!

Reg

Resiliency is an AWESOME ADD trait and you can use it to pull yourself out of that horrible pit we have all been in and start again. EVERY DAY IS A CHANCE FOR A DO-OVER!!!! ;O

Quote

Hey folks! Check it... I finally dragged my but to a shrink and guess wut??ADHD!!! Who would've thought??? It's SUPER HARD to grasp at first. Considering I don't know how many of my natural ways I've suppressed or changed because everyone convincing me I was doing something wrong.. anyway I've trailed off the subject. SORRY.....hahaha..good segway huh? Check it... I am SORRY about 1billion times a day!!!! So much so I begin saying I'm sorry for saying I'm sorry!! I'm sorry I made us late. I'm sorry I had to run back inside cuz I forgot something...grabbed something else....realized I forgot the first thing..and go back in again...SORRY! I'm sorry my clothes are evrywhere and I just can't seem to put them away...but I can sit and read ADHD articles on the internet.... I'm SORRY I stay up late and don't go to bed when you do..... It's MY time... I'm SORRY when I do get to bed I toss and turn and bother you...I'm SORRY I can't drag my butt outta bed in the morning....I'm SORRY I talk so fast ..I'm SORRY I constantly interrupt you when you're speaking....I'm SORRY I can't remember what you just said...I'm SORRY I forgot your bridesmaid dress...I told you I shouldn't be the one in charge of it....I'm SORRY I forgot to call...I really didn't..I thought of calling you, picked up my phone, and remembered another phone call I had to make...OOPS!!!!!!!!!! etc etc etc etc... It's REALLY not on purpose and no DAD I'm not an A$$HOLE cuz I forget stuff...No I'm not retarded cause you had to ask me 4 times before I understood what you wanted... ever stop to think you don't explain yourself very well??????????? We're just so darn smart we don't understand all the simple minded folks out there!! :)

Quote

Hey Faith,

I hear you! And recommend a site that allows you to meetup with people just like you, who won't make you feel stupid or anything. It's meetup.com it's an online meeting place people go to find local venues of interest. People in your local town you can hang out with.

I'm telling you this, because 2 years ago I was in your shoes, but then found the site and have since made a dozen really good friends and several more dozen casual friends. Through the friends I've found via that site, I know have a lot more confidence, I'm able to joke around with people without fearing feeling stupid, and I've actually gone to dances and actually danced the night away. Further more, all of that has helped me get better grades in college.

So again, I totally know what it's like to be made to feel stupid...and while a therapist can provide some help, what you truly need is to find like-minded people. You don't have to take my word for it, actually I'd prefer you researched this on your own so you feel better about it. But again the site is meetup.com and you can check them out at wikipedia.org or bbbonline.org <-better business bureau. Or any other online research site.

The main thing is too not become isolated, because once your isolated, it's that much harder to get back out there...I should now. :-)

Quote