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I have been there!
I have a simliar situation, when I was young, myself and my brothers ADD was addressed by teachers and my parents would not accept that not only did we greatly suffer from it, they refused even when our family doctor suggested that maybe we would benefit from ADD meds, at one point they did actually start me on anti-depressants when at their absolute wits end with my ODD, especially after I was kicked out of the regular school into someting we know as today as an Alternative High School. However my Mother was never able to consistantly administer the medication (more on that in a minute!)
My Mother with the help of my ADHD Denier aunt did not belive that the condition exists except very rarely, and 95% of people on it don't need to be or are drug abusers. I did ok in college, because I could take courses which interested me and at times of the day that worked best for my attention span. My hyperfocus tended to work to my benefit in some situations, and I had enough coping strategies to get me through the day, until I could self medicate- something I had been doing since 7th grade.
When I decided to FINALLY do whatever it took to get help, my husband was not on board with me taking amphetamines on a daily basis. He is very anti-drug and wont even take a motrin if hes suffering. After about a week being on Adderall, he wholeheartadly apologized for doubting me. I am easier to get along with, more able to focus and concentrate, and my breakdowns are a thing of the past.
Now back to my mother... I was very angry with her, especially after getting help and medication. For denying me the help I needed. My life is so much easier now, and I felt I struggled all those years for no reason when help was easily availble. But thanks to being able to focus and see things in a different light, I realize my mother is EXACTLY like me. From not being able to give me consistant medication when it was prescribed, to her disorganization, temper, impulsive thinking, blurting out, highs and lows, forgetfulness. As a kid I was ALWAYS the last picked up from sports or school, I can't tell you how many times I had to walk home from the ice rink a mile away with a 20 lb hockey bag becasue I finally realized I wasnt gettting picked up. I don't know if this is the case for you, but I think you might see some of the things you suffer from in your mother, or maybe someone else close to her. And she is in denial, because If she see's herself in you, admitting you have a problem means that she has to confront her problem. There are so many misconceptions about ADHD, that her view of it may not gel with what you suffer from. Maybe you don't fit the stereotype of the naughty boy, fidgeting and running in circles, and we now know there are so many differnt ways this can effect people.
My suggestion to you is get help no matter what. Talk to your academic advisor ASAP, he or she can direct you on what resources they have to help you. If you have a student health center, go there as well. You can always get your prescriptions off your mothers insurance and pay it yourself. And I assure you, If you don't have a job now and can't afford it, there are other ways around this but you have to do it yourself. I can see that you are alot like me and you are using your mothers resistance to avoid confronting it on your own. I always have avoided having to do things myself, whether it be making doctors appointments or ordering pizza until I adressed my ADHD. Good Luck.
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4 Jul 2010 @ 12:10 PM
5 Jul 2010 @ 9:55 AM