I LOVE this book, really I do! Laura's given me permission to post the famous closing chapter her, the one about archeologists 10,000 years from now, studying our culture, and the questions they may ask about how we handled ADD/ADHD. Since she is letting me post that chapter here, I'm going to encourage you to visit her site, in return. Sign up for the free newsletter, and the RSS for the free 52 week program. It costs nothing! And you will love it! (the book, of course, costs something if you buy it. BUt right now you get the last chapter free!). The site is www.letsgetfittofocus.com

9. Order From Chaos: Greater Clarity and More Joy in the ADD/ADHD Home

Thank you for reading along to the end. It is my hope that you have learned to question your choices and actions, measuring them against your organizing principle. It is my deep belief that if you do this, and practice the art of Addition by Subtraction, honoring your organizing principle on the highest level, you will find greater clarity and joy in your life. I also believe your family life will improve, as a greater sense of order and purpose surfaces, as you move beyond chaos.

I believe you will discover a new-found sense of freedom as you leave a cluttered and distracted life behind you.

I think this is especially important for families struggling with ADD/ADHD. However I think the message is relevant for everyone within our culture. Much as you feel your child may be distracted, the reality is that most of us are distracted, continually. It is a side-effect of living in a consumer-driven culture, where advertisers and seemingly everyone around us encourages us to buy our way to happiness. How can we make good decisions when it seems like every advertiser and every opportunity promises us a better life for ourselves, and for our children? How can we turn down a product or opportunity that will make our children brighter, smarter, or happier?

What no one tells us is that if we take up these multiple opportunities, we will begin to drown under the weight of it all. We will lose sight of our very lives as we spiral down into the chaos of rushing from one obligation to another, purchasing and endless stream of ‘necessary’ items, and then purchasing more items to help us just try to somehow organize and keep track of it all.

The real secret is perhaps this: Everything was already perfect to begin with. You have been blessed with life. With a beautiful family. If you are living in our culture at this time, and were able to purchase this book, I’ll assume you are also blessed with having food on your table, and a roof over your head. You have so much. More importantly, you have instant access to joy at any given moment of your life. It is all right there before you. All you have to do is open your eyes to the love available to you at any given moment, from the family you work so hard to support. Or to the opportunities that surround you.

Self-help books have become the rage in modern times. However, I’ll never forget the moment my son looked at my book shelf and asked, ‘Hey mom, why do you have all these self-help books? What could possibly be so wrong with anyone that they’d need books like this?’ Ah, out of the mouths of babes!

He had a point though, didn’t he? How is it that this culture has brainwashed us to be convinced that if we don’t conform to the status quo, there must be something wrong with us?

I have often wondered what archeologists some 10,000 years in the future will say about our culture. Will they marvel at the idea that at one point in time people, ‘Drugged their kids to fit in better at school and in life, rather than figure out why those systems were failing to reach them and serve their needs?’

I ask myself frequently, is it really that there is something wrong with us, or our children, or simply that not everyone conforms to one ideal?

What if, rather than try to live life the way Norman Rockwell depicted or Martha Stewart heralds, we instead take the time to personally take deep stock of our own lives, and ask ourselves, ‘What would suit ME, and MY FAMILY?’ What if we asked those questions, rather than try to jump through hoops to make ourselves, and our families, be something we feel we are ‘supposed’ to be?

When we buy or sign up for things that don’t truly fit within our organizing principle, what we are doing is signing up for a fantasy. We are saying, “Yes, this imaginary image you are throwing at me sounds great, let me sign up!” Only later when it is too late do we have ‘buyer’s remorse.’ Only then do we realize that we wasted our time and life moments (time spent purchasing, maintaining, much less working to earn the money to do so) in pursuing that illusion. If only we had recognized the perfection that is ourselves, and our family, at any given moment.

Please, look at your family today and marvel at how wonderful they are. Be grateful for the beautiful moments you are blessed with. They are far too fleeting and far too precious to bemoan. Don’t waste another single moment of your precious life worrying about organization or other technique that isn’t designed to support you and your family, in living the highest quality life possible. Life – yours and those of your family – is far too precious a resource to waste feeling bad about yourself.

Start questioning your actions and decisions today, and don’t stop. Every last thing you do should be done to support you in creating the best life possible. If you do this, never again will you struggle with organizational issues, clutter, or the stress of over-scheduling. Never again will you feel uncertain about what to buy, or what activities to sign up for, because you will have a bar against which to measure it. And that bar will be tailored to you, not to what some icon has said your life should be about.

Don’t listen to anyone – not even to me. Only you can truly know what is best for you and your family. I can only give you ideas and suggestions. No one in the world knows you or your family like you do. No one knows better just how awesome you are! So take that inner knowing and use it to create the best life possible. And if at any moment you feel a sense of doubt about what to do next, stop, take a deep breath, and ask yourself some questions. Make them the highest quality questions possible, and you will find the best answers for you.

Joy, peace, and harmony are yours for the taking, as you turn chaos into order. When you’ve done so, stand tall, and smile big. You deserve it. You, my friend, will be living the life uncommon, and you will be doing it well.

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