I know for me it needs to be written down in my calender. I get sidetracked very easily but if it is written down on a particular day I can remember to do it. Also I seem to let it get so bad that I do the perfectionist thing and focus way to much on say cleaning the bathroom. Maintenance is a tough one for me. I also know that my house will always be a bit dirtier and messier than my friends. But i'm more fun!

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Well it takes me days to clean just one room I start with all the loose paper and shred; but truthfully I let my husband do it he cleans so much better he is organized something I have major problems with cleaning I get so distracted and frankly I hate loose paper so It just becomes a real mess rather wash clothes and fold etc things like that big easy to get done things. My desk right now looks like a disorganized mess Paper and books all on top of it.

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What really sucks about it is, I don't have people over as much, or let the kids have friends over as much, because it's so messy. I would like to get on an easy, low key, housecleaning schedule. I don't understand how other moms do it, really. When I go to other people's houses, they are neat and clean. I'd like a sort of easy formula of what to do to keep it from getting out of control.

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It would be nice to wake up in the morning to a clean house, rather then fighting 5 and 3yr olds and a disaster house. I am still trying to figure out a schedule and a way to keep focused and work out what needs doing. The one thing I have found useful is whiteboards and cork boards for papers. I have a big whiteboard to write down important reminders, like a return I need to make to a store. Something that needs doing as soon as I can but does not have to be done that day. Then pick a time in the week and write in the calender to have something from that list ticked off. I also have another smaller whiteboard that I write 2-3 tasks on at a time only. Once those are complete then have a timed break and write the next 2-3 tasks up on the whiteboard (called my focus board with focus in bold across the top!). Lots of people recommend timers, I find I snooze/ignore them or reset them. :S

I do like the idea of the hot spots for flylady, so just 10-15mins a a particular area that gets bad. Have a special box/basket in each area so pick up things that need to go in a different room/zone. That means you won't get distracted by going into another area of the house to put something away. For really quick spot cleans have another basket/box (something decorative) to throw in things off the floor that do belong in that room/zone that needs to be sorted but can be dealt with later. Once you have those basics covered in each room/zone then pick one area to start sorting the basket of what needs to go in each area/room and then take the basket with other room/zone items and put those away.

Pick your worst area and make sure you cover that hotspot once a day. Others just do one each day.

Break it down doing a room or zone and then have a drink or play with kids etc.

As for germ/bacterial cleaning I use the wipes to go over the toilet with when I think of it, use microfibre cloths to wipe down sinks/baths/showers very quickly after each use to help limit scum so then more intense cleaning does not have to be so often. Just nominate an intense clean day, break it down into times and do what you can within a specified time and then have a break. Timers help some. Oh and sticky notes, if you are in the middle of doing something and see something else that will pull you away, stop, write it on a sticky note and stick it there. Finish what you are doing.

Daily i would say kitchen dishes and clear benches helps you feel calmer. I don't shine my sink! A load of clothes washing on or a load put away.

Figure out what you think is important for weekly/fortnightly. Like floors, vacuum, shower etc. Just add to your list as you tackle the smaller lists. Start small, build confidence, and relax.

Another thing I agree with in flylady is taking care of yourself first, having a shower, putting on some moisturizer or whatever will start your day with some kind of boost. Devotion, relaxation, even for 5mins.

Hope this has helped. Now I actually need to follow what I have just advised! EEK Did i mention I have been researching this a lot lately and have spent so much time trying to figure things out that I still have a messy house. oops. I have done the whiteboards and cork board though and need to actually prioritize things now and stop trying to make a full list and start small!

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I take a mental picture of what the kitchen counters look like when they're clean and try to remember what it looks like. When the actual kitchen looks too little like the mental picture, and the kitchen counters are cluttered with stuff that doesn't belong, usually mail that needs sorting and toys and dirty dishes, I know I need to take action.

I try to not go to bed with a sink full of dishes, but I can't always force myself to do the dishes right after dinner. I at least put the dirty dishes, like plates cups and silverware, in the dishwasher and put it throug ha rinse cycle so the food doesn't get stuck on while waiting for more dishes to fill it up, and get the pots and pans soaking in the sink -- not around the sink or on the stove, but IN the sink. Otherwise, I'll somehow forget about them.

For the mail and paperwork, I schedule an on-the-fly 5 minutes to throw away ads, toss letters to file in a biiiiiig box that I should really get around to filing someday, stuff coupons into my coupon binder. I have my son collect his stuff and toss it into his room/black hole. Then I wipe down the kitchen counters with a Lysol wipe. I have dark counters, so I usually just wipe where I know someone's been preparing food.

We have ceramic burners, so that makes it tons easier to clean the top of the stove than electric burners. It takes about 10 minutes to clean at its very dirtiest. I honestly didn't do a very good job of cleaning the electric burners when we had them -- stuff got stuck under them in the drip pans. Looking back, it was too inefficient. Wish I had a better tip for you on that.

I timed myself emptying the dishwasher once, and that took about 10 minutes too. I still hate doing it, but with practice, I've gotten more efficient at doing it.

We vacuum the kitchen floors once a week, making sure to get under theedges where the crumbies like to hide.

Every time I fill my car up with gas, I gather up all the trash. Sometimes it takes us a while after the car is full to put all the trash in the trash cans, and people sometimes get impatient, but they'll just have to wait! I'm cleaning my car, dang it!

Hope this helps!

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It does help! Thank you SO MUCH, you guys. I really appreciate it. I have a really rough time doing the dishes after dinner, but i know that's the key.

Wouldn't it be great if there was an A.D.D. List of Weekly Household Chores online? Like, one made up by the A.D.D. experts, made simple and not overwhelming. I know many, many women have trouble keeping house with ADD.

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Hey there! Read most of your blog & see we are all pretty much on the same wavelength. Tried Fly Lady myself & had to unsubscribe eventually so as not to drown in the onslaught of helpful hints. Learned plenty from her, especially limiting task time to 15 min sessions. We usually burn out & go off to many other things by then. Found I could manage 15 mins at a time much better. I keep Lysol treated cleaning wipes, paper towels, shower spray, microfiber cloth in bathroom for continuous pick up cleaning. Use bleach toilet tabs & frequent swish w/brush. Have supply of plastic bags from shopping to empty upstairs trash bins about every other am to bring downstairs when going to feed {2 cats, 1 dog, 1 parrot} before leaving for work. Cats eat on raised shelf in cellar so dog doesn't explode from grazing. I try to pick up their wet food dish, clean it & leave on washing machine where it air dries & is ready tro use next am. Small, but incredibly helpful organizational tool, I find. Paper clutter is my downfall. Like laundry so constant, but not as predictable. Am cutting down on magazine subscriptions toto eventually recycle or help lessen the load. Don't have enough time to read all I get & try to hold on to read only to give away unread! Using shredder, leave it in kitchen where we read most of our mail, great tool when used.

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Found that it had some helpful suggestions tried cleaning some but I got distracted . Need to go to be for a class tomorrow for work 12 hours so the mess will last at least wo -three more day I am tired but just can't sleeep I need to take another pill so I will fall off jsut stinks how hard sometimesADD is no matter I wouldn't rtrade my brain for anyone else I just wish I could organize and sleep two of the most difficult thing in my life.

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Hi, my fellow AD/HDers! :D

I was dx'd with ADHD 12 years ago during my senior year in high school. Being a Professional Organizer, I have learned a lot of ways to organize those with and without ADD and ADHD, myself included.

For myself, I do the following things: - Write EVERYTHING down. Our brains aren't meant to hold every thought, appointment, conversation, etc. If it's important, get it out of your head and onto paper. I use sticky notes, a notebook that I carry in my bag, a daily planner (I use a pencil because our worlds are ever-changing), and a huge dry-erase board. We can't be expected to remember everything!

- Label it. How do you know what's in that box? That folder? Those binders? With how much distraction takes away our precious (and ever-fleeing) time, we don't HAVE the time to take down those boxes, open them up, and see what's in them - we'll never get back to what we were doing. So, I label everything. On my desk, I have file bins labeled "Incoming," "Outgoing," and "Shred."

- Keep like things together. Continuing with the above regarding the file bins that I keep on my desk, I also keep my shredder there as well, directly above my trash barrel. It really flows, giving me more time and less clutter:

I get the mail, looking through it quickly. With items I need to attend to later, I put them in my standing "Incoming" file bin. With junk mail, I either put it in my "Shred" file bin, or if I have the time, I shred it right then and there. I also keep my checkbook, stamps, return address labels, and envelopes at my desk (lots of cubbies), so with "Outgoing" mail that needs checks sent, I prepare it there, and place it in the proper file bin until it is time to go into the mailbox.

- Sock elves. Where do they come from? Why do they eat our socks?? You know what I'm talking about - there were 2 matching socks that went into that last load of laundry, but when the dryer buzzed, only one sock made it out alive. For this problem, I keep a small basket next to the washer/dryer on the shelf, so when the missing sock mysteriously reappears, I already have its mate.

These are just a few things that have helped me... hope they help someone else!

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Thank you for the very helpful and practical suggestions. I need all the help I can get.

I had a good laugh at your sock note. My big problem is gloves. Every winter I buy several pair -- always black and leather hoping I can mix and match them. Last winter I was very determined and got all my gloves together in one big pile. I discovered that I had 11 for the left hand and 2 for the right hand -- and still didn't have a matching set!

Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself!

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i have spent years trying to overcome the same problem. My number one rule is to simply go around the house everyday and put all the rubbish in a bag and then put the bag in the garbage immediately!! It's all less overwhelming once this is done. You only need to do one thing differently, the rest will follow in time.

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I replied to Autumn Nights separately, but here's a web site you might want to check out. It's new and it's free. It's called House Honcho and found at Househoncho.com. Each night (six days a week) she send out a list of cleaning/organizing tasks for the next day. By picking only 3 tasks, she swears your house will change dramatically. Each day she focuses on a different room. No pressure. ONE daily email. She has a good blog too. I find it's perfect for ADDers.

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Thank you for your supportive responses. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only mom who has this problem. I hate it.

Arkypam -- thank you for p.m.'ing me! I didn't know you did until you mentioned it here, and so I went to check my private maile here. : ) I'll go over and look at House Honcho now.

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I downloaded and printed uot f few sheets from FlyLady. I didn't registr for any emails. Her Ideas a organized by sections of day. I read it many times unforturnately I lost the sheets but i do remember these items.

I always leave my keys in the same place---it's a bitch when I forget.

If I have dirty dishes I make sure that I wash the dishes in the evening so I will wake up to a clean sink. I put away the pots and pans in the AM and the dishes in the afternoon.

I make my bed every morning. When I walk into my room during the day I am pleaseantly surprised each time that my bed is made!!!! Once you do these few things for a few weeks you can add one or two more items. However don't over do it -it takes a while to remake new good habits.

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Me too, everythinghousecleaning makes me feel overwhelmed, ashamed, and not-good-enough. :(

I don't have much advice, but two things I've noticed that have helped lately are tying the chores to a project (don't we LOVE a good project! lol!) and timing how long it takes to do something... dishes for 15 minutes, I can handle :). I LOVE the idea of a simple, short basic house maintenance list you could just check off weekly. I use the SimpleLiving grocery list (from Target), and that has really helped.

ugh, hang in there... I'm sure our families treasure our energy and enthusiasm a lot more than ourclean floors! :)

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CarrieR -- I know, right? A simple to-do list for ADHD'ers would be awesome. I'd check it off each day, etc... Maybe I'll have to make one for myself. Anyway, I feel that way about housecleaning, too -- not good enough, etc... And worse, it isolates me from people I don't want to be isolate from. I want to have a "stop over" house, where people can stop over at the spur of the moment. Not a "perfect" house, just picked up and normal looking.

PO with ADD -- I like your ideas about writing down, labeling, and sock finding. I have real problems with the daily mail and things coming home from school. I don't have a system so they quickly pile up and then I end up throwing a lot of things away or putting them all in a box.

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ADD RN said: Found that it had some helpful suggestions tried cleaning some but I got distracted . Need to go to be for a class tomorrow for work 12 hours so the mess will last at least wo -three more day I am tired but just can't sleeep I need to take another pill so I will fall off jsut stinks how hard sometimesADD is no matter I wouldn't rtrade my brain for anyone else I just wish I could organize and sleep two of the most difficult thing in my life.

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I went to the doctor yesterday and told him that with chronic pain of fibromyalgia and stress of full time job that I was no longer able to function. He is the first doctor that really made me feel like I needed to be on ADD med. I have tried a couple before but not with great success. I am hoping after I get the prior auth to get this new med that I will do a little better. The current guy that I have dated for a long time told me i am the worst house cleaner he has ever seen. It is a long distance relationship since my move and he hasn't even seen how bad it is now. I can relate to wanting to have someone over but not because the house is a mess. Mine is worse than it has ever been. I also had tried flylady at one point over the years but found the numerous emails to be just too many. I bougt the watch minder 2 and the batteries lasted a day in it. It was horrible to program. I should have sent it back, but being ADD ,,, I put it off until too late.

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What a great thread! As I have only been officially diagnosed 6 weeks ago, I am eagerly reading up on everything I can find. Been on meds. for about 3 weeks and too early for me to notice much difference yet.

I'm a 56 yr young female, no kids with a very fun, loving supportive husband, so I've managed to fly beneath the radar somewhat with my inattentive type ADD. For me things came to a head when a few health issues seem to crop up together like menopause, bipolar diagnosis 3 years ago as mood swings I had experienced for ever seemed to get worse then throw in hypothyroidism caused by an auto immune disease called Hashimoto's disease topped it off. No wonder the ADD was hard to diagnose as so many conditions have similar symptoms. Even after all the previous conditions were addressed, there was still that intuitive feeling that there was something else. I remember being in my early 20's and going to a course on Procrastination and it has been a burden my entire life. So many wasted opportunities. But no use looking back.

So it is such a comforting feeling to find a "tribe" I relate to.

Regarding housework I had to giggle as I empathised with what everyone has written. I have wasted so much energy worrying about why housework was such a big drama for me and why I couldn't just get on with it like most people I knew. I never understood how I could be brilliant in some areas, especially if it was a new and exciting project, but could get so overwhelmed at the thought of doing simple housework. It all makes so much sense now. Even when I do it, there is never a feeling of satisfaction as it never seems up to date. In fact the more I do, the more depressed I feel. I have in the past had housekeepers, and I used to scurry around tidying up before I went to work and on returning home and finding the housecleaner had done their job, did I feel a sense of satisfaction.

We retired a few years ago and started travelling in a caravan for up to 4 months at a time. I noticed how less overwhelmed I was with only a small area to keep clean and tidy as I was forced to keep things in there place. When we sold a large house in the city for a tree change, we chose a tiny cottage with only 1 bedroom and separate self contained bungalow set in a peaceful bush setting. I no longer had the stress of "pop in" visitors but I still seemed to let things get out of hand and when we were expecting visitors, the old stressful feelings returned as I rushed around to get things looking presentable, just the same as when we lived in a large, double story house with 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. So it is definitely not the size of the house, or whether I was working or had pets to care for, I realised it was just the way I was wired. What takes me hours and hours to do in a stressful state, takes my hubby only an hour!

The amount of lists, spreadsheets and strategies I've tried to set up to try to help me get some routine, then lost interest in, my latest is a book I bought with tips on housework, but alas I still revert to "OMG visitors are coming, do a quick rush around and stuff things out of sight!"

So I'll see if I can implement some of the tips here.

Looking forward to learning more from this forum and accepting myself more instead of beating myself up. May life be more productive and enjoyable.

Bye for now.

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but then I live with my ADHD (among other things) hubby and nearly grown ADHD daughter. All three of us work, my husband a constant swing shift, my daughter is also a full time college student, and I indulge in a book club/writing class to find sanity each week. We have 4 pets in the house and at some point I think we just reached the conclusion that even though it drives me insane for everything not to be spotless and perfect that I'm outnumbered by them and we are all outgunned. I'm not really proud of it but there it is. We have clean clothes, dishes make it in and out of the dishwasher, the animals get fed and watered and if life isn't perfect well then sorry . I do still stress myself out because my dad is a total neat freak and my mom is just shy of ending up on "Hoarders" (in case you hadn't guessed they are divorced) ... I keep telling myself that as long as I don't slide too far towards her end of the spectrum (in more ways than one actually) I'll be fine, so that is what I strive for.

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When I first read this thread, I didn't really pick up on the Flylady site, but I noticed it from some other source recently so took that as a sign to take a closer look and joined last week.

It's working well so far and I just delete each night any emails I haven't read to avoid getting overwhelmed. I got a good one the other day that was talking about ADD and using many of the tips Flylady suggests. I've bookmarked Househoncho.com for if/when the novelty of this wears off but my intentions are to stick with it for at least 30 days to allow for some good habits to stick.

Although I did have my first fight with hubby over it last night! When I reminded him (nicely.. to do a general tidy up around his chair before going to bed, i.e.take out cup and not leave it on the shiny sink but in the new bowl placed in the cupboard underneath, put away books and magazines on floor and fix up arm covers on chairs that had slipped) he got all grumpy and used the old " stop nagging" line! I won't tell you what I replied. LOL! I guess because I am the one who is motivated to change, and it was not HIS idea, it is only natural to be met with some resistance. Now to keep it going and not go back to the old ways.

It was so lovely to wake up again to the shiny sink, and it does give motivation to keep working on more areas so that they are easy to manage and to avoid getting overwhelmed. I keep reminding myself how chaos breeds chaos in the ADD'er.

Funny, how I am starting to see more traits of ADD in my husband as the weeks go by since my recent diagnosis. Mmmmm! But I must forget about focussing on him and focus on myself!

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Anyone else find Flylady helped them?

It's been a month since I posted about how I've been following the tips from the Flylady site. I'm happy to say that I been following their suggestions on a regular basis and housework is no longer the big drama it used to be for me. Last night it hit me, that instead of making an excuse and leaving the kitchen half tidied like I used to do, despite being very tired, I actually made a conscious decision and completed the job which meant when I woke up in the morning, I felt great and if I did get some unexpected visitors, they wouldn't find me in a state of C.H.A.O.S. I get it now, I am one of those people that chaos really did create more chaos so by starting of with tidy kitchen, I'm motivated to do more.

Not only have I put into place a "good habit" by sticking to the guidelines daily, it's made me realise how much energy I wasted in putting simple chores off when it really takes only a few minutes to do tasks. I feel up to the challenge of establishing more good habits seeing as a bit of effort on a regular basis has given me such a great result.

I know many have said Flylady is not for them and I wonder if I hadn't started on meds a few months ago whether I could have stuck to it. Instead of getting overwhelmed like I used to in the past and giving up, I do what they say....delete any unread emails and just start fresh each day without any guilt. I've read so much on ways to become more organised in the house, and nothing ever worked before. I can't even say why this is working, I'm just grateful that I found something that suits me and that I've stuck to for over a month. I'm even looking forward to implementing more of their suggestions.

I'm also noticing other subtle improvements in various aspects of my life since being diagnosed. But I think that because housework is one of those boring, repetitive jobs that many ADDer's struggle with on a daily basis and can build up until it affects others areas of life, it's a blessing to finally make some changes, stick to them and see the benefits so quickly.

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invite, have people over. If you live with other people your house will definitely get clean.

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