I have the exact same problem with my son. Although I have not mastered the consistency to keep the system going, there are a few things that have worked for me.

My son's school provides a booklet to parents with the outline of the course, the important dates, and about how many units a student should be doing, plus I ask my son or his teachers to give me the outline of the course. This outlines are sheets that have the titles of the assignments, the dates, and the value each assignment has for the overall mark.

By looking at the assignments, I can ask my son for concrete assignments and ask if it's done rather than him telling me everything is fine or that he doesn't remember the name of the assignment, etc.

Having said that, I think it's vital for kids at this age to really care about school and about their future. They are so close to adulthood and to an age in which our ability as parents to help them becomes limited. If they don't care about their own future, it's going to be tough for them.

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My son will be starting High School next year and this has been a huge issue even in middle school. Our school district has online gradebook and some teachers do post their homework assignments which is nice. When we ask to see his completed work he never has it. We were able to get a 504 which helped with some of the planner issues but we also had him in study hall which helped out a lot for completed tasks. High School does not have this opportunity for him. It is very hard to find the balance of him being independent and making him feel successful.

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My son is 16 and has ADD inattentiveness, and I understand your problem. What we have him do is to write it down in his planner even if there is not any homework (he writes NONE). I double-check against the school system (which is on-line homework, grades, behavior in real time). If you do not have this tool handy, I also e-mailed the teachers and they would send me homework by the week. I would check his planner everyday with the info I had, if he had not written his homework down or his homework wasn't done there was a warning. The next time the consequence was taking away something he loved to do (just for that evening), like watch tv or play video games. I hope this may help someone.

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They are so close to adulthood and to an age in which our ability as parents to help them becomes limited. If they don't care about their own future, it's going to be tough for them.

My biggest fear is the above quote. Sooner than they realized our ability as parents to help them becomes limited. WHAT are they going to do then and LIFE is going to SO MUCH HARDER than it has to be.

ALSO....my son's middle school has a website that the teachers have blogs and post homework assignments along with agendas. I check this often.

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Here is where to leverage the school code, no child left behind and special education services.

I inspire all parents of students of any age with ADD to pursue IEP's and 504 Accommodation plans. This is truly a pursuit. Schools that roll out the red carpet for individuals struggling with ADD are rare. Most programs are in the procedure book but seldom get further than that and requests are poorly received.

Challenged students and gifted students are expensive to educate and schools know it. As a consequence, many evaluations are executed with bias to put these individuals in the much cheaper middle. Often ADDers manage average grades that are used to decline accommodations. This is actually a clear indication that accommodations are desperately needed especially if the mandatory PSSA and similar tests scores are very high. How can someone run with the heard with these liabilities? They use strengths to quietly compensate for weakness and hide failures. You have a gifted student with challenges and both ends of the scale within the same individual. The premise we used to pursue accommodations is that our boys are not performing at their potential.

That said all of us paid for these services through our taxes and schools have a legal obligation to to provide them. This must start by a written request with proof of receipt. Do it in person and ask for the school secretary to sign for it, send it to them with a tracking number and (NOT OR) send it certified mail. That gets a legal clock running. Copy all teachers with the request.

Once the ball is rolling, I encourage parents to perform independent and complete psychological evaluations through registered professionals and consider it an armament effort. Send the school the results, watch the legal clock and remind them when it gets close. Gear up for a battle and document everything. You may not need it, but if you do, this prevents them from deferring the process with their version of procedure.

We made a March request. At the end of the school year the director promised to make it a priority in September in spite of my objections and pleading to avoid the school start-up. In October her successor had no knowledge of the request and denied existence of hard copy. When presented, she then told me under the code the school has 60 days to respond. From that day forward the Principal worries when I'm in her office. The team convened the next day.

That's all procedure that will do little for your kid since education happens in the classroom.

Next, build a working relationship with teachers that include clear and open communication. Demand that your kids give teachers absolute and unchallenged respect, explicitly recognize that they are the experts of education and hold them to task.

Then seek accommodations. One that is now providing surprisingly good results is a weekly session with the guidance councilor. She and my son routinely review his schedule, organize his binders and prepare for assignments. They both actually have a High Ole time. He also has some latitude with due dates that enable him to forget submitting his completed work without penalty. This relives the disparity of finding yourself in a hole too deep to get out.

Moving forward recognize achievement with big fanfare and discount failure. Success breeds success. When they fall down, use past success to inspire another go. Fight tooth and nail for every grade at every level. Kids get empowered when they know their parents are proudly in their court.

Accommodations are also available in college. We're not there yet, but I heard that they are easier to obtain if they exist in high school.

All parents carry the administrative burdens of their ADD kids. If you're like me, this creates a blind leading the blind conundrum with an ADD parent leaning on weaknesses to help talented children with ADD generate success. The work is only exceeded by the rewards.

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