People are using against you. Its their lack of understanding of your "condition". There are alot of people out there who arent smart enough to have a life of their own, so they pick on someone else that they percieve to be lesser than themselves. My favorite saying GFY "use your imagination", or just tell them to get a life, mind your own business its a full time job. gypsygirl

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The problem is too, that once they learn a tiny bit about adhd they think they are experts and qualified to give medical advice. Families of those with adhd need to focus more on encouraging and supporting and less on analyzing behavior. I know lots of non-adhd people that act irrational, forgetful, and just plain annoying sometimes, yet I don't try to psycho-analyze them because I just know that NOONE is perfect last time I checked and I focus more on their qualities. Thanks for your reply =)

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I thought I was the only one encountering this exact problem. I am so sick and tired of hearing "have you taken your meds?" or "don't forget to do this", etc. I was only disagnosed with ADHD, anxiety issues and OCD last December and now everyone is using it "against" me it seems, so I have become a "homebody" and I stay home all alone and spend time trying to figure out how I am going to better my life and self and how to find the help I think I need to make my ADHD, OCD, etc work for me instead of against me. Except that I did find that not remembering to pay my phone bill has actually helped me for once I find it creates a lot more peace for me. lol Too many self titled "experts" in my life now....just need to truly educate them somehow. Cheers!

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To CompletlyLost: Yes, it sounds like you are living my life right now! I know you would like to educate them, but I've tried something recently that seems to work better. Family or not, people like that will only bring you down and drain you of your energy- energy that you could be using to "better your life". I decided to accept that all the education in the world will never make my family understand what I struggle with and how their behavior is affecting me, so basically I don't give them my energy anymore. If they talk, I listen politely. If they criticize me or have "medical advice", I either just say "ok" and walk away or if what they say is really uncalled for I say, "Thanks for your concern, but from now on I only feel comfortable discussing my adhd with my doctor." Also, I only give short responses, like in response to "did u take your meds?" they answer is "yes" and I walk away. I've tried this approach for only 2 days and I've had a HUGE increase in energy and an overall more positive outlook which made me realize how much my family drains me (because I let them). We adhders NEED our energy because little things require more effort for us and I'm learning that we not only waste time on tasks but on people too. I hope this makes sense & is of any help for you.

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Its definitely worth a try. I will let you know how or if it works for me. :-) Thank you for the advice.

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Hello, when someone has something to say, I try to listen. If they permit themselves to give a medical advice whereas not qualified to do so, I don't say ok to please them, but I immediately reply to do their job and my physician does its own. Or that they are not physician, so not qualified at all to give me any medical advice. Or that if I need a legal, medical or so one advice, I am old enough to find the answer by myself.

Each time mom or someone else did that, I reacted telling them they are not qualified to do so. Or that they can't presume for answer they don't have etc.... If you say ok but don't listen to them, it seems a good idea at first sight, but it can only worsen the problem because they are offenced you make believe you listen and instead not. So they are even more prone to give you so told good advice when they are not. So if someone gives you an advice they don't have to give you, make things clear toward them. Ok, they'll be grumpy, saying you're nasty etc.... but they don't respect you when they do so, so why should you let you walk on your feet from them ? As soon as they start, tell them that they don't have to, because your physician is better qualified to do so. If they reply : "it worked to my friend/my sister/bf" etc... reply that you're not its clone because each one is unique.

I always use this method when this kind of stuff happens and frankly, no one dares any more to give advice they don't have to. Even my friends never cross the red line with advice any more (they don't believe they can substitute a qualified professionnal or a law text). To give you an example, all my good friends told me when I was so short of breath to the point I couldn't take a glass of water in the kitchen to insist toward my GP to do something because I was not absolutely as usual, but they didn't make any kind of diagnosis. On the other hand, a so told good friend told me I was like that because of stress and anxiety. It turned I was having a very bad pericarditis (a heart condition), and the only solution was plenty of rest and great amount of aspirin for a month. I would have listened the friends' so told diagnosis, I would have been with serious consequences, and maybe in the heaven now. So I was very clear with them, some left and better for me ! I needed patience and some shouting, I have been called the nasty and insensitive from mom, but I didn't even care she didn't like it because when she does so, she doesn't respect me so, I have no reason to be gentle with her. Now she understood and relationships are even better than before. Even if your family won't like you to call them back in order, do it because otherwise, and from personal experience, the problem has no chance to be solved. It will be solved for 5 minutes but it won't last. And leave them away if they don't understand : better being alone than malaccompanied !

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Every time I have a long call with my sister, like clockwork she asks or reminds me if/that our kids are on meds. I've often felt she sees through rose colored glasses.

People change for two reasons. One they can't see the future or two they achieve a benefit an order of magnitude greater than they currently enjoy. Nothing in between.

If you can, I suggest you create some distance between you and them. If they get disturbed by your lack of participation, truthfully tell them why. They will change if they feel the need. IMHO if they don't want to understand or respect what they can't, their burden isn't worth your time or energy. You can always swoop in during emergencies.

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If you've been formally diagnosed as having ADHD, there's good news and bad news.

The good news is that many of the symptoms can be managed with the right dosage of the right medication (yes, it's expensive. And you'll probably take it for life.).

The bad news is there are (almost) always comorbidities, as ADHD is a neurological disorder. Once the medication kicks in to manage your ADHD, the other symptoms will rise to the top. In my case, I was also diagnosed with Asperger's (it's very difficult to separate them diagnostically due to the overlapping symptoms). The latter can't be treated. I'm on Social Security Disability because I'm unable to compete in today's marketplace due to my employment history (couldn't keep a job more than 2 years) and my age: 60.

5 years ago 1 out of 250 people were diagnosed with ADHD. Now it's 1 in 90.

The younger you are when you are diagnosed, the sooner you can take proactive measures to improve the quality of the rest of your life. And because of the growing numbers of our group, a great deal of attention is being paid to us by the Government (ADA, 2009) and the drug companies (look for generic versions, and - if things are really tight, call the drug manufacturers; they have programs to help).

You're not alone: You're part of the ADHD Generation. And to think, I used to be a hippie :(

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and then do what feels right to you. I am severe ADHD and meds work to a point but then it wears off and things like my impulsive mouth or impulsive behavior come rushing back. It may come to their surprise most ADHD people have co morbid like depression anxiety due to the years of someone telling them what is wrong with them. The thing is we have some great attributes and they need to be nurtured and treasured. I never make excuse for myself , I did when I was younger now it love me or leave me alone. I take thing in my own hands and as I got older and now know my specific ADHD I have learn how to manage it. Just be kind to yourself and learn about your own ADD/ADHD. If they don't listen to Thank you politely tell them to piss off. (judi)

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