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|Thread : Just can't stay focused|
|6 Jun 2010 @ 10:31 AM|
Sun 6th Jun 2010
Threads: 1 Posts: 0
Just can't stay focused
I'm an adult with ADD and didn't find out I had it until well into my late 30's. I am chronically disorganized, and I've had a lot of trauma over the past 25 years which only complicates and exacerbates the ADD. My mind is constantly racing and overflowing with creative ideas, and I jump from one topic to another. Just when I think I am going to sit down and work on one of my big projects, I get online, and I'm creamed. Seriously, I think the internet is a double edge sword - it's great for researching, but to me, it is like an accordion file. I start to research something and then there are links or resources to something else. As an ADD-er, I feel like I'm in a straight jacket needing to constantly move on, so I'll bookmark a million different sites, or minimize some, and then never get back to them. It's like one door leading to another and another and then my brain just wants to shut down. With all that mental energy, you'd think I'd want to exercise it off, but it's the reverse. I'm physically exhausted. My daughter is 15 and so frustrated, as she is so organized mentally, and I am a major distraction to her. I speak at alarming rates going from one topic to the other and both my husband and my daughter are constantly telling me to stay on topic. It has gotten much worse since menopause (anyone else find that?).
Has anyone had help with alternative methods (I'm very allergic or sensitive to meds and I do have some major health issues right now). I'm willing to try anything. Also, has anyone had success with professional organizers? It's funny to see that all the regular professional organizers in my area have suddenly become specialists in ADD and Chronic Disorganization (since those are the latest buzzwords), and I honestly don't believe it for a minute. I think they have probably just read some books on the subject but have no real training. I'd like to work with a cognitive therapist, but many of them don't have a clue how to deal with ADD and chronic clutter/disorganization from my experience.
Lastly, has anyone tried acupuncture or EFT (tapping) for their ADD?
|6 Jun 2010 @ 9:51 PM Reply # 1|
Sun 11th Apr 2010
Threads: 1 Posts: 3
Dear cant stay focused,
Please do not feel alone. My attention span is very short, add hungry and or tired and its a disaster. I know how you feel. Menopause has made it worse for me. I have chosen to deal with the problem on my own, because the meds have to many side effects, how can that be good for you? My biggest challenge is communication, putting the right words together to get my point across. You mentioned having some health issues, I wouldnt try the herbs without talking to a doctor first. You could try talking to someone whose specialty is herbology, and I dont know it acupuncture would help. I am currently into Brain Wave Entrainment. I have been using Binaural Beats and they really do help. Meditation is very good, and the Binaural Beats are very helpful for that also. I have had good results when I remember to use them. For my next trick, I am checking out a program called Relaxing Rhythms go to www.wilddevine.com this could be a good one. The best part is that there are no meds and no known bad side effects. I hope this has been helpful to you, and please stay in touch. gypsygirl
|6 Jun 2010 @ 10:46 PM Reply # 2|
Sun 6th Jun 2010
Threads: 1 Posts: 5
if you're already going online to check email and stuff, then try using microsoft outlook to help you organize & your email and organizer is all in one. Also, I've heard positive things about neurofeedback therapy. I haven't tried it yet, but I'm planning on it.
|7 Jun 2010 @ 5:08 PM Reply # 3|
Mon 15th Mar 2010
Threads: 0 Posts: 2
I am screaming with you! Ugh! I get so overwhelmed i just completely avoid all my projects! If I could just start and finish one and not think of a new one in the mean time life would be great!!! When I do start something I get so focused I can't stop!!! So my newest try at getting some sort of organization is putting everything down in my phone. No matter what I am thinking just adding it to my notes! I can go from one thing to the next and not worry about forgetting it! The only problem is like every thing else avoidance...
|7 Jun 2010 @ 5:23 PM Reply # 4|
Sun 6th Jun 2010
Threads: 1 Posts: 0
Just can't stay focused
Thank you all for your responses! I must have tons of pieces of paper, notebooks, index cards with to do's on them - everything scattered all over! I'm worried about the enormity of preparing for college (my daughter is going to be a sophmore; however, they are throwing to do's at the students, and as a parent, I get so stressed over it all). I'm also worried about my health (I have 2 blocked arteries -r enal and carotid with the renal causing hypertension, so I need to stay calm at all times; the other two are narrowing from a condition known as fibromuscular dysplasia). I have an adrenal tumor which makes things even more magnified since it pushes out the stress hormones causing severe anxiety and the feeling of being overwhelmed...and to top it off, I'm putting together a huge project for the upcoming first Youth Olympics in Singapore along with the announcement of the International Year of YOUth....I have to be in an organized environment as it is a must right now. I honestly feel like I'm being swallowed up by it all despite the fact that I love what I do. We use MAC's in the house, and quite frankly, and it's sad to say, unless I have it on paper, the computer makes me more stressed. I like putting things in binders rather than having all these sites to read information on - it just really creates more stress. If I print it out, I can take it with me and read it at leisure. The chaos of loose paper, mags, and "stuff" around is killing me...
I have experienced Wild Divine. I bought it about 8 years ago and enjoyed it - I need some new programs for it. I am going to try EFT (tapping), as I've read that it gets rid of past traumas and helps with illnesses and ADD. It's worth a shot. I also heard neurofeedback is good as well.
I don't use herbs except the ones prescribed by doctors (like Dr Oz or Dr Sinatra) for cardiac issues - tumeric, cayenne pepper, but mostly supplements like b vitamins, and amino acids especially for these issues - and Omega 3's which are good for ADD so they say...Vit D3 is excellent too as in testing I found I was very low in that so the dr prescribed 4,000 IU's a day. I'm taking a baby aspirin too, but some major decisions have to be made about the arteries (given my allergies to contrast dye and meds, I don't have many options unfortunately). I'm using the Louise Hay CD's and Belleruth Naperstak (she's excellent) for stress and trauma. I believe she has one for ADD and I'm going to try that as well.
Thank you again for all your help!
|7 Jun 2010 @ 7:08 PM Reply # 5|
Mon 7th Jun 2010
Hey I totally can sympathize with you. I can take medication relatively okay but I go off it from time to time (under Dr. supervision) The medicine even if it did work isn't a fix-it-all. It's a tool but not the only tool. If you were able to take the medicine it would still take discipline and practice to control behavior. The trick is really not to be down on yourself for mistakes you've made and just get on with fixing them or letting them go. The fact of the matter is this whole ADHD thing is unfair. Just as people who are born more likely to get fat have it unfair. Because of yoru disability you have skills that others probably covet. People with ADHD are typically creative and extremely intelligent. Focus on what makes you awesome.
For me biofeedback was a step but not the only step. It is very expensive and many people are not very good at it. If you are kinda newly aware and haven't had tons of behavioral training I would find a good therapist who can help you put more tools in your tool box other than drugs.
On a more practical/easy to fix note. I don't buy into a lot of that hippie dippie herbal stuff. A chemical is a chemical is a chemical. The only thing is herbal medication is less regulated and less researched. Other than possibly omega 3 pills, if your doctor hasn't mentioned it I wouldn't trust it. if you eat a healthy diet you should get what you need. I've read lots of research on reducing processed food can be significantly helpful, especially processed carbohydrates. Also making sure you exercise consistently (preferably early morning if you can manage) You might be able to drink a few cups of coffee in lieu of stimulant medication since both affect the central nervous system in the same way. I'm not sure why all of this stuff works for me but it does. Perhaps its simply that you are healthier body and mind so you perform better and most people with or without ADHD don't do it it so it might give you an edge. Also the alarm trick is a good suggestion. Also taking breaks and listening to soft music without lyrics. People with ADHD are the only people who actually benefit from concentration with music or some sort of white noise. I use my fan. Also making sure you are sleeping on a regular schedule is essential to combating ADHD.
Last but not least: do not get down on yourself for getting hyperfocused on something. The time you wasted is gone. You can't get it back so you might as well write it off as a time where you learned something fun and not get hyperfocused on how you were hyperfocused on something you shouldn't have been. You probably needed a little break. Sometimes a little walk around the office or house is enough to reset my focus. When I work at home I try to get up every forty five minutes or so from my desk and clean off a counter or a file and then get back to work. I was diagnosed when I was very young so I have lots of practice. Find a good amount of time that works for you. At first it might be 15 minutes. Think of your brain like a muscle. Increase the amount of time you focus gradually and try to eliminate all distractions you can (pictures, instant message applications etc.) If I'm lucky I get hyperfocused on what I'm supposed to do. I don't know if you are a woman or not but I know some doctors who feel that small amounts of progestin (ie birth control) can help manage ADHD symptoms.
I hope this helps!
|5 Jul 2010 @ 5:50 PM Reply # 6|
Sun 6th Jun 2010
Threads: 1 Posts: 0
just can't stay focused
Thank you for your response. I think, in my case, the clutter makes it all so much worse. I can't figure out what came first the ADD causing the clutter or the clutter making the ADD soar. I have had trauma from 1998 on with a dysfunctional alcoholic husband (we live separately in the house; he's in the basement apt), and that adds to the nightmares. He is narcissistic and hates people who are ill. I've had 3 cancers, took care of both my terminally ill parents in my home, while raising my daughter. Recently I was diagnosed with renal artery stenosis (80% blockage) after bouts of high blood pressure when it was normal previously. Both my other renal artery, and a carotid artery are narrowing from a condition known as fibromuscular dysplasia (non-artherosclerotic). The other carotid artery is 30% blocked. I can't take bp meds as I have a paradoxical reaction whereby the lowest dosage of meds elevate the bp to dangerously high levels (250/135), cause severe headaches and vomiting (2 different classes; the other one just caused hyperactivity, feeling of being high and sleeplessness for 2 days). I had to be hospitalized all 3 times. Without meds, my normal bp can range anywhere from 120's to 160/90-107 on any given day with a rare diastolic of 80's. I can't have angioplasty as the artery is looped, and I am allergic to the contrast dye. They offered prednisone and benadryl as a possible prophylactic measure, but they can't guarantee I still wouldn't react or that the artery wouldn't restenose in 4-6mos. I eat healthy, don't exercise like I should and am normal weight; however, the vascular surgeons all have said that stress is what has narrowed my arteries over the years, since my lipids and inflammation markers were normal. There have been many abusive moments, and the clutter began and ADD worsened after the trauma started in 1998.
I remember the therapist saying "you don't smoke, you don't drink, so you clutter - if you didn't react in some way, I'd be concerned." But as time went on, the clutter worsened, and once my husband was ordered back by the courts (when you are not divorced, you have rights) into the house (he was out for 5 years doing what he pleased), then things got progressively worse. He dissipated our finances prior to his comeback, so that we have no money to do repairs or hire someone to come help me organize the house. I get up daily in disarray. That is what wakes me in the morning - the fact that I have so many projects I am working on, but the condition of the house only draws me into the abyss that created this mess. It gets to the point where I feel there is no way out at all. There is an acronym that the organizing websites use called CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome) and that is me. We haven't had anyone in since the trauma of 1998, and we haven't had a vacation in 14 years. I do a drive back and forth to school daily (2 hrs in the morning and then 2 in the afternoon) and get barely 3-4 hours of sleep, so I'm sleep deprived on top of it.
None of the doctors have answers except to say get out of there. Easier said than done when you have no financial support or family. We live in an upper middle class neighborhood where people do know our business, which makes it worse. However, my daughter and I are not like him. Everytime I want to lift a box out of the house, I can't due to the arterial situation (dr doesn't want me lifting, doing yoga, massage or chiropractic). Last week, I got so fed up, I started pushing a box outside (my daughter caught me and was livid) and I got worse. Then the anger starts about why I have to handle this all myself leading right back to "him" - cause and effect. So I wake up with my mind reeling with to do's, thinking I've got it all planned out, and once I open my eyes and look around the reality sets in - clothes, books, papers....with no idea of what to tackle first. The ADD mind, at least mine, just can't stay in one room.
Therapists who really don't connect trauma/abuse/ADD, will say "just set a timer and stay in one room until it's complete." I can't do that. I'm too hyper, yet fatigued, to focus on one thing. It's like I'm in a straight jacket. Sometimes I wish I had been a drinker/druggie instead of a clutterer because then I wouldn't "care" if the house was a mess (just kidding)!
My physical health is taking a toll, as on top of the arterial blockages, there is an adrenal tumor and lesion on my liver (who gets these things if you don't drink?). It's all from stress I have to believe, because I certainly eat right.
I have a huge project for the youth olympics in singapore that my daughter is working on and we have to fly economy for 30 hours (a stop or two). Normally, this wouldn't bother me at all. But given my condition, I am very afraid of something happening while I am overseas and the stress it will cause my poor daughter. It would help enormously to fly business class, but who can afford it! You'd never know there were problems with the economy! I thought airlines would be giving seats away (and consolidators as well), but to the contrary. They have jacked up the prices. Then I think, if "he" hadn't spent our assets on horrific things, i'd at least be able to swing a business class ticket in a comfortable seat. But at this point now, the dr feels it would be too dangerous to fly, and now I have the guilt of letting my daughter down, and her father could not care less. It's just too awful to even think about.
Perhaps this is not the correct forum to address the above issues, but I think they are all inter-related in some fashion; it illustrates what trauma and devastation can do to the already distressed ADD mind.
|2 Aug 2010 @ 8:00 PM Reply # 7|
Mon 2nd Aug 2010
I think I've got ADD
I am going in to a naturopathic physician this week. I too am chronically disorganized, overrun with what I think are brilliant ideas from starting a cupcake business to launching a nonprofit. The other trouble to this is I am unemployed, have no money saved, and my husband and children are tired of seeing me spend hours upon hours on the internet feeding the "creative process." Up until today, I thought I was just creative, working hard on my ideas and dreams, and moving forward. Reading your post, I realize, I am spinning my wheels, getting nothing done, and continuing to idealize and conceptualize while the world passes me by. I do have great ideas, but I cannot stick to them long enough to see them come to fruition. I'm 40 and have been doing this for almost ten years. I saw my father go through this, until finally around 60, her settled into one job and worked at it until he passed last summer. Some days I am in tears at the money, time, and energy I have wasted. I have had opportunity upon opportunity, upon opportunity and yet, I am still going nowhere. Knowing I'm not alone helps. Quote:
medavinci said: I'm an adult with ADD and didn't find out I had it until well into my late 30's. I am chronically disorganized, and I've had a lot of trauma over the past 25 years which only complicates and exacerbates the ADD. My mind is constantly racing and overflowing with creative ideas, and I jump from one topic to another. Just when I think I am going to sit down and work on one of my big projects, I get online, and I'm creamed. Seriously, I think the internet is a double edge sword - it's great for researching, but to me, it is like an accordion file. I start to research something and then there are links or resources to something else. As an ADD-er, I feel like I'm in a straight jacket needing to constantly move on, so I'll bookmark a million different sites, or minimize some, and then never get back to them. It's like one door leading to another and another and then my brain just wants to shut down. With all that mental energy, you'd think I'd want to exercise it off, but it's the reverse. I'm physically exhausted. My daughter is 15 and so frustrated, as she is so organized mentally, and I am a major distraction to her. I speak at alarming rates going from one topic to the other and both my husband and my daughter are constantly telling me to stay on topic. It has gotten much worse since menopause (anyone else find that?).
Local Time : 20 May 2013 12:05 PM
(Mon, 20 May 2013 16:05:55 GMT)