Are you talking about the hyper end of things or overall the symptoms come and go? Our son cycles through mood swings, at first we thought it was the medication so we tried a couple of different meds. Now we are heading closer to a mood disorder, but he definatly has ADHD as well. There are endless books to look at, the most helpful to us was "The Explosive Child" but that is would be more for a child who has anger/meltdowns. Not sure if your son has experienced this or not or if that is even a concern. Best of luck, hope you get some answers.

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Hi frazzledmomx3,

Thanks for the reply!

I can only describe his more intense periods as, well, "more". He's more active, more talkative, more unfocused, more easily frustrated, more noisy, more fidgety, more argumentative, more impulsive, more everything! He even sleeps less and has nightmares that drive him to our bed. At these times he also seems to be more creative and passionate about developing his ideas (he loves to write). He gets excited about things, including helping out at home and organizing his things.

For the most part getting along with most of these behaviors is possible. It's hard at times; the rest of us are fairly quiet and low-energy people, liking peace and stillness. Where we get into trouble is the extremes in his anger and what appears to be disrespect, but which we know are impulsive behaviors at times when he's frustrated and feeling that he's being treated unfairly. This has lead to several major meltdowns at school, which the staff seem to interpret as the behavior of an out-of-control disrespectful little boy. The principal has handled this all very well, not suspending him when he could have, but we as a family seem to have developed a reputation and his usually-patient teacher treats him like a delinquent who is intentionally challenging her authority. All we can do at those times is put up with her complaints without snapping back at her and assure her that things will eventually settle down on their own.

So, while we can manage at home, school has become a problem during this more active periods. He is moving up to a new school next year, and we're worried!

Thanks!

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If he doesn't already have an IEP, I would get started on that as soon as you can. They can set up an individual plan to work for him. For example, if our son feels frustrated he can ask his teacher to take a break in the hall or with his team leader. They also have a group that he goes to twice a week to work on social skills and how to handle situations that may cause him to get angry. It has been a slow process but it is working. His teacher has commented several times this year on how he has handled difficult situations using these new skills. I'm sorry to hear your son's teacher is reacting that way, that is truly sad for him. Hopefully his new school will be more understanding. At the begining of each school year I make sure to talk to the teacher, explain his situation and maintain contact throughout the year. I also volunteer a couple times of week in the classroom not only to help out but so I can see what is going on in the classroom, and show my son that I am interested in what he is doing at school. It really does help.

Sports are another thing that has worked for us, swimming has worked the best. The water seems to calm him, it requires that he use his large muscles, and while I hoped it would wear him out a bit it doesn't really do that, but it gives him a physical outlet. You could also try a reward chart, giving each behavior that you want him to work on a point value, then have another list of fun things such as going to the movies, playing a game with a parent, etc for him to choose from to work toward. Ex. getting dressed on his own in the morning may be worth 1 point the list may have going to the movies being worth 10 points. This gives him a visual to see his good behaviors are being recognized. We make sure to comment on good choices or when he is polite so he sees we are not just looking for bad behavior. I hope some of that helps. Keep us updated on the new school! Jayme

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