Our daughter used to have the same problems. It was so scary when you could see the look in her eyes change and you knew it was going to be a long battle. We were so blessed to find out that Dairy causes her psychotic (that is what I call them) episodes. It took 2 months for all the dairy to be completely out of her system and before we could see the results. During that time I learned so much about diet and the effect it can have on our brains. If you look up Autism Spectrum Diets, you will find many things to try. ADD/ADHD is an Autism Spectrum disorder and 70% of the time will respond to this type of way of eating. We been experimenting with dairy for a little over a year and there is not doubt in the relationship between her episodes and her dairy consumption. It also gives her night terrors. During this time we noticed when we would supstitute soy products for dairy, she would have the same aggresive type response. Our daughter actually test positive for a dairy allergy, but not soy. That reinforced to me that you could absolutely have an intollerance for something without an allergy. There are 5 foods that could cause these type of problems, and many others, for people who can not tollerate them. Dairy, Soy, Eggs, Gluten(Wheat) and Corn. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, since the results are not seen immediatly and it is so important to not cheat during the elimination period if you want true results. But..... it is also the MOST rewarding thing as well. Our beautiful, brilliant, fun loving, energetic daughter has a chance at being ALL God made her to be. I believe that God doesn't make mistakes and that it is a HUGE compliment that he entrusted us with our daughter. He knows that we are the best parents/family for her and it is our responsibility to do everything we can to insure her the best life possible. We also started keeping a journal of the events and I would take them to the family counselor to get "parenting coaching". He would give us very specific techniques on how to handle events instead of generic techniques. I found the support and encouragement we received from this to be extremely valuable. It was great to have someone to help work through the events and our feelings. Hang in There! Trust in God, he doesn't make mistakes. I pray that you and your family will figure out what she needs and have the strength and courage to persevere.

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Oh my gosh. There is so much pain in these notes.

My son is 16 and is about 200 pounds and has rageful episodes. He has ADD, some language processing issues and is probably Oppositional Defiant.

We have seen psychiatrists for years. He has been on Abilify (gained 40 pounds!) and Risperidal (made him angrier!) And a bunch of other meds. He's currently just on Lexapro. I am not sure it is helping.

I will say, please notice if your kids have anger after they take a stimulant. I know for a fact that it can incur anger.

I have been looking at diet lately. I have gone mostly organic on milk. I figure, if they put all those steroids in the cow, what do you think it does to your kids???? I honestly am not sure it is working.

We did find a class called DBT (Dialectical behavioral training). He is attending a weekly class and sees a counselor weekly to support the class. Here is a website. http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/

I have not seen any grand results yet, but I am hopeful.

I think I will try taking him off all milk and see what happens. (He will not be happy about this!)

My cousin takes EmpowerPlus vitamins (expensive) and says it is a godsend. I am wary of them, but I know it has helped some people. Basically a man in Canada researched bi polar and found out that some farmers gave pigs extra vitamins/minerals when their pigs had ear and tail biting disease. Basically, they ask you to initially take 15 pills a day and then slowly come down to say 4 daily. I am sure that most of it is excreted. But perhaps our American diets are sooooo devoid of nutrition, something needed fills in, I am thinking about trying it for him.

It is intolerable living with such horrible anger and violence. It is damaging to us and to him. I try to remain calm. One theory is if the frontal lobe of kids' brains is not active enough (i.e. ADD), then they act out because it excites that part of the brain. So I try hard not to react. I just keep saying, I know you are not acting like the young man that I know you will grow up to be. It is so hard.

I also pray and ask God to surround him in love. I did this for about 15 minutes last night in front of him and he ended up sitting on the floor. Much better than screaming and slamming doors into the walls and making holes.

It is my wish to pray for each and everyone in this thread. I hope I will not offend--- It is meant as a healing prayer for the good of all concerned.

Dear God, Let there be no untoward effects of this prayer, please. Dear God, Please send your white light to surround everyone who is in any pain dealing with any anger or infirmity in this thread. Give everyone who wishes to be blessed the wisdom, courage and strength to deal with what life has dealt them. Give the parents and caretakers your love. Allow them to see the child through the anger and know that no one would choose such behavior. If there is some solution in the form of an altered diet, medication, doctor's care, etc. that would ease the pain of these people, please show them the direction to the process or solution. Let them know that we are all God's children and that we are all loved.

Please give each and everyone affected by these infirmities rest and a peace that passes all understanding. Give them calmness in the storm. Love them all.

Amen

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Perfect angel as school. Occasional tyrant at home. Loudest out of control and destructive six year old ever witnessed. The most remorseful defeated broken child ever to grace my lap.

Coping with ADD is requires extra energy at any age and we all run out at the end of the day. So do the meds. Add to the uncontrolled release a parent with ADD at the end of my day and explosions continue with no end in sight.

Growing up is hard. Maturity does not come easy for ADDers. Eventually something has to give. Thankfully many in this thread have a home where it has a place to happen.

So what worked for us? Nothing. Yes, nothing. When we have our game on, we do nothing. The cork flies, the energy releases and burns out. He knows we're here for him, we make sure he knows this is home and it's not going anywhere, we absorb all that comes our way and try not to add energy. Then pick up the pieces and keep going.

For how long? He's now a much more mature 10 year old with straight A's, a black-belt who plays a clarinet that found and received tools he puts to work and freely gushes affection.

Does it still happen? Not within the time we can recall the last one.

Good luck, remember no one has a smoking gun that solves this one and life is good.

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Our 10 y/o daughter has similar episodes. It's like she's a drunk. You cannot talk to her or reason with her until she "sleeps it off". It's impossible. She's not gotten as violent as you mention, but I've had things thrown at me, I've tried to have her in time out and she just keeps saying "no" in this sassy voice cocking her head and I just want to slap the s...t out of her. It makes me so mad. I physically have had to try to get her to the top of the stairs to sit in time out or to her room, she's tried to bite me, etc. It takes every ounce of self control for me to not just unleash. I also have a 4 y/o daughter and I hate for her to see this and worry she'll pick up on it. She seems smart enough to realize that it all gets her sister into trouble so she's pretty good.

I also worry that something else is going on with her. Our pediatrician says it's pretty classic ADD. ADD kids over react. Everything seems "bigger" to them and they can't control it. However, like some of you, she's GREAT at school. I often will email teachers and say "we had a rough morning" (that puts it lightly!) and she was very upset, just FYI - teachers are shocked to hear some of the behaviors I've told them. Our prior ped was shocked too. I'm glad we found a new ped who I feel is on my side and has given my husband and I so much good advice. I'll share some below, remember, so much of it is easier said than done though - esp in the heat of the moment when your temper is flaring and you have a sibling standing there taking it all in!.

- Delay punishment. State the rules ahead of time (like our big one is disrespect, don't talk to us disrespectfully). And tell the kid if you break a rule, there will be a "consequence" Tell them when they break the rule (we use the 1,2,3 Magic strategy and that works well - that is a wonderful book - if you've not read it - do). If she gets to 3 - there's a consequence. By just hearing "3" she knows she's in trouble. Do not administer punishment during the heat of the moment. You talk about the "consequence" later, when things settle. Otherwise, it just continues to escalate. I've seen it happen so many times! I snap out "you just lost the Wii" and then she'll go "I don't care!!!!" then I go "now you lost the DS", etc. etc. and she gets more and more fired up and it works better to delay punishment and deal it out later.

- Distract them. When you see something brewing, but it's not so so bad, just a situation starting (usually between siblings) - pull the ADD one aside and say, "hey, can you help me with _, I really can't do this very good and you're so good at it, can you help me?" - distracts them and gets them onto something else. This has helped avert a lot of problems for us.

- The less you say the better. Our ped says if you have to say "just" or "because" etc. you're saying too much. They're blocking you out at that point.

- Disengage - this does'nt work for us. But along same lines as say less. Disengage, don't get sucked into it. It escalates my daughter more and makes her madder. I can say "we will talk later" and that's all I can do. I can't talk to her when she's in that state. When the kid is being good, then go to them and say "hey, earlier when you did that really made me feel _, what was going on in your mind then?"

- Read the book "The Five Love Languages of Children" - find our what your kid's "love language" is and how to relate to them and cater to that love language of your child. Mine 10 y/o is "quality time" and when we ground her or isolate her that freaks her out more because she craves that quality time. Find times to give quality time, even if in trouble all day, at the end of the day I try to go to her room and just stroke her hair and talk to her or read a book with her. It makes me feel like we ended on a good note. That book is very helpful and my ped really recommends that.

We also have found red dyes play a big role in poor behavior. And too many late nights catch up w/her. Structure is really impt. for our 10 y/o.

We're on Vyvanse 30 mg w/Intuiv and it's working well. It won't always, but I'll take whatever good day/moment I can. Parenting these kids is EXHAUSTING!!!!

Good luck!

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