Can you relate? This belongs in the career forum and I laughed and cried after I read it. It seems that their are research centers all over the place for adults with adhd or add. I hope this makes your day as it did mine. This particular research center needed 16 adults. Eight of them with Adhd four men and four women, and eight without, same mix. They put the eight flats, norms, non-adders and put them in a room, double mirrors, videos and recorders. They obviously put the eight Adders in another room. Each group was given the exact same project to do. They had three hours to finish the project. When the norms entered their room, there were some handshakes and brief hello's. They sat down at the large table and they were told what the project was going to be. Very involved paperwork. Organizing, columns, list making, stacking the papers into specific sections...and so on. They sat down, hardly smiled and one man decided to make the decisions for everyone. He stood up and gave out the assignments to each person. They worked without saying a word except for how boring this was, and that they were thrilled to be getting the fifty bucks for the project. None of them asked each other personal questions, such as are you married? Do you have children? They moaned and groaned throughout the whole project and finished just under three hours. When they left, they said goodbye, nice meeting you and off they went. NOW....The Adders sat at the same size table. They went around the room and introduced themselves, they were handed the exact same project, but instead of moaning and groaning they joked about paperwork and organization, but looked stressed. They decided together as a team who would be assigned which type of work BUT if they needed help, they just asked. One of the men needed help and two women put down what they were doing and took the time to help, smiling and joking around to make the man feel at ease. They found the project very difficult, but throughout the process they asked all about each other, their families, kids, dogs, where they lived, when and were they diagnosed and by whom. They offered coffee and they inspired each other. They elected to talk about whether they were going through a difficult time in their lives, everyone listened and offered ideas, sympathy and understanding, while they worked on the project. One woman started to cry as she just couldn't figure out how to organize a certain stack of papers the way that the project leaders asked. Everyone got up and helped her. At the three hour limit, getting paid the same amount of money as the norms, they still had not completed the project. When the project managers came in and told them their time was up, they refused to leave until they finished. The project manager told them to take their time. They finished in four hours and fifteen minutes. When they left, they had already exchanged phone numbers, were getting together for drinks the following week and one Mother was babysitting for another mom who's sitter had just quit. They hugged and kissed when they left and to this day they still meet up. This project was conducted three years ago. Now, I ask you....Which group would you prefer to belong to? We are the idea people, we are caring, loving and wear our hearts on our sleeve. Were our strengths are they are off the charts, whether you have found them yet or not. Where we are weak, we are weak and I never think about that anymore. We have a hard time saying no because we care and want to help. We do need to find that fine line, but we can learn that with the help of a coach. I love color and can put a room or an outfit together that was not put together for me by a clerk in the store. I love words and I can only learn about things that interest me. I am genuinely interested in other people and I am a good listener. I think outside the box and I am always told that I have a quick wit. I can size someone up in five seconds. I remember reading in one of my ADHD books that many of us can jump into someone's head and know where they are going before they do. I have that ability. I try to get rid of the "rats in my basement," meaning the negative thoughts in my head. Many of these things are a struggle, but now at the ripe old age of 49 I wouldn't have it any other way. If I am starting a project, I do my very best work when I have someone at my side to work with me on it. If you can't (and right now, there is no possible way,) afford a coach, then this is the way to go. Find someone that will sit down and work through your new idea with you and work on it from beginning to end. I believe they even do this at score. I have ADHD Pride!!! What about you????

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I loved comment about the ADHD vs Norms. I am raising a grandson (18) and have since he was 16 months. Previously, I raised two sons, one of which is his father. My grandson has been the joy of our life. He has taught me so much. He has taught me how to love in ways that I never dreamed possible. I find myself asking him what his thoughts are on numerous things. He graduated from homeschool in May. Unfortunately, he is having a very difficult time finding a job. He has no experience and in our town, this makes it impossible to find a job. He does not have a girlfriend and this worries him more than not having a job. My other two sons, think that we baby him too much. To someone that does not understand ADHD, I guess that it would look that way. I was taught a new way to raise and talk to children with this child. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Best of luck in your job hunting!

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