No real answers, but I feel your pain. ADHD daughter, diagnosed in 1st grade, now in 7th, failing all academic classes. sigh Getting her to work on anything is worse than shoving an octopus in a string bag. She's so smart, but so far behind. I have no idea how to help her, really, as I'm struggling with my own recently-suspected ADHD, as well as separating from her ADHD dad. I cannot cannot cannot get her to stay on task, with or without meds. It's such a frustration.

Quote

First of all you know your kid is smart but does he? Those of us with ADHD have low self astemes if a teacher is giving anyone all Fs hoping they learn a leson I can see that that has to doo a number on hes self esteme. I know that you might think I am crazy but the dea that "no matter what I do I am too dumb to do well and I am going to fail anyway" or "The teacher hates me and I will fail anyway" Is distracting and not motivating. I went undiagnosed the whole time I was in school, and I did very poor that is until my parents got me a tutor. That tutor taught me to belive in myself and thats what got me through school. Also your child is getting a bit older teach him to advocate for himself. If the teacher is not doing X have your child ask for it and not just you. Your kid is going to have to deal with ADHD all his life you should start leting him learn how to deal with it now.

I think its time you sit down for a heart to heart. Tell him you know he CAN do well, and also ask him what you think will help. work with him not aginst him. Have him help you set rules for study time and rewards for good grades.

hope some of my ideas help

Quote

I am not a parent of an ADD child instead I am the college student with ADD, but I definately know where your so is coming from. The classes he seems to have trouble with aren't very hard classes and probably bore him which is the problem. More than likely he probably lies to you because he is nervous. When I was his age the constant nagging of my mother to do homework was extremely annoying, while I understand where she comes from now It was counter productive and only made me find creative ways to lie about homework assignments and hide things. What you could do is get a list of his assignments with dates on them from his teachers, or maybe get an email relationship with his teachers going so they can give you an idea of the homework he come home with. To make sure he does his homework maybe set an hour at a set time each day for you to sit with him and help him with his homework, more than likely the annoyance of you making him to his homework will motivate him to actually do it so he isn't stuck being watched; although I do not advise somewhere totally silent. There is hope you just have to make sure you work with him and do not think of him as a challenged individual. My mom and I always knew with me there was something wrong, but instead we just worked around it and I didn't get my diagnosis until my first year of college. Your son knows he has a problem and since he knows this this is the best time for you to learn to work around it and through it. He is just as able as any other kid, he just needs some alternate forms for his studies. Another Idea is to see if he can make up his assignments or work out some sort of deal with his teacher, maybe even alternate assignment. I was terrible about homework all throughout my pre college years and how I survived was buckets of extra credit, alternate assignments that were more challenging and kept my interest and most of all working with my teachers. As for the anxiety the psychologist can help him work through that, but for me personally once I understood anxiety attacks and that they can't hurt me I just told myself they would pass when I felt them coming on and now I rarely get them and they are far less severe. Anxiety is an annoyance which means it can be ignored to a point, maybe if he knows it won't hurt him his short attention span will come in handy and he will learn to ignore it.

Quote

Apologies for the length!!

You mentioned in your post that his 504 plan was followed sporadically or not at all. We had that same problem - in fact, reading your son's story is just like reading my daughter's, switch the names and you're done.

One suggestion I would make would be to get a professional advocate to help you with the school, if you can afford it. There are many professional advocates out there that can come to 504 meetings with you, write the letters, make the calls etc. to force the school to do their job. Remember, following the 504 is a federal requirement - if the receive federal funds, as any public school does, they are required by law to follow it. Make 'em! :)

Also, look for resources such as wrightslaw.com, which is a huge help in learning special needs law for yourself, and look for a Parent Training and Information Center (PTI) in your state. Ours in AZ is RaisingSpecialKids.org, they do all kinds of classes, consultations etc. and it's all free. From their website:

"Raising Special Kids is a nonprofit organization funded through state and federal grants, and private donations....Raising Special Kids is Arizona's Parent Training and Information Center (PTI), one of over 100 centers authorized under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) to provide assistance in special education to families and schools. Services include Individual Education Program (IEP) and 504 consultation for families. Training and consultation is available for schools, teachers and other professionals."

Here's a site where you can find yours: http://www.taalliance.org/ptidirectory/

Us personally - After several years of working with the school, constant fighting, and ultimately, teachers starting to take things out on my daughter, we ended up moving both our kids into a virtual school, which is like homeschooling in that you can do it in your living room, or anywhere else, but it's actually a public charter school. Both kids have a highly qualified teacher, they ship us textbooks, a computer on loan from the school, etc. We just do classes online and from workbooks as opposed to going to a brick and mortar school. But we also had medical issues in addition to the ADHD; I was already losing my job because of how often I had to be at the school, etc. etc. So being at home to do school was not that big a change. It's still a loss of income... but with all that was happening, I wasn't making much anyway, and the savings in not having to pay for gas, clothing, lunches etc. partially has made up for the loss of income. We go to www.k12.com/azva/ if anyone is interested :).

Jessica

Quote

Wow! Thanks for all of the great ideas! I posted partially just as a place to vent my frustrations, but I did have my fingers crossed that someone, somewhere would have a suggestion for me. It's nice to know that I am not alone in my frustrations and that some of you "feel my pain". I have already scheduled a meeting with the school for next week and MT has an organization called PLUK that assisted me in getting the 504 that is currently in place. In fact if it weren't for them I probably would have what I do. Since this year is all but done I have decided to begin the battle for next year's accomodations so they will be in place from the 1st day of school.

Quote

Quote:

WittsEnd said: I am new to this and this is my first posting. My son just turned 11, is in the 5th grade as was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in the 2nd grade. With the passing of each new year the anxiety and stress of school has increased for my son and I. This year I decided that we needed some more help (actually I suggested it near the end of the 4th grade, but was told he didn't qualify for any). The first week of school I contacted the principal and requested that my son be given accomodations. I was told that he didn't qualify as his grades were fine. My arguement was I didn't want to wait until they weren't fine to get something into place. Long story short, I was finally able to get a 504 in place by the end of the first quarter....yes it took the whole quarter to get it done. Suggestion to anyone wanting accomodations for their child....PUT IT IN WRITING. At the end of the first quarter my son was on the honor roll...yes I said honor roll. He had never achieved that before. He had been close, but never manage to make it. I was so proud of him. Well now here we are in the 4th quarter and he is flunking reading and language arts. He is so far behind that I don't think we can recover from it. My frustration now is that the 504 has only been followed sporadically and his reading and language arts teached didn't let me know that he was so far behind. She has this notion that if she keeps giving him 0's on assignments that he doesn't turn in he will "learn his lesson". Anyone with an ADHD child knows this is not the case. I am at my witts end and I don't know what to do. I can't get the school to follow the 504 which states that he will have help getting his assignments together and making sure that his completed ones are turned in EVERYDAY. I am on a first name basis with everyone in the school office because I call at least twice a week for some reason or another and I can hear them roll their eyes when I call and request progress reports to try and figure out what he is missing. My son is a good kid. He doesn't have the "bully streak" that is somethimes associates with the ADHD, but he has started to lie and hide things from me because of the pressure of trying to remember everything. He has just recently been put on medication for anxiety because he has begun having anxiety attacks and I am trying to get him into counseling to learn how to control his impulses. I have never been a fan of homeschooling, no offense to anyone who homeschools (bad personal experience), but if I could figure out a way to homeschool him and not have to quit my job (can't afford too) I would. Does anyone have any suggestions of any kind for me? I feel that I am failing my son and I don't know what to do.

Quote

My son is now finishing eighth grade but his sixth grade experience mirrored what you have experienced with your child. While he had never before had problems, the organizational skills that started to be required in sixth grade just baffled him. He started not wanting to go to school, always complaining of various ailments. What we subsequently figured out is that he was full of anxiety because he knew that he did not have the work done, but he didn't know what to do about it, how to start, etc. While sixth grade was a disaster, it was a wake up call for us and he was subsequently diagnosed with ADHD. We thought that changing schools might be the answer, but seventh grade started out to be just as challenging. We met with each one of his teachers and set up a system where we would be notified by email each day after school as to the homework assignments for that night. We would then go through our son's backpack with him each night and help him organize his work. We created little folders for each subject ( color coded with pockets) and on one side he would put his completed homework, and then on the other side he would try to remember to put the homework that was due the next day. It took some time, and a lot of one on one work with him, but eventually we developed a system that worked. Oh, the teachers assisted in helping by asking him for his homework each day ( as he would have it done but forget to turn it in.) For math, we would do the problems simultaneously and then either his Dad or I would check his work. Many times, he would skip a step, or do part one of problem A and then part 2 of the problem underneath, without realizing it. So, obviously he would get the wrong answer. Although he hated slowing down and showing each step of the problem, after many months he finally learned that it was the best way to make sure that he was doing everything correctly and not skipping any steps. While he still struggles with large projects ( we work together to break them down into manageable chunks and set time frames for each) so that he can handle the pressure and to make sure that he gets it all done in time. He also still has trouble reading all of the directions and making sure that he has done everything required. We just try to subtly check over his work when we can. Of course, as he is getting older, he is pushing back and insisting that he has it under control. He is working on figuring out his own system and that is the ultimate goal. Some other things that we have worked out with the school is that he can take exams in a small room where he can move around and not disturb others ( or be distracted by others) and for math, he is able to listen to music, as, for him, it allows him to concentrate better that way. I don't know if any of this will help you moving forward; good luck to you.

Quote

As a Special Education teacher for students primarily with leaning disabilities I can feel your frustration, with school, home and life with your child with ADHD. I too have ADHD, diagnosed at age 5, but never qualified. My teachers (back in the mid and late 70's) didn't believe iin accommodations - I was to learn the same way everyone else did. When it comes to a 504 plan you have to look at it as a safety net or a transition for students exiting a program. In actuality many of the listed accommodations and modifications are more than likely already taking place in the classroom, sometimes we just don't see it. One reason that not everyone jumped on the idea at first for your sons 504 plan was the fact that his disability was not impacting his learning at the time. 504 plans and IEP's are not preventative. We do not cure cancer before being diagnosed do we? You would not change your diet to be aligned to one who has Diabetes under the pretense you may become Diabetic, would you? Although the latter two are more extreme of course, it still profiles the same meaning. It is great to hear that your son got honor roll and that is an accomplishment to be proud of, but would he have received the same without his 504 Plan? I am all for anything that helps a child be successful in school and life and no child should feel the need to lie, however, what is the true reason for his lieing? Is it because the plan is not being followed through or is it because your son is not following through. I know that some plans do go unattended and there are good and bad teachers, but the many I have come across are very good teachers who are trying their best with what they are given. Obviously he has some good teachers or he wouldn't have a 504 plan to assist him or they would have tossed it aside the second they got it. One reason your son's grades decreased rapidly in the middle to the end of the school year may be because as the year progresses expectations become higher, the content becomes more challenging and responsibility is now given to the student. For a child with ADHD or ADD, the challenge of the content, the quick paced transitions and instruction and the knowledge that they are now responsible for their work cna be very overwhelming; however, it is within themselves that they find the true motivation to succeed and advocate for themselves. Trust me I am not attacking you or your son or your comments because they are all valid and I get it, but maybe you need to talk to your son and ask him what he thinks he needs to be more successful - then hold him to it.

Quote

I have had the same problems at school with my 13 yo grandson. I requested a referral or focus of concern to the school counselor and then had a IEP done which is legally binding more then a 504. This was comfirmed with his behavioral health counselor. Just make sure if there are behavior problems get that included. This website has alot of info on IEP's. The school found loop holes and kept kicking him out of school (like not following directions). Now it's homeschooling for 7th grade and we are excited. Good luck next year . Take care

Quote

You mentioned that he is on medication for anxiety but not if he takes any medicine for ADHD. If he does, then there's a possibility that his body has built up a resistance to his medicine, especially if he has been taking it for a few years. I have been prescribed Aderall xr since I was a freshman in high school. I'm a freshman in college now and I recently had to switch to Vyvanse because the Aderall was no longer working for me. My first semester I got all A's but second semester I was not doing very well until midterms. I pretty much failed every single test I took including most of my midterms and so I knew something wasn't working. I went home over spring break and came back to school with my new prescription. I have aced every test since then and I feel like I'm able to study again and work as hard as I am capable in school.

Quote

My son is taking Vyvanse (70mg) in the morning, Methylin (20mg) in the afternoon and Paxill (10mg) at bedtime. He has been on the Vyvanse and Mthylin at the current dosage for a little of a year now. We saw his Dr. last month and decided to keep his meds at the same level for now and to add counseling to our bag of tricks. I guess my biggest concern with my son right now is the amout of defiance that he has developed this year. He will just absolutely refuse to do his work in class. At home he will sit and do anything else but his homework, last night he tore the edges off all the way around his paper and chewed it into one big spit ball sigh. If i sit with him he gets mad because he "can do it himself", but if I leave him alone he doesn't do it. When I asked him why he thinks he doesn't do his work in class he cant' tell me. He says he knows that he needs to do it and he knows that he is going to get into trouble or get a bad grade if he doesn't, but still nothing gets done. I had a meeting scheduled with the school for next week to hash out his 504 for next year, but I have canceled it. He is starting his counceling later this month and will continue through the summer, I am hoping that this will help and when it come times next year to redo his 504 maybe his counselor with have some suggestions and maybe the school will listen to her suggetions more than they did mine.

Quote

Hi WitsEnd and company,

I have been all over the "A's to F's" issue and am still dealing with it. My 14-year-old daughter goes to a private school and although she is on medication and takes one at the end of the school day with the idea she can focus on her homework at aftercare has been a mixed bag. She is mostly an A student when she does the work. One class this year she had all A's on the in-class work and straight F's on the homework; didn't turn in a thing. The other problem is getting the teachers to "believe" there is an ADHD issue impacting her ability to organize and get work done. Because she sometimes does great and other times terrible, teachers believe she is doing this on purpose. It makes me nuts. I have met with teachers, principal, etc. etc. and e-mail them regularly for status reports. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it's a wash. If she starts improving, the teachers "relax" their efforts and the problems return. I hired my college-age nephews (she likes them and they have a certain "cool" factor which is very important) to pick her up after school several days a week. They work on their homework together at Starbucks. The noise level is just right for her, she has difficulty working in complete silence. It is helping her pass school. Things still aren't "perfect" and never will be. Another big help is she has a boyfriend this trimester. If she wants to get together with him, I have to see the physically completed work and/or receive confirmation directly from the teacher(s) that it is completed and they have received it. She thinks I'm a nag although sometimes just being in the room or general vicinity with her completing my own paperwork or chores helps to keep her focused. I also try to break things up. Offer a treat - - - brownies, watching "Vampire Diaries," going outside to hang with neighborhood friends; something we agree upon. She finishes an assignment or works steadily for 20-30 minutes, we break for the treat. After the treat, she has to work on another assignment to earn the next treat; and so on and so forth. The bad news is we can spend all weekend doing this stuff. When my husband was alive, we could trade off duties. Now it's just me and a big strain. I try to work in some "me-time or playdates" for myself once a week to provide some stress relief. I also read at night in bed after everyone is in bed which is a treat for me. Note the phrase "everyone is in bed." My daughter also is a night owl, so the deal is that she is at least horizontal and maybe reading a fun book or listening to the radio or a CD. I also schedule the computer and electronics to automatically log off at a certain time. When she is behind in school work, a continual problem every few weeks, all the electronics are blocked. Just watch falling into a rut and things getting too punitive. You have to break it up and be sure you're giving your child lots of positives or they start lying ("I did it at school" or "I have everything turned in" - - - NOT) or they give up altogether. Even if the positive is them focusing for five minutes and you just stick your head in the room to say "great" or "awesome," then leave helps. One, you have to be fast and comment before they are distracted and doing something you don't want them doing. Two, keep the praise simple and "not gushy." Otherwise, it comes off more like an insult, especially when they hit the teens. They know if they're doing well or not and see too much praise for just a little bit of work as an insult because they know their classmates are doing so much better. Sometimes I just walk in with a treat and leave it. I call it an energy boost to keep her going. I was recently diagnosed ADD (explains so much of my life), so I do kind of "get it" and why my Mom made me nuts on the homework issue my entire school career. The empathy helps.

Good luck. Everything works for a while, but may not last forever. You keep having to shift gears, especially as they age and stuff that worked before stops working. Just stay flexible, read lots of material like ADDitude and be ready to "flex" a lot.

Also, take care of yourself and hang in there! Don't beat yourself up. The fact that you're trying, blogging and don't give up speaks tombs!

Cheers, Diane :>)

Quote