I am upset that a physician told you that. :-( It's hard enough getting through the day as it is huh!!! Christie I am 54 and I had no idea that I was struggling with ADD until 10 years ago when I had to change internists. I have other medical issues that warrant me being followed by an internist. He refers me to other specialists as needed. I had to find a new one 10 yrs. ago. I was a nurse practitioner in women's health care at the time, with a masters in nursing and national certification as a nurse practitioner. I am now retired, I was familiar with ADD, but my real passion was obstetrics and gynecology. I loved taking care of pregnant teens and young women. Helping them learn about infant care, parenting and the life changes that come with raising a child.

Work was my passion and I loved it. Got along well with everyone. Great, positive feedback from clients and supervisors. My only troubles were with intimate relationships with men. After 2 marriages I had just decided that I slept through that part of "Life Skills" ha :-O. I've been single for over 12 years and its okay. I have a 30 yr. old son and daughter-in-law who live in the same city I do. My parents are both deceased and my siblings live out of state.

Refocus, redirect. I go bouncing into the new internists office that fateful day in late Dec. 1999. Little did I know that this man would not only see all the signs but send me straight to a psychiarist who specialized in ADD, for a visit that day I must share how the 1st appt. went.... He came into the room and started asking about my med. history. I had my list and my health conditions written down. (Practice what you preach). I thought things were fine, I felt comfortable with him and about 5 minutes into the visit ...

REALITY CHECK FOR LISA...... He got up and came to where I was sitting, took my hand and looked right into my eyes and very gently said "Lisa, either you didn't take your medicine this morning or no one has had the nerve to tell you. In the past 5 minutes you have cried, dug in your purse, looked out the window and not finished one thing you started to tell me without jumping to something completely different. You have all the signs of ADD and I am going to help you." What, me , that's in kid's, I feel ok. I thought I felt ok.

The psychiatrist he sent me to that day was so kind and understanding. I know I looked like I had just been blown out of a cannon!!! He said that ADD is something you are born with and even though there wasn't testing, awareness, or specialists in that field of medicine in the 1950's, the behaviors were there just like they are today. Its a miracle that more children weren't put out to pasture or put up for adoption!!!! OR WORSE ;-O He instructed me to call my family, find a time when my parents and brother and sister could spend the afternoon answering a few questions and telling their memories, good and bad, of living in the same house with me. Fortunately we all lived in the same state at that time.. I only had to drive 120 miles, everyone else was still living in the same town. He told me to take lots of paper and just sit down with everybody and have each one of them tell me how life with me was like as far back as they could remember. I am the oldest child, so my parents and my two younger siblings remembered tons. I was writing everything down and thinking to myself "so, other kids didn't seem so different from me, school was a breeze and I had tons of friends, "chatty cathy" to this day!!!" It was kinda like a reverse intervention. I typed it up and took the 15-20 pages back to the psychiatrist. He told me it was like reading from a med.school textbook on ADD/aloof subtype. He praised me for being able to bring back so much info. I told him I could barely write fast enough and that I really learned a lot of things others had to suffer through living with and raising me. Lots of stories of extreme risk taking behavior like climbing on tall trees with little branches that broke and falling, bicycle stunts, you name it. I will never forget how my life has changed since that brave and very clinically observant internist took my hand and said those words........... DID YOU FORGET TO TAKE YOUR MEDICINE TODAY LISA? As a health care provider and a patient who was clueless about her miss wired brain, I am willing to be the poster child/adult for all of us adults diagnosed and undiagnosed. We have to educate the non-add folks that we are not crazy, mentally retarded, ignoring of them. All the little boxes they try to make us fit in..... Everyday I learn of some cruel, senseless, hurtful words and actions taken towards those of us with "BEAUTIFUL MINDS". It makes me mad when others react out of ignorance, speaking before they think. Not caring enough to educate themselves about the differences that can exist among us. It takes faith and inner strength to walk on knowing we are doing the best we can every day to live with this 'gift' yes we are very special each in our own way. I won't say it has been easy, but it sure has been fun and I now realize that until I was 44 I was exerting a tremendous amount of emotional energy trying to act like I was like everybody else. Like I was normal?!! If there is a normal!?! Now I am very comfortable with this mind and I have a fairly good handle on how to live with it. Somethings I will always struggle with everyday and its hard and I have a bad day sometimes. God, my doctors and I know that I work hard taking care of myself as best I can. I have come to love being different in how I process and work through things. I have discovered a very intuitive and creative part of myself that is not ashamed or feels less than. I am just tweaked a little different. However just as smart and lovable as the other folks on this planet. There will always be folks who just don't want to try and see through the mess of wires to get to know me. Their loss. I live by the golden rule and that works quite well for me. Keep on believing in yourself and smile, laugh and remember how lucky we are to see the little things of beauty that so many others fly right by. Life is full of changes and surprises. Take one at a time. Take care of yourself first. Be kind to yourself first and the rest will come easy. I wish you a joyful journey. It will be OK. I take Vyvanse and meds for co-existing anxiety, PTSD. I feel great. I admit I have to use my cell phone for my med alarm! What ever works! Lists, sticky notes. A place for keys to live when not in use. You just figure out what works for you as you go along. Last thing nurture and delight in that beautiful mind because there is not another one like it anywhere!

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I thank you, Lisa, for sharing your story. This has been such a frustrating time! I have taken the liberty of securing a physician who is willing to help me out, and I am continuing to focus on some behavioral practices to keep myself in line. I have vowed, through this experience, to trust myself more. And to not be anybody's guinea pig.

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