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Thread : adhd diagnosed parent seeks clarification(?) or HELP (ANY at all..)  
4 May 2010 @ 2:12 AM
yyyknott Join Date: Tue 4th May 2010
Threads: 1 Posts: 1
adhd diagnosed parent seeks clarification(?) or HELP (ANY at all..)

i'm finding it Incredibly difficult to differentiate the term 'adhd parent'. seems it mostly refers to being the parent of adhd children. i'm kinda more looking for info re being an adhd-diagnose Parent. my own adhd diagnosis in no way precludes me from Being the mother i want for my non-adhd son, however - quite the opposite really. i cherish my mum-time, and thoroughly enjoy the total impulsivivity and truth that my adhd brings to my relationship with my son. of course i have self-doubts though, and can be pretty clueless, a large percentage of the time. i find myself wondering about what is normal ? how would a non-adhd parent do this ? and also, and most worryingly.. what am i Missing (eg what am i leaving out? what is my son missing Out on?), in terms of lessons for my son, and motherhood tasks / roles that i'm maybe just forgetting ? or never even noticed ? there's always the age old mum-job of introducing, teaching, and valuing the routine-ness of life, and it's necessity. and i'm constantly searching for those dam 'systems' that might make 'it' somehow better, more efficient.. but, alas, i ramble. my basic point really is just this.. so much help out there for parenting of adhd children. what about the parents' adhd ? chances are the kids got their adhd from Someone. and chances are that Someone has their own adhd issues that detracts Even More from their ability to be the one-in-control ??... ANY help Greatly Appreciated ;>

Yvette

laugh out loud ! and Smile Often !

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4 May 2010 @ 10:32 AM Reply # 1
RunningWithMyFive Join Date: Tue 4th May 2010
Threads: 0 Posts: 1
In the same boat!!

I am right there with you. My husband and I both have ADHD and I am pretty sure that my oldest (5 years old) and probably at least some of the other four children (4yr, 2yrs, and 1 yr old twins) will have/has ADHD as well. I love our home. It is extremely nontraditional at times due to the spontinaity of my husband and myself; we really have SO MUCH FUN! I am often complimented on how we have the happiest children/babies they have ever seen, but there are the down sides like forgetting to clip the kids finger nails that often make me feel like I have failed at so many parenting tasks. Since being diagnosed and able to make medication (after nursing or being pregnant for 5 years straight =P) I have made major improvements, but there are still plenty of slip ups. I am often misjudged as an unconcerned parent for these slip ups by those unfamiliar with my family and myself (which has been extremely hurtful and discouraging at times), but once people get to know us and realize that we dont mess those things up because we are not focused caring for our children, the loving warmth of our family overshadows the less than perfect detail management employed by my husband and myself. I find that lists are extremely helpful I use the 5x7 lined post it notes and stick them to the fridge. I also always schedule their next check up when I am leaving the dr office and put a reminder in my phone (I realized I can always reschedule, but tend to forget to schedule at all if it is not done immediately). For meals planning I know that a scheduled menu doesn't work but I list out meals and by everything we need for tehm so I can just look at the list to pick something instead of searching through the cabinets getting discouraged then heading out to the drive through. I haven't found any resources yet, so I am currently looking for a family/child psychologist willing to brain storm with me to make a more comprehensive plan that takes into the account that there is a gap between parenting theory and practice and the gap really grows when the parent(s) have ADHD. I want to sort out where to focus and what strategies are still effective if the parents struggle with consistency due to their ADHD. The first child psychologist treated me like I was crazy (psychologist"I don't treat ADHD adults" my thoughts "I know but you treat families, ADHD children and other children and you should know what my need from me as a parent and what strategies are going to work well when imperfectly implemented") I know there will be someone with the knowledge and willingness to help me I will let you know as my search progresses (If I remeber to LOL)

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5 May 2010 @ 12:59 AM Reply # 2
greenmom Join Date: Thu 20th Nov 2008
Threads: 1 Posts: 0
Also an add parent.

I find that I get judged for not doing things by the book. It may be in my head but I am always worried about ( at least when I take the kids to school) getting called to the principals office. I keep reading books & internet articles. I forget most of it & neeed to reread it. Some of it sticks. i REALLY want to learn so that I may be a better parent as well as help others out there. It is not easy to get help or a support system. I have had ppl tell me I don't need meds. Only my son does. Not to mention all the parenting advice that I do not ask for. I love my kids. I try really hard to be all I can be for them. SUMMER can't afford camp & I have never to plan a schedule & stick to it for long. Week 1&2 are great. then I forget to make the chart I wish I (the add mom ) had some help. I know what oath I want to be on I just need to be reminded sometimes. WHAT DO PARENTS LIKE ME DO ALL SUMMER?????????????????????????????????

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