I have a very good friend who is a social worker and she works in the school system . Maybe you have one in your school system they would observe your son for days so they get a real feel of the child. They also can and do make referals to neurologist and psychiatrist who deal with childhood ADHD . If he needs medication it would be told to you. Of course you always have the option to say "No". The medications don't make children zombies but instead allow to calm down enough to pay attention. Many schools can't handle ADHD children because we truthfully can't sit down for long periods > Just be aware homeschooling is great but it not easy. You must become teacher not MOM and make sure he stays on point. As they get older it can become harder . I had homeschooled my child until she was 14 and she is not ADHD . I just thought the schools sucked and when she wanted to go to highschool it was a very trying experience for her and my family because she wasn't in a school enviroment before so many of the childhood issues came up. Now she is very well adjusted and is doing very well in highschool . It can be very overwhelming to think your child may be ADHD but it not a disability unless you make it one . There are amny successful ADHDers out here. Peace to you and have a HAPPY Mothers Day......(Judi)

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If you don't think the diagnosis (if it was a diagnosis) is accurate ask for a second opinion (you may have to pay for this) and find out for sure. Have him tested for giftedness also if you think that is the real problem because it can look like ADHD when they are bored and fed up with school. The teacher has NO right to even talk to you about medication unless she carries a PhD. Does she? She can inform you that he is having issues, she can make observations and tell you everything she's tried to help him at school, but the line is drawn there. Of course if his behaviour gets bad enough at school she can have him removed from her classroom as well.

It is also really important to try and look at your son from a different perspective than just "mom". We tend to be very forgiving and when people tell us "he's a boy, they are all like that" it gives us permission to ignore problems seen by other people. You are right that he should have symptoms at home in order to receive a diagnosis. Just make sure you know examples of what you need to be looking for. It could be that you don't notice this behaviour at home because

1) it is the same environment you grew up in, and you have undiagnosed ADHD (this is almost how I became aware of having ADHD myself...look for information on untreated ADHD in women and see if it fits)

2) you are in denial - it can't be him it must be the teacher (possible of course, but seeing how he is with other teachers should straighten this out)

3) he is Gifted and you need to take care of that by having him tested for it. Gifted kids are not guaranteed to succeed just because they're smart. Gifted kids who also have ADHD are more likely to drop out or end up with big problems with self esteem, anxiety and depression.

I'm just throwing these out there as possibilities. They are things I have heard parents say before got in the way of them seeing the problems at home. It's just meant to give you something to think about. I really do think that sometimes kids are seen as ADHD by teachers when there are other possibilities. That's why you need to get to the bottom of it as I'm sure you are trying. Taking him out of school might be good, but it might also teach him to avoid situations that are difficult for him which can cause a negative cycle of avoidance making it more difficult for him to function in group situations.

Regarding medication, I implore you to not equate medication with turning children into "zombies" as it does nothing but further the stigma associated with ADHD medication. I do not believe ANY parent of an ADHD child "believes in turning them into zombies". My son has been on medication for over a year, and is definitely not a "zombie". In fact, the medication allowed him to calm down enough that he has more friends (because he's not making faces at them, or yelling at them for no reason, etc) and his teacher has commented many times that he is very caring and is better able to use his creative side and accomplish his goals. Zombie? Hardly. If anything medication allowed my son to come to life! Being "zombified" is actually a sign that the dose is too high or that it isn't the right medication for the child.

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