So, I'm 24, male, single and... well, if you don't mind listening to my story and answer my question on motivation and whether or not my "story" is normal I'd be really grateful. Sorry its so long, but I hope at least one person manages to find there way here and respond to my thoughts.

Currently I'm taking Concerta - which, I cant' complain, helped me to focus (somewhat) although it definitely isn't a miracle drug. A while ago I was in a bad spot (undiagnosed) - doing nothing, staying at home (I was in an apartment, but I won't even mention the disaster that happen with my roommates...) in the end, I was left jobless and interestingly enough tried to go back to school.

I tried to go to school for about a year (four quarters I guess) but I ended up failing three classes. I was always the B average student who never studied, but whose A's, B's and C's always averaged out to "B". I never picked up good studying habits OR had motivation during my early school years to "get a job" or graduate (any) school.

Now I'm trying to become (don't laugh at me... >.<) a writer, I know I can but I feel that maybe my ADD is working against me. I mean, I want to get a job, write full time on the side, clean up the house (parental units are full time) and generally help out but.... I don' t know.

This is around the time I started taking the medication and I went from 'lazy video gamer' to... "occasionally will do something productive/write/work on cleaning".

But I have to ask my fellow ADDers here: have you ever felt that, even though you are "progressing" its very, very, very slow?

PLUS when trying to self-employ/study, have all the past years of metal thinking "I can't do this" or even normal fears like "if I try to start writing now, I don't want to fact the fact that I might not be as good as I think I am" coupled with "I'll never get better if I don't like what I do now". This thinking sends me backwards, and since I have no monies for therapy, I know my ADD brain is using this as an excuse to do everything BUT write/study. Even cleaning my working space/room, which is important, seems to take an abnormal priority .

While I've read many articles all about creating a schedule, study habits, how to get motivated with ADD, post it notes - you name it, I've probably looked at it at least once. But for some reason I can't get "motivated" to work even though I really REALLY want to! I feel so bad wanting to write full time, you know - try it out, get a part time job on the side - be, well, NORMAL. Which is highly over-rated.

Any advice for me? It seems that person-to-person advice always seems to work out better then some generally-written article. Sorry its so long, but I'm the LEAST social person in town. I don't have any friends I can hang out with (either they live too far or work/school full time). Plus I don't talk to people much, and don't know how to go about 'making friends'. Since I never keep in contact with anybody unless they, well, live nearby. >.>

Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you can help! This community seems friendly, so here I am. o.o

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