I was laid off from my job back in September, so there is no way I can justify the cost of an ADD coach. But my 9 year old son also has ADHD, so he is struggling with school and I feel like I can't help him! My house is a mess, my life is a series of unfinished projects and things are forever getting lost or forgotten. I actually feel like my ADD-related problems have gotten worse since I've been out of work, probably because there is now not enough structure to my days. Left to my own devices, I am failing miserably. I suspect a coach would help because I'm sure a lot of my problems are just bad habits that are so ingrained that I can't even recognize them as such! One thing I have been trying to do for myself is to cut myself some slack. Don't try to fix everything all at once (easier said than done, I know). Just try to focus on one issue that is really bothering you and give yourself time to work on that one thing. And give yourself credit for the improvements you make!! As an example, I started working really hard at making sure my bills get paid on time. I took the time one day to enter all my bills in my bank's online bill pay screen, and set it up to send me email reminders. I also use Quicken and have all my bills scheduled so they show up on a monthly calendar. Then I had to develop the habit of actually reading those emails and checking that calendar. Then I had to muster up the discipline to actually sit down and pay the bills when they come due. It has taken me months, but I am finally on track. I can honestly say for the first time in years that I am current on all my bills and I still have money in my account! Now I am working on reminding myself of that accomplishment whenever I start to feel overwhelmed by all the other things that I still struggle with. One day at a time.......

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I find online banking has been a huge help for me. I income average my utilities-meaning my water bill is about 40-42/ month So I set up a 45/month. after a while i get a small credit and then every 3 months or so i go in and pay the exact amount. I do this with all my bills. when i have a credit card balance, i put down the minimum and then try and make extra payments to pay off the balance. by doing this I have saved mulitiple late fees that i kept getting and interest rate hikes on credit cards and had to put an extra deposit on my power bill. i am doing better but still a work in progress. we did the financial peace course/dave ramsey and that helped us get control over the finances. and helped the feeling of helplessness.

I know this isn't the answer you probably wanted but maybe you could buy a book on getting organized and sometimes that gives the boost to get back on track until you can find/afford the coach. also, do you have a friend who is organized that maybe you could have coffe with. i have done this many times over the years and have had great insights from friends and they would be like temporary accountability partners. One friend even came over when i was drowning in laundry and she said let's jam. she helped me one winter when i was at a very low point. I don't know your particulars but could u barter with that person. babysitting, pet watching, making a meal are simple ways to payback.

hth, elke

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You have a really good idea - one thing at a time. I think the first thing I need to work on is cutting myself some slack. That is so difficult for me to do! I know I have good days where I actually get things done, but I find it really difficult to remember those. I will focus on being nicer to myself. Maybe writing down the things that I accomplish so at the end of the day I can look back and know that, even though I get mad at myself for not getting anything done, I have proof that at least SOMETHING got done. And remembering that anything is better than nothing!

Thanks again for the positive message. It really helped today!

Elke, thanks for your ideas. I bought Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover a number of years ago and have been trying to get my husband to read it. His idea of getting us back on our feet is to work 20 hours a day. I need to talk to him about the idea of not working more but spending less. I have been suggesting turning off our cable for years, actually, but he is the one that always vetoes the idea. Maybe now he will be more willing to listen, since our situation has gotten worse recently.

As far as bartering with friends, I am, unfortunately, one of those people who doesn't have a lot of friends. You know..the ADDer who tries too hard and ends up scaring people away. The one good friend that I do have works 6 days a week herself and I hesitate to ask her for anything. I actually have an acquaintance who is a professional organizer and would love to have her come over and work with me but, again, my husband (or at least his pride) gets in the way.

I will keep trudging along though and trying to think of something.

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I have frequently found myself in the same situation. I have tried all kinds of things to keep myself on track. Lists (which do work for me, as long as I remember to look at them), organizer (both paper and electronic) and even a pocket voice recorder. I would forget the recorder was in my pocket until 3 or 4 days later. The only way I have found to make life work is to have a system. I never remember anything so I have to rely on repetition. I always put my wallet my left front pocket, pen in the right. I am now conditioned to know that if they’re not there then I left them in the last place they were used. It doesn’t stop me from losing them it just reduces the number of places I need to look in order to find them.

I’m an incessant list maker. I carry a small yellow pad around with me everywhere. I usually make a list of the things I need to do the next day before I go to sleep at night. While I’m working, if I see something that distracts me from the task that I’m supposed to be working on, I write the new thing on the bottom of the list and go back to the task at hand. Again, this doesn’t always work but it gives me a place to start from. I find that writing it down gives my brain a chance to drop it knowing that it won’t just be forgotten.

One other thing would be clutter. Since everything has to have a place so it can be put back, clutter is the enemy. Looking at a room with stuff everywhere my brain tries to focus on each thing and nothing gets done. The more orderly you can make things the better. It has taken me 40+ years but I’m now starting to get the hang of not keeping every scrap of paper or every little nick-knack I’ve ever gotten.

I hope some of this helps, even just to know that you’re not alone with the issue. Another thing you might want to try is to check out CHADD http://www.chadd.org. They might have a local group in your area that you could join. It would help to have others with the same issues you can talk to.

Good luck.

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I have struggled with organization and completing goals all of my life. I was diagnosed with ADHD 15 years ago and have since learned and developed many techniques for dealing with these problems. Wanting to help others who have the same problems, I became an ADHD Coach. I have written a report on focusing, organizing, and achieving goals. You can download it from my website focusontask.com. If you need more help, please write me at ben@hyperfocuscoach.com and we'll see what I can do for you. I have several slots in my calendar for scholarship clients. I just want to help people, because there was no one to help me. I've been able to overcome some of my problems and I want to share what I have learned. If you download my report please let me know if it helps. I am always open to suggestions on how to make the report better.

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