Hi Venus: Congratulations on seeking help, and it sounds like you are moving in the right direction!!

I don't think there are any medications that will your communication skills. But now that you are doing better with your medication, it would be a good time to focus on communication skills, since you are better able to focus. I've heard this from ADD professionals. - "Pills don't give you skills" Working with an ADD coach could be really helpful to you rnow. Does your employer know about your ADD. I'm wondering if your employer has an Employee Assistance program that would cover some coaching costs. If not, investing in an ADD coach would be well worth it. Best wishes on your journey Babs

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Thanks for your reply! My employment does have an assistance program, and it works great for problems with finances, family issues, and the like. Unfortunately, I work at a hospital that's preparing to lay off people, and they strongly frown on disabilities. No one there may do patient care if they wear splints or other assistive devices, for example, because the possibility of "infection." Letting my employer know I have ADHD would likely jeopardize my position (I'm a respiratory therapist). Alas, they do not have support groups in my area for ADHD.

That said, I do go to a psychologist regularly, and I will approach him about a ADHD coach. I think I'm not sure it may be covered by my insurance. Venus

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I hear you , Venus. In today's job market, you do need to be careful. My concern is that if your supervisor is already taking note of your communication problems, you need to do something.

Is there a trusted coworker who could provide you with some insight into your issues? We ADDers are often not very self-aware,and it helps learn how others see us.

Can you think of particular situations where you get into trouble? Where and when do you have problems with communication. And with whom? If no trusted coworker is available, journling can be helpful. You could write in your journal for a few weeks about the where, when and whom. Then bring this information to your therapist, or a coach if you can locate one. This can be very helpful.

Babs

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I am most likely to have trouble with communication during hectic times and when I'm working with people who don't know me well. Communication affected me on the outside too - more so because I have trouble reading body signals & expressions. I am taking this to my therapist, and will start keeping a journal.

I also have trouble with my vision, and the therapist feels that my visual problems (blind in one eye and cataracts) aggravated my difficulty reading signals. Because I am a respiratory therapist and work closely with patients, I don't feel it would be wise to own up to ADHD (but they know about the vision thing and made an accommodation).

I appreciate your help.

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I share partly your same problem. I have been working as a nurse for 6 years and just graduated from a long degree. I worked in the community for a good while where I didn't have to put up with the 'bitching' and gossip from co-workers in the wards. I arrived new to a ward and one of my co-workers said to me "thank god you're here" I thought she needed my help but, she was glad to have a male on the ward. I soon found out why.

My clients love me- well thats what I hear. I can recommend a book " Body language by Allan Pease" I read when I just left high school and it really helped me pick up signals from patients and the general public. I still have the impulsiveness and didn't recognise it till I read some things about ADHD and realised there was a strong likelihood of it in both my partners family and my own. I just learnt to bite my tongue so that pt will tell me more when getting info from them. It also stopped them from being lead by me- as you know there can be a huge pysch aspect of it. Emotional manipulation in the job is a big problem with pts. I obviously can't help you with the cataracts - laser surgery might help. But I highly recommend the book. cheers

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I spoke with my therapist yesterday and found out that PA has a poverty of coaches. But the journal went well, and it might help me get more out of the sessions. This was the first time I heard about the concept of "leading patients" I wonder if I'm doing that. As you can tell, I'm a newbie at this I intend to get the book on body language.

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i have an ADD Coach.. she is actually a social worker ./ regular therapist, but she specialized in adhd....if your insurance would cover a regular mental health person, you need to make phone calls to find one that has some familarity with adhd... i tried a few until i found my one now. there are times when she is simply moral support... there are times where she works with me on building a schedule, limiting online time, identifing time wasters,, things like that. you can find some of that in books and simply by readind some forum posts here by people who have figured it out, the hard way.

there is a broad range of body language and in adhd style, you might find all sorts that are great to know, but not relevant to you or your workplace.. where does the disconnect happen, what is the general problem? identifying someones signals that they are interested in meeting you at a bar, is great to know, but if your problem is physically occuping someones personal space since you are going in closer to see better, and they are finding that unsettling generally speaking, you would be better to think about taking a baby step back.

with adhd... think distractions.. you are actually picking up and responding to all sorts of stimuli.. its not a lack of anything that your missing... its taking it ALL in and trying to figure out what is the right things to respond to, and what you need to ingnore...

try closing your eyes, not with a patient setting, but in a similar situation, even just watching tv... and just listen... listen for changes in pitch. you can hear people ramp up their emotions, you can hear people talking agitated or relaxted or excited. practice listening..... you will find that your ears, if you limit visual distraction, will help you hear and anticipate the patient getting agitated frustrated etc. once that is recognized, then you can apply the proper solution,... understanding if its you personally, the procedure, the setting, the time they spent in the waiting room, etc that has them agitated.

If your eyesight is your perceived weakness, accept that, you got bad eyes, now listen better. just focus.

good luck

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I've been on Strattera for five years and it has made a world of difference in how much more clearly I can think. I still have some trouble, but it it better. As far as social cues, I've learned a lot in the past few years. Before, I could barely pay attention to what a person was saying. I didn't have any attention left to see any body language. That book looks good (thanks Dan). If you are thinking about investing in coaching make sure you find a coach who has specific training in ADD/ADHD coaching, like ADD Coach Academy. Regular coach training doesn't address the special needs of ADD clients. By the way, coaching is done over the phone, so your coach doesn't have to be in PA. If you would like to talk more about this, let me know. I would be happy to call you to discuss your needs and how coaching can help.

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Since you are already seeing a professional, I think that you should ask about some testing to see if you may have Aspergers - which is on the Autism Spectrum. While many people with ASD may have ADD or ADHD symptoms, the primary deficit is in the social area- reading body language and facial expressions, understanding non-verbal cues, eye contact, predicting what the other person is thinking, feeling, or planning to do. (Even if you do NOT have Aspergers, you may still gain some benefits from some of the social skills materials which are targeted for that population. Good luck!) If you receive this label, you should be able to find a wide variety of resources. If you have any difficulty, please feel free to contact me, and I will be glad to help you find some resources in your area, or the on-line community!

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Aloha, I was diagnosed with ADD 7 years ago, and I am so glad to know why I have been so different all my life. Communicating has always been a problem for me along with forgetting, poor attention, boredom if something ws not stimulating enough for me--like a job, school, conversations etc.. I tried Strattera and it helped some but I had always been depressed too and did not know it. iworked as a RN for over 30 years, which now shows me how intelligent I really am. One day I got hurt at work, which eventually caused me to have a spinal fusion, getting hooked on pain pills, yes life was hel for over 2 yearsuntil I finally had the surgery. No thanks to workers comp.! After I started recoverying from surgery, I noticed what a space case I was,,I couldn't focus, make a decision, my memory was not good at all, and forget aving a good conversation with anyone, I forgot words frequently; this was very scarey for me to admit, but I decided I wasn't going to live like this anymore and went to work rying all kinds of medications, reading books, joined CHADD,I tried biofeedback and much more. Now 7 years later, what really helped was first accepting all my perceived problems in having a "normal life". I will never have a normal life ,but I have begun on a path of having an exceptional life. All thanks to what had happened to me. After a lot of challenges trying medications/and or no medications I have found for me that Wellbutrin XL, Adderal and trazadone for sleep brought me to a point where I was capable of handling my life, pluss I added meditation, Pramahansa Yogananda's way of teaching me how to meditate is the best for me because I must focus on different parts of the meditation using certain mantras, and other techniques to keep my mind busy enough at first to keep at it until it began working which then gave me the incentive to continue. It wasn't easy at first but I wanted the things meditation has to offer, stronger focusing skills,relaxation and a sense of peace which is a great part of my life now. Then I added hatha yoga for my body and mind and it helped my focusing and remembering. I read a lot about this dis-ease, even though my retention factor is very poor. Feeling a little better about my self I went back to college to take courses that I was really interested in. This was very hard for me but ADD is a recognized disability and I had a lot of fhelp because of this. I was able to tape all my classes, get up and move around whenever I needed to, choose someone who would take notes and give me a copy. I had to focus on the instructor, not take notes then because I would really lose focus doing that. Any university or college has help through their disability program and resources for all kinds of challenges. I was really challengedbut, it help my communication skillsand memory and more. I found Compassionate Communication program thru a friend and it can be found onthe internet. This program is focused on how to communicate, listen and respond with caring and compassion.It teaches you how respond to people in a way that is non-threatening and shows them you really heard what they said. This is a great program, and on thier web site, you will find out a lot more including where you can find groups involved in this process. Most people could learn a lot from this course, and this will impress your boss, because it really makes a difference. I found that coaching was too expensive for me to use long term, and it was hard to find someone who understood my type of ADD. I was tired of depending on others to tell me what I should do. But that's me. I play different mind games daily, which helps me in diffeent situations, and it keeps m brain working. Discrimination is against the law, and in a medical setting discriminating against someone with disabilities, which ADHD is, it is even more so. An empolyee who works hard, is always truthful, goes beyond what her duties are when appropriate and asks questions when she doesn't know something is a very coveted employee who will stay employed when others are let go. There are so many ways to enjoy your job and not worrying about . I hope this makes sense. Good luck and many Blessings, getting laid off isa big one. If you live in fear, that fear will eventually come true because that iss what you are focusing on.. Please get your eyes taken care of, having your cataracts removed will make a big difference in your site and your self-esteem. It is a fairly simple proceedure these days, at least check it out..

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Aloha, I was diagnosed with ADD 7 years ago, and I am so glad to know why I have been so different all my life. Communicating has always been a problem for me along with forgetting, poor attention, boredom if something ws not stimulating enough for me--like a job, school, conversations etc.. I tried Strattera and it helped some but I had always been depressed too and did not know it. iworked as a RN for over 30 years, which now shows me how intelligent I really am. One day I got hurt at work, which eventually caused me to have a spinal fusion, getting hooked on pain pills, yes life was hel for over 2 yearsuntil I finally had the surgery. No thanks to workers comp.! After I started recoverying from surgery, I noticed what a space case I was,,I couldn't focus, make a decision, my memory was not good at all, and forget aving a good conversation with anyone, I forgot words frequently; this was very scarey for me to admit, but I decided I wasn't going to live like this anymore and went to work rying all kinds of medications, reading books, joined CHADD,I tried biofeedback and much more. Now 7 years later, what really helped was first accepting all my perceived problems in having a "normal life". I will never have a normal life ,but I have begun on a path of having an exceptional life. All thanks to what had happened to me. After a lot of challenges trying medications/and or no medications I have found for me that Wellbutrin XL, Adderal and trazadone for sleep brought me to a point where I was capable of handling my life, pluss I added meditation, Pramahansa Yogananda's way of teaching me how to meditate is the best for me because I must focus on different parts of the meditation using certain mantras, and other techniques to keep my mind busy enough at first to keep at it until it began working which then gave me the incentive to continue. It wasn't easy at first but I wanted the things meditation has to offer, stronger focusing skills,relaxation and a sense of peace which is a great part of my life now. Then I added hatha yoga for my body and mind and it helped my focusing and remembering. I read a lot about this dis-ease, even though my retention factor is very poor. Feeling a little better about my self I went back to college to take courses that I was really interested in. This was very hard for me but ADD is a recognized disability and I had a lot of fhelp because of this. I was able to tape all my classes, get up and move around whenever I needed to, choose someone who would take notes and give me a copy. I had to focus on the instructor, not take notes then because I would really lose focus doing that. Any university or college has help through their disability program and resources for all kinds of challenges. I was really challengedbut, it help my communication skillsand memory and more. I found Compassionate Communication program thru a friend and it can be found onthe internet. This program is focused on how to communicate, listen and respond with caring and compassion.It teaches you how respond to people in a way that is non-threatening and shows them you really heard what they said. This is a great program, and on thier web site, you will find out a lot more including where you can find groups involved in this process. Most people could learn a lot from this course, and this will impress your boss, because it really makes a difference. I found that coaching was too expensive for me to use long term, and it was hard to find someone who understood my type of ADD. I was tired of depending on others to tell me what I should do. But that's me. I play different mind games daily, which helps me in diffeent situations, and it keeps m brain working. Discrimination is against the law, and in a medical setting discriminating against someone with disabilities, which ADHD is, it is even more so. An empolyee who works hard, is always truthful, goes beyond what her duties are when appropriate and asks questions when she doesn't know something is a very coveted employee who will stay employed when others are let go. There are so many ways to enjoy your job and not worrying about . I hope this makes sense. Good luck and many Blessings, getting laid off isa big one. If you live in fear, that fear will eventually come true because that iss what you are focusing on.. Please get your eyes taken care of, having your cataracts removed will make a big difference in your site and your self-esteem. It is a fairly simple proceedure these days, at least check it out..

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I have an eye doctor’s appointment on April 23, 2010, so I will find out the score about cataract surgery versus stronger glasses. I did since reading this forum (and thanks so much greatly!) become aware that I have to stand awfully close to the nurses so I could read the cardiac monitor heartrate (due to eyesight), so I began excusing myself and explaining why I had to do so. My provider thought that my vision could be causing problems with visual cues. The thought crossed my mind that I should ask my psychologist about Asberger’s, since I have an issue with the social cues. It so happens I have a grand niece with autism. I had in mind to do a journal and discuss this with doctor today but he took sick. So we rescheduled the appointment. That said I started Strattera around November, and find that the focusing is much better. Can someone have Asberger’s AND adhd? I am receptive to patients’ tone of voice – it’s the face and body language I can’t read. And it’s caused a lot of unnecessary grief – the other day a patient got real upset when I offered a breathing treatment and explained why. The nurse did the explaining for me and got through to the patient. Next day, the patient apologized to me because she was feeling better. A better way to communicate would sure make life easier for me, the nurse, and the patient. My sense of humor, willingness to help, and fascination with Mylar balloons has endeared me to my coworkers, but the hospital can be very uncharitable regarding disabilities – I found this out the hard way when I wore both wrists in splint several years due to arthritis. Back in 2008, I was banned from working with the splints, got a temporary accommodation when I said the word “lawyer,” and joint replacement / repair. Since my experience with the wrists, I am reluctant to say the word disability, although my coworkers and supervisors know about and are okay with the vision problems.

I think I am still trying to make peace with ADHD – maybe about 75% there but not 100%

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