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Learning as much as you can
I think the best thing you can do for your child is learn, learn, learn, which is exactly what you are doing. My son was diagnosed late and I was the one who finally said "something is not right" and took him in for testing. Up until then, everyone thought he just wasn't living up to his potential. I have gone through the 504 process, but for various reasons, I haven't been satisfied with the outcome. There is a long list of things, but it is no one's fault, it's just that there are no easy answers and everyone is learning as they go.
I will say though, that the best thing I have done was to set up an organization system at home that is very concrete and predictable for all involved. Every hour of the evening has an activity that is given a star when it is completed. If he does all things on the list, then he gets 1/2 hour of T.V. time, computer or a game. It is very important that we stick to this plan as closely as possible for his sake as well as ours. He actually becomes much less stressed and I try to break things down into chunks so that he isn't spending too much time on one activity. For certain activities, I even set the timer. He complained at first, but now he tells me he is relieved.
I also have changed my expectations. I decided that it is most important to me that he understands what works best for him, which means I have educated him on ADD and we learn together. At first, he resisted this, but the more conscious he has become of how his brain works, the better he has become at being his own self advicate. Don't get me wrong, he is still a teenager and he still has a lot of growing up to do, but as long as we are moving in the right direction, I don't sweat over the small stuff anymore.
If you want more ideas that have worked well for me and my son, I would be willing to talk back and forth on a regular basis. I have become stressed just like you and everyone else dealing with this, but the more you build a community of support and the more you learn from people who are going through the same thing, the more progress you will see which is ultimately the end result you want.
One final thing, it is going to be a long process and in the beginning of this, my goal was to find one thing that was "the answer" to all the problems. I now know that this is a complex problem that needs to be addressed on many fronts and each day is a day to learn and grow and to do the best I can, but even if things don't seem to be working, don't give up! My son tells me all the time "thank you! He is happier, more at peace with himself and will eventually be able to help others. He might not have the best grades in school, but he has the best grades in life, and that's what really counts.
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25 Mar 2010 @ 2:02 PM
28 Mar 2010 @ 2:09 PM