Hi. My son is 11 yrs old next month and has been diagnosed with ADHD since he was about 8. We have gone to a therapist along with an ADHD Family Training Course. Is your son taking meds for ADHD? Has he been officially diagnosed? There is so many things the school can do to work with him on his work, but I don't agree with taking away all of his toys because of what is going on at school. What is his age? Depending on his age you can do alot of things in regards with you helping him to work better at school. I think we would need to know the following to give you practical advice. How old is he?What grade? and the questions I listed above. Looking forward to talking with you soon.

Pam

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this is my first time posting to this blog, but your question caught my eye. My son is 7 & was tested at age 5 for ADHD. He came back as non-ADHD & non-ADD. He does however exihibit many, many of the symptoms. Yes, there are alot of questions that need to be answered w/ each child as far as what the behavior in question is. As far as your child, what behavior gets him a zero, what get him a plus? My son struggles, I believe, everyday in school. Plus he is a boy and boys just do stuff naturally that go against what a school would consider appropriate. So add in some ADHD behaviors and you have a daily struggle. I communicate w/ his teacher as much as she is willing and ask her to let me know not just the negative, but something positive from his day. That is really what we need to be talking about. If he did it right once, he can do it right again! We try not to punish him for things that happen at school (unless they are really, really bad stuff), the school is punishing him in their own way, be it sitting out at recess or sitting away from the other kids, etc. How defeating for any child to be punished all day, at school and then at home. When incidents come up, I try role playing with him how he could have handled the situation better, he really likes this and I usually find out more to the story of 'how/and what' happened because as he is acting it out, he remembers more of the specifics. Sometimes you can get a really good insight into what your child is or is not capable of doing buying role playing. Then I will ask him the next morning to work on one behavior, asking him to just clean up his act entirely would be impossible for him to mentally manage. So I might say, 'what I want you to focus on today is, pay full attention during reading group. No wiggles, no talking, no silly's , just listen and look at the teacher. I want you to do your absolute best at this today, and then I am going to ask you about it when you come home. I know you are going to be great!' Take the pressure off all the rest to give him a chance to practice one good behavior even if it is just for 15 min. during story time. Then I ask him only about that one behavior when he comes home, even if he has a note of other poor behaviors sent from school, I only focus on the one thing I wanted him to focus on. I can usually praise him for a job well done then, instead of dwelling on all the things he did wrong. Sometimes you have to let the other negative behaviors go in order to give them a boost of self confidence. Small victory's can turn into many victory's over time.

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Thank you for your advice. I wondered about the punishments coming from home as well. For the reasons that you mentioned and also because I felt that he needed the reprocutions to come right away instead of waiting until he got home. they just give him plusses or zeros and they want the reward/punishment to come from home. I guess they have found that it has worked well in the past. I am seeing that they (his teachers) are realizing he does better with immediate reinforcement. They are starting to use some tools in school that are working. My son has shown a huge improvement in school since I posted this. He got only one zero two days in a row and yesterday he got all plusses!!!! This is hard but he is proving to himself that he can do it. I was worried about setting him up for failure and worried about how this would effect his self esteem but I actually am seeing him feeling better about himself and his abilities! Hard work pays off. Also-he is getting creative at home. Instead of just being entertained with toys he is actually forced to get creative and make puppets etc.

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Generally children like to do the right thing. It is unrealistic for one to expect a 7 year old child to make it through the day without making mistakes....especially one who may have AD/HD. The impulsivity that a child with this disorder possesses is difficult for them to control. They are not bad kids. They are kids who are overstimulated easily. Until these children are taught how to use self-regulatory strategies, they will have difficulty in the traditional style classroom. Positive rewards for appropriate behavior will build your son's self esteem and give him something to work for. If he does not get all positive marks in the morning, why should he work hard in the afternoon. He's already lost his reward for the day. Also, taking all of his toys away, will cause him to be bored. Thus, he will find a way to entertain himself and it might not be something you prefer. Praise your little guy for the good things he does. Tell him your proud of the positive marks he received for the day. Allow him to receive a small reward for some success and a larger one for greater success. He will soon discover that good behavior will bring good things.

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hjordan29 said: My 7 year old son has not been diagnosed with add or adhd but he does have a lot of the behaviors that I have been reading about that are associated with add/adhd. He has had a behavior chart at school-we have seen improvement but after a meeting with his guidance counselor she felt we needed to get more strict and let him know that we really mean business. She feels that would help him. Before, if he got 4 zeros or less he would get rewarded at home. She feels that we really need to up the ante and should expect no zeros because that is really what we are aiming for for him. She also works one on one with him to teach him how to have more self control. Any way I had seen an episode of the Supernanny where they took all of the childs toys away and they could be earned back. That is what we did-he can earn a toy back if he gets all pluses and no zeros. We just started this on Friday the 19th. It has only been 3 school days but he hasn't come home with all pluses yet. Has any one else ever done anything like this? Does anyone have any advice. This is really rough!

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