We caught our daughter with her DS also, we did take it away, but not for 6 months. We tried the punshment, they really did not work, because soon she would forget what we took away. What we do now is she can play her DS, even in bed, but I set a timer. When the timer goes off, she has to hand over the DS. If she does not, she will lose if for the next day. I also give warnings about how much longer she has on the timer. Hope this helps.

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My daughter LOVES DS and she too has snuck the game into her bed and stayed up late at night, and that makes for a frustrating morning the next day. Personally I think 6 months is a little excessive, but I understand the frustration you must feel. How we work it is, the kids get to play DS on weekends only and I take the game at night/bed time, so there's no opportunity to keep playing it into the wee hours. Personally, I've found that positive reinforcement works better than negative consequences.

Don't get me wrong, all my kids receive punishments (and bad behavior during the week usually results in losing the DS that weekend), but goals with rewards work wonders! For example, since mornings tend to be hectic and frustrating for everyone because the kids don't have their homework in their backpacks, or they can't find socks, etc...I've told them if they prepare everything the night before and come down to breakfast on time and we're not late to school, etc. for the whole week, they are treated to an ice cream sundae at McDonald's on the weekend. Maybe a whole week is too hard to achieve,so start with 3 out of 5 days and then ramp up to 5 days eventually to receive the reward.

Another example, my daughter dislikes filling out her daily homework planner at school. So her homeroom teacher told her that if she fills out her planner everyday, she gets a check mark. When she has 5 check marks she gets the prize of a candy bar. Guess what, she really puts an effort into something she normally rebels against!

Every kid has a "currency" that's important to him/her. Use to as a reward. So perhaps your son could earn extra time with the DS for a goal achieved?

Hope this is helpful.

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wbender said: . my daughter dislikes filling out her daily homework planner at school.

This was a huge problem for my son when he was in elementary and middle school. Have you ever researched Fluid Reasoning? It explains so much of these types of behaviors. It's may not be that your daughter doesn't want to fill out her planner, perhaps it's just that she can't process looking at the board and think about writing the assignments down all at the same time. Just a thought........

My son has a extremely high IQ but his working memory is little more than half of his IQ. Now that he is in high school the planner isn't an issue but we hit that brick wall of his IQ not compensating and getting him by anymore. He has a learning disability in math and written expression. We always thought he just wasn't working hard enough and choosing not to do his work. Now we realize it was in fact quite the opposite. He works so hard during the day just to process all the information that he needs to that he is exhausted when he comes home.

Often many parents feel that their ADHD child is lazy and unmotivated. What child wants to be punished all the time? children most always want to please their parents. I agree that punishments backfire. Hind sight is 20/20. Long term punishments didn't work for my son because he truly did forget what he had done in the first place. Positive reinforcement has the most rewards for all parties involved :O) Good luck to everyone.....

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Did you mean to say 6 "months?" How old is your son?

Perhaps you can just take it from him each night, and keep the charging cord in your room by your bed. That way it will always get charged up, and you will know that he does not have it with him in the middle of the night.

Depending on how old your son is, it might be too much for your son to resist, considering that ADHD directly affects his impulse control. (We just can't think of our ADHD youngsters as if they are "normal" kids who are purposefully acting defiant and willfull... but sometimes they are. There is a fine line there, especially in older kids and teens.)

Taking the DS away for 2 weeks would probably be just as effective as 6 months, because it is the "taking away" that your son will hate. Time passes differently for kids with ADHD, and they sometimes do not grasp the concept of long-term consequences. I think this kind of harsh punishment will eventually lead to feelings of resentment and distrust between your son and you (which will result in a more explosive, uncooperative teenager later on). Any time you can come up with creative positive discipline over harsh punishment, it will be a benefit to your child's growth, and improve the entire family dynamics. Punishment creates resentment and fear. Discipline creates boundaries and respect.

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I also have been there many a time. Unfortunately six months is too long. I learned the hard way and wish I had someone to ask when my son was younger. I have a locked closet for all video games and keep the key with me at all times. They do not get to play video during the week(mon.-thurs.) and have to do homework,turn it in,etc. to earn time Friday,Sat. and Sunday. I have been way too strict and gotten Bad results. Now I'm on board with more positive reinforcement and shorten punishment to three days tops. For ADD or ADHD kids this is the only way. I hope this helps you. Patti B.

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I agree with the other statements about 6 months being too long...but I absolutely understand why you initially did 6 months. It can be so frustrating on us! It is hard at times...that is why this site is so wonderful to me, because it shows me other moms are going through the same behaviors...he really is so different after all! lol.

Anyway my son is always smuggling books, ds, lego guys into bed with him and pretends he is asleep when we come to check on him...it has gotten to a point that we pretend a conversation downstairs while the other goes sneaking up on him to find out if he is asleep. :0 We usually tell him put everything away "do you know what time it is" and basically our rule is if we go up by midnight and he is still awake he comes into our room and we have a big couch in there...which he doesn't like to sleep on...but if he is awake he is on it for the night. Additionally he hasn't gotten in trouble with the ds anymore because we luckily found a great lockbox at a yard sale and we have added "impulse" items like the ds to it so that he can have it during the weekend, but never during the week. We have also been having a problem with the computer, and him taking it to play games & etc. We set limits with him, but he would steal it and hide it upstairs...we just put a parental control on it and locked him out except for from 4-5pm everyday. Needless to say he is mad, but he will get over it. We typically try not to take things out of anger, but heck I am human so I do from time to time, but I know it is alot less now that we are adjusting to what works & what doesn't with him.

Hope this helps. good luck hun!

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Sounds like he is having problems sleeping. Have you ever had difficulty getting to sleep or waking in the middle of the night, you lay there and your mind just starts turning and won't shut off? If that is happening to him then he could be using the nintendo to redirect his thoughts (I use a book). Ask him if he knows why he is awake at 3:00, did a dream wake him, is he worried about something etc. If he never fell asleep in the first place well adhd meds are known for interfering with sleep and a lack of sleep makes the day that much more difficult for these kids. You may want to consider trying meletonine or teaching him some relaxation techniques to see if that helps solve the problem.

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My almost 8yr girl old will get up in the middle of the night and play the DS, \ "Funkeys" on the computer, or scale the kitchen cabinets for snacks and then hide the wrapper's under the bed or pillow. She knows thes thing are not allowed and has consequences for all. She doesn't do this every night, but it has been more often inspite of telling her that it is dangerous to climb on the counters and hoarding food is not a good habit to start. At any rate, I think we all enjoyed video games as kids. They want that getaway! She would play the DS, xbox, or computer for hours if allowed. When playing she is so engaged in this "Hyper focused zone" the transition of stopping is a whole other topic. I believe for us as the parents, we have to set limits on the times when they play and when they stop. If possible, I let her complete the game she is involved in and she is less likely to sneak one in in the middle of the night. I sometimes feel like a detective solving a mystery...

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