I couldn't believe it when I read your post because I could have written it myself about my 11 year old son. He has really wanted to have a guitar for a long time, but now that he has one he doesn't practice enough. His teacher even tells him every week that he hasn't practiced enough. We are only asking that he practice 15 min. a day. When we send him up to his room he comes down in about 5 min. and says that he is done. He gets very upset when we question him. It has become a huge battle and we have brought up the idea of dropping the lessons. The problem is that guitar lessons are expensive and I don't really see his behavior changing. I want him to feel good about something and he is very proud when he learns a new song. I really want something that will raise his self-esteem, but his progress is minimal.We are paying $700 a year for lessons. Also, the guitar was not cheap. We told him before he started that if we are investing that much in his guitar he would need to practice. I'm just not sure how to force him to practice longer and more often. I help my daughter with her piano, but I don't know one thing about guitar. My husband and I just don't know what to do. My son has a major problem with starting something and sticking with it. He has tried almost every sport and hasn't been successful. When things get tought he just doesn't want to try. Some of it may be laziness, but I also believe that his ADD plays a major part. Is it common for kids diagnosed with ADD to give up easily and not try when things get tough because my son has real issues with this. I'm afraid that this lack of trying is going to follow him into every aspect of his life. If anyone has advice about the guitar or lack of perseverance please help us!!

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In my experience kids with adhd do have a harder time staying with something new. I have 2 kids taking piano lessons, one with adhd one without. It was a struggle to get either of them to practice particularly in the beginning, the basics can be a bit dull. Has it been more of a struggle with my adhd child...yes, but it is worth it.

My Tips;

One of the most straight forward ways to encourage the practices is bribery, ie if you practice 5x per week you can have (in one of my cases it was a cinnabun).

Instead of sending him to his room to practice have him do it with you, it's ok if you don't know how to play the instrument. Better yet if possible sit in on a couple of lessons to see if you can get an understanding of it.

Try not to make the practice time a battle of wills. Remind him of the payoff for sticking with it. Have a tempting snack or activity for him to look forward to when he is finished.

It makes a big difference if they enjoy the songs they are learning, so make sure you have a teacher that recognizes that and lets them have input to the song choices.

The time of day they are asked to practice makes a difference as well. My son is much more cooperative in the morning then in the afternoon and the evening is the worst.

The benefits of all this extra effort will be worth it in the end (may not seem so right now, I know). Music is very good for their brains and if they can stick with it it has the potential to build confidence, provide a way to relax and it gives them a social benefit (guitar playing is cool). Hang in there, once they get to a level where they can see the results of their practice there will be less of a struggle (but it may never go away completely). Down the road you will see the results of all your hard work as well... when they thank you for helping them to stick with it.

Good luck!

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It frustrates me so much to see people ask things like "How can I force my son to practice guitar?"

You can't force him and shouldn't force him.

And quit using the money excuse to him as the reason he should practice. That is not what will motivate him. When he finds his passion you won't be able to get him to stop but until then let him try everything he wants. He will find it eventually. It may take many years so don't hold your breath. Just keep supporting and rewarding him when he does practice.

You say that he said he wanted a guitar. He didn't say he wanted to take guitar lessons. BIG DIFFERENCE! You probably jumped into the lessons track. Why force him to take lessons? Let him tinker with it...show him how to watch videos on You Tube about how to learn guitar and if it interests him, he will learn on his own or ask to take lessons.

Even without ADD, this is normal behavior for kids. It is the rare kid who is focussed enough to practice and instrument or a sport as much as a coach wants them to. That is why so few people get great at sports or music. So you don't have a prodigy...you have a normal kid...like most of us. Let him be normal and let him try differnt things til he finds the right thing at the right time for him.

Good Luck Eric

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My 11 yr old wanted a guitar. We did buy him one, but after much advice from guitar playing friends, started him in piano first. It's much easier to understand music looking at the keys in front of you, instead of the guitar. BUT - practice was/is still an issue. Have you asked your son if he wants to quit lessons? Maybe the teacher is not a good fit. We are lucky to have a great teacher - and I am actually taking lesson also, which helps a ton. Now, my son wants to do piano lessons for another 2 yrs (we have been doing them for 3 yrs now).

I will echo the other parent who suggests that you sit with your son. Yes, I know, it's ANOTHER time commitment. My son just wants me in the same room when he practices. Also, Praise him for playing something well. Ask your son if he likes the songs he is working on. If not, ask the teacher what options there are for other music or books. Also, talk to his instructor ahead of time and have the instructor talk to your son about practicing. I do remind my son that even professional musicians (insert his favorite band/singer here) practice alot -really alot!

We also bought a book that is way ahead of my son's current ability - but he really wants to play some songs in it. So it is a good carrot to get him to practice. Our instructor does a student of the month who gets trophy and their name announced at the recitals. A little competition can go a long way.

The practice battle will continue, but hopefully it will get better. One Mom I know told her daughter if she did not have enough practice time, her allowance would have to pay for the lesson. OR she could earn additional allowance if the lesson went well. It worked - for a while which is typical for ADHD kids. Then you have to find the next motivational reward and/or consequence.

Remember - just because he doesn't practice, does not mean he does not like guitar. Keep us posted - and be sure to share anything that works!

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