My whole adult life, I have been going from job to job, which caused anger and frustration. It would drive my ex-wife crazy, thinking that I was being lazy. She always thought that she had to pick up the slack for my underachievements. In 2007, living on Long Island and not able to afford a home, we decided to look for a more affordable home in the south. She found a house online located in South Carolina. We took a trip, looked at it and we decided to buy it, with money that was given to her from her mother. The house was a real fixer upper and I wasn't to crazy about fixing up a home. I believe my ADHD was responsable for for my lack of interest in fixing up the house. I still wasn't diagnosed with ADHD yet but I knew I had something because of my lack of motivation, job loss, depression, etc. Both me and my ex-wife didn't have jobs either when we moved, hoping we were able to find something when we moved. I have been studying web design in NY on my own. My ex didn't have a high school diploma and she worked as a carpenter. I found a job, which I'm currently still with at the local newspaper as their Web Administrator. Though people at the paper, I found my ex-wife a job as a carpenter in a small, local company. Time went on, and she was spending more time with the boss' son, who couldn't drive to to the facts he had too many DWIs and lost his drivers licence. She would take him shopping on the weekends, help him fix things - like his boat and other side jobs. I didn't think of anything at first, but later on I started to get suspicions that something was going on behind my back. I was right. I found a text on her phone one day, which read - I love you from him. I confronted her about it and she admitted to me she was in love with him. She didn't want to continue our relationship and she was tied of always "carrying" me. She told me that the new guy was simpler, more easy going and a harder worker. With no where else to go, I stayed at the house for 3 months, while she dated the new man. It ripped me apart! I moved into a new place and started my own life, still heartbroken about our breakup.

It's now 2 years later. She has recently been remarried to him and is having his child. I have been with the pain that if I didn't have this "problem", things would have been different. I just just recently diagnosed with ADHD through a councillor I am seeing because of my depression due to my breakup. I am not yet on medication but I have been prescribed Ritalin. I'm hoping that the medication will allow me to focus better on my work. It helps me take my mind off the disappointing events that occurred over the past years. I hope to find success in my life. I'm 41 and I'm scared to death.

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