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Thread : oppositional defiance in teen  
9 Mar 2010 @ 12:40 PM
carolp Join Date: Tue 9th Mar 2010
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oppositional defiance in teen

I'm new to this forum and this is my first message so i hope it gors through. I have a 14 y/o who was diagnosed with ADD in isr grade and has been on medication since. He has had an IEP since then and has always done fairly well in school. The problem now is his oppositional behavior in accepting or asking for any help in school. This has always been an issue with him throughout his school years, but now that high school is here and the work is much harder, he is failing some classes. When the teacher asks him if he need help, he says no and when I try to help him study at home, it turns into a sceaming match. He does poorly on tests due to memory problems and everything I try to help him with to study, he keeps saying NO, NO, NO. He says I can do it myself, then he usually fails the test. You would think he would then accept help, but then the refusals start all over again. In school they have homework lab, which I have made him go to, but then he again will not ask for help when there are teachers there. We are starting to see a therapist for parenting skills and the psychiatrist says the bevior modification is the only thing to do. I have been through very bad years with my aDHD daughter who is now 20 and is almost the same. She doesnt think she has a problem, but has flunked all her classes at junior college and thinks college is not important and plans to follow her boyfriend who is aimless and moving from state to state and job to job with no plans. Im afraid that as my son gets older and the teenager years, the defiance will get worse. All I see is a dark tunnel with no end in sight. Has anyone have any suggestions? Im sorry for the rambling message, but I have no one else to talk to. Unless a parent has experience with this kind of child, they have no idea.

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15 Mar 2010 @ 8:13 PM Reply # 1
Sally Join Date: Mon 15th Mar 2010
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Oppositional Deifance

I COMPLETLEY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!! I don't have any suggestions, I can only offer support at this time. This is all new to me, my 12 yr old son was just diagonsed last year with ADHD. We have had this battle since he was in first grade in doing his homework and asking for help! The screaming battles, attitude and frustration is way tooo much at times!!! I feel like giving up and running away but on the other hand it breaks my heart to see them struggle. The school that he goes to is only focusing on his defiant behavior and not trying to help figure out what the issue is because they feel he is capable of doing better. I had to call the school district in order to ask for an IEP. We are currently going through the IEP process. In your IEP process did they test your son for a learnig disability?

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15 Mar 2010 @ 8:13 PM Reply # 2
Sally Join Date: Mon 15th Mar 2010
Threads: Posts:
Oppositional Deifance

I COMPLETLEY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!! I don't have any suggestions, I can only offer support at this time. This is all new to me, my 12 yr old son was just diagonsed last year with ADHD. We have had this battle since he was in first grade in doing his homework and asking for help! The screaming battles, attitude and frustration is way tooo much at times!!! I feel like giving up and running away but on the other hand it breaks my heart to see them struggle. The school that he goes to is only focusing on his defiant behavior and not trying to help figure out what the issue is because they feel he is capable of doing better. I had to call the school district in order to ask for an IEP. We are currently going through the IEP process. In your IEP process did they test your son for a learnig disability?

Quote

15 Mar 2010 @ 8:13 PM Reply # 3
Sally Join Date: Mon 15th Mar 2010
Threads: Posts:
Oppositional Deifance

I COMPLETLEY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!! I don't have any suggestions, I can only offer support at this time. This is all new to me, my 12 yr old son was just diagonsed last year with ADHD. We have had this battle since he was in first grade in doing his homework and asking for help! The screaming battles, attitude and frustration is way tooo much at times!!! I feel like giving up and running away but on the other hand it breaks my heart to see them struggle. The school that he goes to is only focusing on his defiant behavior and not trying to help figure out what the issue is because they feel he is capable of doing better. I had to call the school district in order to ask for an IEP. We are currently going through the IEP process. In your IEP process did they test your son for a learnig disability?

Quote

15 Mar 2010 @ 8:13 PM Reply # 4
Sally Join Date: Mon 15th Mar 2010
Threads: Posts:
Oppositional Deifance

I COMPLETLEY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!! I don't have any suggestions, I can only offer support at this time. This is all new to me, my 12 yr old son was just diagonsed last year with ADHD. We have had this battle since he was in first grade in doing his homework and asking for help! The screaming battles, attitude and frustration is way tooo much at times!!! I feel like giving up and running away but on the other hand it breaks my heart to see them struggle. The school that he goes to is only focusing on his defiant behavior and not trying to help figure out what the issue is because they feel he is capable of doing better. I had to call the school district in order to ask for an IEP. We are currently going through the IEP process. In your IEP process did they test your son for a learnig disability?

Quote

15 Mar 2010 @ 8:13 PM Reply # 5
Sally Join Date: Mon 15th Mar 2010
Threads: Posts:
Oppositional Deifance

I COMPLETLEY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!! I don't have any suggestions, I can only offer support at this time. This is all new to me, my 12 yr old son was just diagonsed last year with ADHD. We have had this battle since he was in first grade in doing his homework and asking for help! The screaming battles, attitude and frustration is way tooo much at times!!! I feel like giving up and running away but on the other hand it breaks my heart to see them struggle. The school that he goes to is only focusing on his defiant behavior and not trying to help figure out what the issue is because they feel he is capable of doing better. I had to call the school district in order to ask for an IEP. We are currently going through the IEP process. In your IEP process did they test your son for a learnig disability?

Quote

15 Mar 2010 @ 8:13 PM Reply # 6
Sally Join Date: Mon 15th Mar 2010
Threads: Posts:
Oppositional Deifance

I COMPLETLEY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!! I don't have any suggestions, I can only offer support at this time. This is all new to me, my 12 yr old son was just diagonsed last year with ADHD. We have had this battle since he was in first grade in doing his homework and asking for help! The screaming battles, attitude and frustration is way tooo much at times!!! I feel like giving up and running away but on the other hand it breaks my heart to see them struggle. The school that he goes to is only focusing on his defiant behavior and not trying to help figure out what the issue is because they feel he is capable of doing better. I had to call the school district in order to ask for an IEP. We are currently going through the IEP process. In your IEP process did they test your son for a learnig disability?

Quote

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