All I can tell you is what I've experienced. ADHD and ADD run rampantly in my husband's very large family and negativity, low expectations, a lack of joy and exuberance for life, depression, anxiety, and health problems also run rampant. I would not have expected this but my husband and all his siblings and parents are also extremely strong-willed and controlling. (Tells you how much I knew about add/adhd before I got married!) How much negativity and controlling behavior are connected, I don't know. My strongest desire is to teach and train our 10 yr old son not to complain about things and to not be so overly sensitive but to feel empowered and confident that he can do good and great things...to look at the events of his world as good, hopeful, bright, happy and not twist things to see only the bad. The very best of luck to you and all of us! God helps me everyday. I hope you know Him too.

Quote

I can so relate! My son is 12 and has always done this. Everything is a drama with him. He gives me a hard time about taking showers, brushing his teeth, etc. Ironically to most people he's a great and thriving kid, but I worry what kind of a husband he'll be someday, since I'm divorced from his father who is Bipolar and almost impossible for anyone to deal with. My son has Sensory Integration issues and Auditory Processing issues. I've tried the conventional meds and a give him alot of vitamins and supplements to keep him healthy. Physically he stays really healthy since I got his allergies tested & treated with drops under the tongue. I've wondered if mine was Oppositional Defiant or Bipolar. I recently read to find ways to word things to a child that you'll know they'll agree with, like Do you want to get an A on your test?...Then let's... or Did you want your favorite meal tonight. It's like they start to let their guard down because they have to agree with so much of what you're saying!!!

Quote

my 15 yr old son has always been like that! never wants to go anywhere, not even to birthday parties with other kids. it's only last summer that he was diagnosed with ADHD, and finally we were able to breathe a sigh of relief, cause at last we realised what all that was coming from! he's still the same, only last thursday, he did not go to school (as he's in his last days now) and we went for a couple of hours by the sea........as soon as we arrived, he was asking what time we were going back home. i ignore him cause i know him well now. he was the same with baths at age 9/10/11, really used to give me a hard time, but these last couple of years he grew out of that :) Thank God!! i know how frustrated you all must be dealing with all this.

Quote

I am a special ed teacher and a parent of my own ADHD child. I do think that this kind of inflexible thinking, explosive responses, and negativity go along with ADHD. In fact, I've been to seminars which compare the inflexible thinking to the rigid thinking of autism. Similar, but not the same. I have one student this year in particular, who is just like your son. I wish the parents would have him screened for depression and OCD. Kids with OCD can be very negative when their routines are interrupted, or when they anticipate that their routines will be interrupted. In addition, medicines for depression in young students can also work on OCD. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps a lot, but in the case of being a teacher - not the parent - I can do nothing but hope and keep my fingers crossed. Good luck!

Quote

>> dolphin70 said: my 15 yr old son has always been like that! never wants to go anywhere, not even to birthday parties with other kids. <<

Holy moly, my 14-YO stepson is exactly like this! He has not been diagnosed ADD yet, but as a special ed teacher, I am fairly positive this is what is going on, probably exacerbated by other things like depression and anxiety. We have started worrying about these possibilities, as he has several emotional issues from early childhood that have not been addressed. He is also oppositional and negative about participating in therapy - shocker, huh? (Not!)

He hardly ever leaves the house, except an occasional video-gaming sleepover party at one particular friend's house. The XBOX is how he socializes! I want to throw that thing out the window. We have suggested clubs, sports, lessons of whatever kind, but he refuses. ("I'm all set." "I'm good.") I am at my wits' end!

Does anyone have suggestions as to how to counter this negativity? Or perhaps convince him that therapy and some kind of activity really are good ideas??

Quote

Dr. Ross Greene talks about some kids having problems because they are developmentally delayed in frustration tolerance, flexibility, and problem solving. He uses an approach called Collaborative Problem Solving to help teach these missing skills. See this link to do an assessment:

http://www.lostatschool.org/pdf/ALSUP.pdf

Also look at this site:

http://www.thinkkids.org/

I highly recommend "The Explosive Child" and "Lost at School" to read more about this and hopefully you will find them helpful to you.

Quote