Hello, I am a parent who has a son 8 yrs.old who was diagnosed at a early age with ADHD/AUTISM disorder. I wish I would of tried other alternative therapies before I decided to medicate my child. He is now currently not on any more meds. Personally they have too many side effects and can have a long term side effect on someones health. He was okay but it just seems like the meds just put a band aid over the problem. He was so distant and not himself sometimes. Now he is himself only better, but we do have our bad days just like everyone else. I know their are natural alternative therapies for your son and diet. Also maybe a behavoir therapist would be helpful and a holistic psychiatrist in your area.

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Hi Speciallyunique, thank you so much for sharing. That's so interesting that medication did not agree with your son - I guess one of the reasons that makes me hesitate at the moment, what if we go down the road and we spend ages trying to find the right medication or if we just can't find one at all? But, again, there are lots of reasons why we aren't using medication at the moment, not just that one.

Do you mind if I ask - since your son has come off medications you say he is himself, only better - what things have worked for you?

I have not heard of a holistic psychologist before. I would really like to hunt one of those down :)

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Hello Amethyst,

I feel that you have read my mind. My son has been having problems ever since he was 4. He was in a Christain school when he was 3 going on 4, (in their three year old program) (he has a late birthday of October). Through most of the program he got red stips (which are bad notes) for many different things. No one said anything about him having behavior programs. They siad said he was bored, so instead of sending him to Pre-school the next school year, I found a school that had a late cut off date, so the next year my son when to Kindergarden instead of pre-school (another Christian school). Academically, he was doing very well (above average), but his behavior started to get notice. It seems like every day I was called to even come to school or talk to my son on the phone. After a lot of stress, he made it through the program (again with mostly A's and some B's). He went to a new school for first grade (because the old school only went to K-5). Once at the new school, he seemed to be okay for a month, but than his behavior started getting the best of him. The teacher insisted on us getting him looked at. To us, she was quick to say this because her two sons and husband all have ADHD. I told her that he just needs more work. This was the type of school that did not adjust their curriculum for different learning styles (so sad). We ended up getting our son tested (8 hour test over two days). The doctor said he was gifted in some areas. He also said our son was at resist for ADHD because he had some symptoms of ADHD (at the time he was 6). He recommended that we change his school to a school (Catholic) that could adjust their curriculum. We did and it worked out well for the rest of the school year. The school closed down so we moved him to another Catholic school. He went there for second grade. After two weeks, they said he was too smart for the grade, they did not have any course material to support him. They wanted to move him up to third grade. They assured me that it would be okay, so I let them. He got through third grade with flying colors (mostly A's and some B+). I was very happy that we have found a place for our son. Now in the fourth grade and a different teacher (he is now 8 years old), He is getting into trouble for little things (playing with salf packets, playing in the bathrooms, getting out of line, playing in his seat, etc.... My son say they the kids pick on him and boss him around. He feels that he does not have friends there. The teacher said he is asking for attention by acting up. The teacher and VP of the school, are always calling, emailing me or sending home notes. I have spoken to my son and he said he just do not like this teacher (bad excuse). It got so bad, that the school insisted that I get him tested (again). I did and the school sent the doctor their assessment forms and at no surprise to me, the doctor said he has ADHD (impusive type) (based on what the teachers sent her). The doctor wants him to take Concerta. How can a doctor recommend meds for something that the teachers answered on an assessment form? The doctors take their word for it and next thing you know, your kid is taking meds. We just got the news yesterday. My next step is to get my son's health checked out (just incase he has any underlining condition that could come out if he should have to that the meds that the doctor wants to give him. I too, wish there was another way. I have been reading a book called: Parenting Chidren with ADHD by Vincent Monastra. So far, it is trying to open my eyes as to why I should medicate my child. It almost seems that if I do not medicate him (or find some form or natural medicine for him), he will have problems later on in school and life. I certainly do not want him to fall a victum of the streets because he just could not get orginized enough to deal with things. Right now, I feel cornered. I am looking for an alternative way to help my son with out meds.

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Hi Amethyst and everyone else, my son is 7 years old and was diagnosed with adhd last summer. He started taking medication immediately as we felt there were no other options, and we (and school) couldn't cope any more. The medication has been brilliant, no side effects whatsoever and it has made his life so much easier. He gets on better with his classmates and his reading and writing have improved as he can now sit still and concentrate.

The comment about "putting a band aid" on the problem really struck a chord with me as I hadn't really thought of it like that. But it is very true. When my son's medication wears off you soon know that the problem is still there, and it isn't getting any better. No other help has been offered to my son, and I think I will now start asking questions about what additional help he can access.

I came across this on Additude a few weeks ago which I think is quite interesting. May be worth trying, it seems very sensible although will probably take a great deal of time and effort, not to mention patience!

http://letsgetfittofocus.com/

Good luck to you all.

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We also have a 7yr old son diagnosed with ADHD last year. We felt the same way you do....we wanted to exhaust every behavior modification choice before starting medication. Two things I highly recommend are 1. Try And Make Me by Dr. Ray Levy and and Bill O'Hanlon (it really helped us understand our son and how to get through to him in a way he would understand), and 2. www.accountablekids.com...they have a system that really helped us take the anger out of daily activities...just go to the website and you can read all about it.

Your son may not have the same issues that our son does, so hopefully these suggestions might help in some ways even though they may have different symptoms.

And lastly, after working with him for over a year on behavior modification we realized that some of his reactions and emotions he just could not control. When he gets really defiant and angry he goes into what we call 'the fit zone' and there is no way for us to help him out....it just has to play itself out. Even though he rarely had them at school, we did realize that his combativeness was affecting his relationships at school. That was my breaking point. He was correcting his friends all the time, no one wanted to hang out with him. That just absolutely broke my heart. We had done everything we could to help him change certain behaviors, but it didn't work on the combative, defiant aspect of him. I couldn't stand the thought of us having a choice to help him with medication and not trying it for his sake. I have never been against medication, I just wanted to see if we could help him learn on his own how to deal with his ADHD. Anyway, a month ago we started on a low dose of Intuniv (a non stimulant blood pressure medication that has been found to help kids with ADHD). We have seen significant improvement. He has had several 'fits' and been able to regain control of himself. He is more rational and can take no for an answer. He will compromise without screaming and trying to get his own way no matter what. It has made a huge difference for him. He is now happy most of the time instead of grumpy. We have not seen any side effects at all so far.

I hope our journey helps give you a little insight as to what other parents are going through. And I hope that the book and Accountable Kids program can help you like it has helped us. My philosophy about our journey is that we just want what's best for our son...and with a lot of research and prayer we can navigate this twisty, winding road that is ADHD.

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Amethyst, I can totally relate to you. My son was diagnosed at age 4 1/2 but there was no way I was going to put him on meds. In the meantime, I read everythig I could get my hands on regarding ADHD. Meantime he was getting in trouble in Pre-K for hitting, throwing, pushing etc. I had him evaluated by the Intermediate Unit in my county, they said he met almost all the criteria for a diagnosis of ADHD. Long and short is that, he went to Kindergarden last year, in an Emotional Support Class, due to his behaivor and he was constantly getting into trouble, was suspended for hitting another student and couldn't write and was having a hard time with school in general. He would come home and struggle every day with homework. Finally one day as we are sitting down for homework, he started calling himself stupid and dumb and hitting himself in the head. At that moment I had to walk away and burst out crying and realized, I needed to do something, that my son was loosing himself due to his ADHD and I wasn't being fair to him. I made an appointment with a Psychiatrist she recommended medication, I was reluctant and read about every ADHD medication available then calle the manufacturers for even more info. By the middle of kindergarden I started him on meds, he started to improve with concentration and control. We had to change his medication since then and his current medication is working well. I did have to put him back in Kindergarden this year, but now he's in Regular Education Kindergarden, and is confident and has much more self control and has made friends. I also must mention that I sought outside help by finding a Child Psychologist through our insurance company. He has been very helpful and recommended a book to help with my son's behaivor which consisted of tantrums. The book was a Godsend, it worked really well. I was amazed that after 2 weeks my son started sleeping in his own bed and now he hardly ever has tantrums due to the method we incorporated from the book. The book is called "Beyond Time Out, from Chaos to Calm" By Beth A. Grossman. I highly recommend it. Best of luck to you and your family.

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we only found out that our son has ADHD last year, 4 months before he turned 15! so to help him with his last year in school, we had to put him on meds immediately. his handwriting improved for a start. we obviously are not expecting him to get full marks now, but even he noticed the difference. he says he can now concentrate more on what's going on in class. believe me, i want to break down and cry every time i realise how frustrated he must have been before. he was always withdrawn and quiet.......no wonder.....he was going to school everyday and not understanding half of what was being said.....for a whole 12 years. he's now more open than before and studying for his matsecs in may. he's only doing three subjects, and of course he might fail them all, but at least now he's got help. i truly respect those of you who do not want to start meds on their children. but dont, even for a second, think that it was easy for us to decide on this. then i read the book: UNDERSTANDING ADD ( i highly recommend it) and it had this question for parents: would you not treat a child who broke his legs by putting on a cast? would you let it heal by itself? or if the child has diabetes, would you not give him/her medication? its the same with ADHD.

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Hi there - my son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6, he is now 12. My husband was completely against the idea of giving him drugs (and I was all for it.) However I did quite a bit of research and we tried the natural way first. Omega 3 fish oil was one that I would definitely recommend. It helped him concentrate better and gave him a feeling of general well-being. It would have been nice to stay natural but in the end it turned out that other drugs were needed and we use a combination of both. He takes the prescribed pill once a day at home in the morning, so taking it at school or in front of friends isn't an issue. We haven't had any problems with side-effects, he can perform at school a lot better now and it wears off by 4pm. I don't believe it is a band-aid, as ADHD with be with him for life to some degree and can't be "cured". I see it as an aide, one that helps him and others around him get through the day. Weekends and school holidays are often drug-free or I give him a fish oil capsule, and in time I hope he'll be able to control himself enough to get by without the drug, but until then, we will use the drug to give him as normal a childhood as possible. Hope this is food for thought and good luck with whichever you decide.

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