Keaihamber - Hello... You sound so fustrated, and I totally understand. My son, age 7 , has ADHD. The lack of sleep issue really needs to be discussed with your doctor. It may be that your son is on too high of a dose of the concerta and it is keeping him awake. On the other hand, it doesn't sound like it is lasting long enough for him to stay focused on hw. Although, you may feel that he should be able to work independently, the reality is that he still needs you close by to ask questions, and keep him on track. Obviously, he needs to do the work himself, but if he is just alone, he won't stay focused. If your son is an only child, then it is always difficult for an ADHD child to get going to do something on their own. So we incorporated family fun time, 3 nights a week, and spend twenty minutes with our son, building, playing, coloring. As for reading, the recorder it a great idea for home.. Maybe not great for a school environment..but don't be afraid to ask the school if you think it will help him. If you are trying to get your son to do chores, a visual chore chart is best. Write down the chores he should do each day of the week, and post it to the refridgerator, or a place where he can see it. This way he can't say he isn't sure what is expected of him. Also, remember, you're the parent, and you can dictate which mess he cleans up and which he doesn't ... He needs to pitch in, and you hold firm to that. Visuals are great for children with ADHD. We have routine charts, timers, and chore charts. Its alot of work, but it helps him to develop the skills he is going to need as he gets older and hopeful to do it without medication someday. Maybe use a timer for homework time... Explain to him he gets xxx amount time to complete one subject... If he does so, that he gets 5 more minutes of TV that night. You sound like you give him alot of love, and he is in good hands. He just seems to need more structure and routine. Routine is very important. I have found that we have to do the same thing everyday. With my son, we have to lay his clothes out in the evening , so he can get up and gets dressed easily. I had to put a picutre of a toothbrush on his door , so he remembers to brush his teeth. It is alot of work. Many days, I would just like to ignore it. I don't want to have to tell him, take out your homework, sit down at this table, unpack your lunchbox... etc.. but, I have to. I don't understand how his mind works, and it makes me sad that I get upset with him sometimes, but we are all human. My husband and I argue somedays as well, but we have to stick together or our son will recognize that one is not on the same page, and will take advantage of that. Please write me if you need to vent.

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Your story sounds just like mine. I have a few things to suggest. The first thing is you need to learn about ADD/ADHD, there are so many books out there that have some good information in them(i.e. local library, audiobooks if you don't like to read). Learn how your son's brain is working and how he is feeling. Getting a good understanding of what is going on with him will not only make your days of handling the situation easier, but make his life a less emotional and give him the confidence that he can do it. And there for he will be more wanting to try, kids with this issue including my 9 year old boy, the more frustrated they get the more it gets harder for them to "redirect" or "focus" to get what they truely know they are to be doing. There is also books for him to read, to help him understand what is going on with him, after I had several short discussions with my son, I actually noticed a huge difference in our difficulties. Meaning he understands better of what is going on and he knows that mom and dad understands what is going. We do what we can to make the ADHD a positive approach on our son's live instead of a disability. After learning what it is, then you will understand the techniques to control the outburst or just get them to do something. Routine and Consistancy is sooooo important. And the visual reminders and charts are very helpful. But along with that comes the triggers to the problem. There are so many things that can contribute to ADHD. Before I say to much more, remember that each kid is different, but here is what I have done and I am proud to say my son is off "prescription" meds and takes all natural supplements now. My journey to a calmer life started the beginning of last summer, I started reading books, talking to my son about what I was doing and learning. Then I removed all artificial everything from his diet or let me say if it could be removed or a different brand was bought that is what I did. If the situation wasn't in favor of no artificial, then I adjusted somewhere else so he gets as little as possible, especially of red and blue colors. I even take my son hot lunches when the schools menu isn't to my standards and lucky for me able to sit with him at lunch and see that he eats. That is one of the huge problems is that the schools either don't aways have the greatest menu's or they don't bother seeing that these kids actually eat what is on their trays. A high protein diet is very good for ADHD. So another wards I have made a lot of changes in how my kids eat, if I can give them food that doesn't have preservatives and artificial I don't. But I also don't spend all my money at the all natural grocery stores, I read the labels. As far as medications, the bad news is he takes a handful of pills a day, but after slowly changing over to all natural and adding one at a time, he sees the difference and will tell you he would rather be on the natural pills then the prescription. But before I took him off the prescription(we are month 5 of all natural) I started him on GABA or Gamma-aminobutyric acid, he takes this right after he gets home and by 8 or 8:30 he is ready for bed. And we had the same issues with sleep, that is why i wanted to take him off. Not getting sleep makes anyone have trouble focasing, not fair to someone with ADHD who already has to work hard at focasing. So back to what he currently takes. He takes a no artificial multi gummy, Complete EFA's(this is all your omega's3-6-9, very important with high enough dose), 5-HTP, additional Magnesium and the main one is Attend(made by VAXA). There is several other ones that are to help, but we have found this combo and it is working for us here at home and at school. I have been very adamit to the teachers this is what we want and they have worked with me. They have made some of the accommidations available to him that he would have got on the 504 plan at school. We are in your same vote even though there is laws and programs to protect and help kids like this, because he has good grades they don't want to help. But the teachers have been happy to do what they can, you just have to sit them down and defend what you believe in. If you have a Vitamin Shoppe in your area, they were able to help out alot with the supplements. I will also tell you that these same supplements my husband takes because while reading on ADHD we discovered that my husband is ADHD as well and they are helping him. And there is one more thing that I have done and that is I have got involved with a company the sells a line of things, that are toxin free. So I have gotten rid of all my cleaning products from the store and now only use Melaleuca products. Most of the cleaning agents from your body soap and shampoos to your household cleaning stuff are so full of toxins, that are effecting your whole family. Formaldehyde is in a lot of that stuff and is very bad for ADHD. Well I hope this gives you some ideas, hope and things to try. Good Luck, everyone dealing with ADHD is in my prayers and may god continue to give you strength and patience.

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I think we have a set of separated twins. My son is ten. He sleep constantly until he was 5 months old. He even slept all night the night he came home from the hospital, but at 5 months that changed. He figured out he could move that little body and has not stopped since. One night last week I got out of bed at 1:30 and checked on him. He was sitting in the floor playing legos. He of course will not get up in the am. I teach at his school and have to be at school fairly early everyday and everyday I am late. It takes him an hour and a half to eat breakfast and get dressed. Thats only if I follow him around nagging him every five minutes. I had a meltdown this morning because yet again I was late. I treated him badly and should nt have. I have punished, rewarded I just dont know what to do. He is medicated during the day, (Adderall XR) He does well in school, well above average. An amazing child. I just don't know what to do.

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We have had the same issues when it comes to meds and sleeping. Our son cannot take his last dose past noon if we want him to go to bed at a reasonable time. We also have used melatonin which is a natural herb that enhances relaxation - that's the best way to put it - it is not a sleeping agent at all. BUT - we do not allow video games, tv, computer after a certain time in the evening. I do have to say that there are nights when he cannot sleep so we allow him to quietly play in his room, draw, read, etc and he seems to respond to that. ADHD kids cannot shut their brains down - they are just moving constantly and sometimes sleep is difficult - they are just running all of the time. BUT when sleep does come they are able to relax. Try backing up the last dose of meds - your child might not be able to take their meds at 2-3 in the afternoon - they might not be able to tolerate such a late dose.

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he takes an extended release concerta, so he gets one dose at 7:30 am.

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Hello all, I'm sorry I haven't taken the time to read each of your messages in total, but what I have read so far has been great! My 9 1/2 year old daughter struggles to sleep too. (Not sure this is similar, but thought I would pass it on). It's like she holds onto everything from the day and then processes it before she goes to sleep, but can't turn it off. She will try to discuss all sorts of things with me before bed and we have a time limit on that........we rarely are finished beforehand. Since she is starting to really write more and more, I have encouraged her to write in a diary/journal (sometimes she draws pictures) to tell me all that is going on in her head and then when we have time we can sit down and discuss it. That way she doesn't have to work so hard to remember everything, it's on paper and won't disappear, and then we can discuss it when we both have more time.

It looks like others have mentioned it. About him taking too much time to accomplish things. Try a timer. "you have x minutes to complete _ task. If you don't by that time, this is the consequence." By doing so, the bad guy is the timer, not you. And make sure if you threaten, you follow through. That has always been the hard part for me. :o) But when you do, they start understanding and it gets easier. Remember it will get harder before it gets easier.

Again, mentioned, but I added a bit more detail. For repetitive tasks, such as cleaning up a room or standard chores, have a picture or list of what that includes. For example, if his room was clean, what would it look like? It would not have anything on the floor, the dirty laundry would be in the basket, clean clothes put away, bed made and neat, etc. My mom just used to hand me a 3x5 card (again, the card is the bad guy, not you. have 4 different ones and let him chose?) with a list of what needed to happen for the bathroom to be clean: mirrors clean, bathtub scrubbed, counters cleaned, garbage out, etc. She did it with me the first few times to make sure I knew what it meant. I started a chore/allowance routine with my kids, 7 1/2 and 91/2, both ADD/ADHD. I posted a "chose 2 of the following (every time)" and "I insist you must do x and y every time" list on the refrigerator. If they complete it, they get their allowance, if not, they don't get it. Time limit?.............by the end of the weekend, Sunday night before bed.

Hope that helps you or others. I'm always looking for good ideas. Good luck to you all. :o)

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I see my son in all the posts that were written. He is ADD/ODD. He only woke up once a night as an infant, but once he was noved to a regular bed, it was hard for him to fall asleep by himself. Since then, he has always had trouble falling asleep. Once he is asloop, he sleeps. The problem is then getting him up in the morning. He just will not want to wake up. He says he is tired. Mornings are stressful and so are the evenings, trying to get him to go to sleep. We are at our wits end.

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I, too, had a son with the same sleep ordeal. I say "had" because the heavenly "cure" was melatonin 3mg, one hour before bedtime! My ADHD husband suggested it since he swears by it. I asked my neurologist first and melatonin with no other herbal ingredients was approved. It is a naturally occuring hormone in the body, so I feel good about giving it to my son. Now it's a routine: take melatonin, take a warm shower, get in bed and settle down with a TV program, and Zzzzzzz.

Now mommy gets more sleep, too!

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Its 1am he is exausted and not sleeping. He has a psychiatrist appointment coming up. I'm worried they will put him on more medication, but maybe it would be good for him to see a specialist, other than a pedeatrician (spelling).

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Asked him to take a shower and it took him 1 1/2 hours to do it. It took 5 times of me telling him, my husband told him twice. I'm frustrated. Consequences dont seem to matter. If I take away the tv and games it just doesn't seem to get him to listen the next time. He messed around in the bathroom for 1/2 hour before turning on the water even tonight. I just don't think that concerta is working well enough, and it runs out and he is like another kid. I worry what about when he's a little older and goes out with his friends, and he his symptoms are still not controlled.

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We had this problem practically from the time my son was born. We did keep him on a schedule but did NOT force him to sleep. Instead, we put him in his room at a set bedtime and allowed him to listen to quiet music or read in bed (approved books, nothing too scary or anything) until he got sleepy. Sometimes he would spend time reading extra minutes in a required book for school.

If it is any help, our son is now in graduate school and is learning how to manage his time. Sleep is still an issue but sports have helped. I tried to post this but it didn't go through before because I don't know how to do links. You may need to copy and paste but this person's experience mirrored ours: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1135276/best_sports_for_kids_with_add_and_adhd.html

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ADD and ADHD kids may sleep better if participating in sports. However, it can be tricky to find a good match. We are all in this together!

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My son who is 12 yrs old has been on CLONIDINE HCL 0.2 MG . and falls asleep about an hour after taking it. He has always had problems falling asleep and the Clonidine works great and he usually stays asleep all night.

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My daughter is 10 and has a diagnosis of ADHD since she was in the 2nd grade. We have had alot of the same issues that you are talking about and I am always learning different stratagies to deal with her problems.

The first thing that I want to say is how very imprtant sleep in to these children and their cognitive functioning. My daughter was awake to the wee hours of the morning for the longest time and her grades suffered because she was so tired that she was shutting down at school and at home. We spent hours on home work and it was a fight and the work may have gotten done but she didn't retain or understand half of it...math especially. So here are some thigns that we did.

We had her changed to inclusion classes where she had more one on one help in class. We agreed on homework times of 5:30, 6:30 and 7:30. She needed it broken up. She loved playing a video games online or playong with a little girl up the street and so I used this to help her "get started". She owuld have down time from 3:30 until 5:25...at 5:25 I gave her a 5minute warning that she need to wrap up what she was doing and start thinking baout homework. At 5:30 she would come up and pick what subject she wanted to work on and she would work on it until it was done. If she got done in 20 minutes then she had a 40 minute break until 6:30 when we would meet again to do homework. If she goofed off or played around then she had less "fun time" between assignments. I was always close by doing somehting in case she needed help and if there was an exceptionally long writing assignement we would break it up in to 2 sessions or I would write for her and make a note to the teacher. If she finished quickly then I would praise her with cheers and high 5's and she would laugh....yes laugh and smile at homework!! I would look over the work from time to time to make sure that she was doing it correctly and if not I would help her understand what she did wrong and how to help her. This has worked exceptionally well for us because she had a day in this system and the 5 minute warning is crucial...she has to ahve time to switchg gears.

As far as sleep I didn't want to give her a sleeping medication so I looked into natural solutions and discovered Melatonin. I discussed tis with her Doctor and did a lot of research and felt very comfortable with it becasue it is what your body produces naturally to go to sleep. I will give her a 3mg tablet at 9pm and by 9:30 she is sound asleep and wakes up well rested in the morning...the difference in her has been remarkable...she is more pleasant, alert and gets herself dressed and ready with little prompting.

As far as the school goes they cannot deny you testing or accomodations simply because they have passing grades. Tjis is illiegal. Under article 7 of the IDEA a ADHD child may qualify for special education serives under the OHI which is other health impairment and the child does not need to be failing or have been held back a grade....this is what the schools tell you hoping that you will go away. If your child had a diagnosis of AHDH then they cannpot deny your request for testing. If they do ask for the denial in writing and I bet they won't write it. If they do then you ask for testing to be done privately at the schools expense...the law requires that they test a child with suspeceted learning diabiliteis and AHDH is listed under OHI. ANd even if he does not qualify for an IEP he will at least qualify for a 504 and you can get accomodations under the 504 that will hep your child in school.

Hope this helps! And remember School is not life, Life is school Vicki

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mamaholme, my son's the same way. He had a ton of sleep issues, it would take hours to put him to sleep, he'd wake 3 or 4 times a night, and be up for the day around 5AM. After discussing it with his pediatrician (me, dead on my feet from him and a nursing infant at the time), she suggested he get melatonin about 1/2 hour before bed. We experimented with the dosage, discussing each step with the doc, and discovered that 2mg of melatonin, delivered about 6:30-7, was the perfect remedy. He still wakes at 5, but at least now he sleeps all night.

Talk to your son's medical doctor about his sleep, give her/him details of what's going on. Hopefully your child's doc can help you like I was helped.

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Hi - i'm new to this forum, and was just reading posts (should be working instead!). I was amazed to come across your shower post, as my 10 year old son and I had a blowout/meltdown just last night about a shower! I totally know what you mean about spending 1/2 hour before he even turns on the water. It took more than an hour of asking, talking, crying, etc. and in the end he never even ended up showering! It is so frustrating and I am at my wit's end. I realize I "gave up", but we needed the bathroom for my daughter to take her shower and get to bed. I was done and exhausted, and I knew that in his condition nothing i said or did was going to be effective. Anyway, I've just read the Explosive child, by Ross Greene, which introduces this whole new approach to parenting children like ours - no punishments (they just don't work), no authoritarian parenting (it's true - my son seems to "shut down" when i or my husband starts demanding things). I believe it all but am having a very hard time doing it - the other way is ingrained in me, I guess. (I'm too high strung, I think, to be ok with it taking 20 minutes to put on shoes!) As far as medication goes, we just started Intunive in conjunction with his ADHD medication - it's for ODD. It seems to make him less angry and defiant, but some days (aka last night) it just doesn't seem to make a difference. As far as sleeping, we had your problem, but like someone in an earlier post i read, my son now takes 3 mg of melatonin and there are no more problems with that. It's all natural so don't worry about it becoming "one more med" - perfectly safe and ok. Our dr. says sleep problems are common w/ adhd kids. Good luck, and let's keep this conversation going!

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I would also suggest trying the Metetonin first. Interestingly, I have read that some kids actually do better sleeping if they have a stimulant before betime. It helps to quiet their body and they can sleep on it. For some children, this will work. It may be worth a try to give him a short acting stimulent before bedtime if the Meletonin doesn't help.

With the other issues, you may want to try a positive point system chart. For each day list 5 wanted behaviors: For example; Practice Guiter, Take a shower in less than 10 minutes (use a timer that he can see while he showers)Complete homework by 7pm, clean room, brush teeth, go and take space when you need it or when we, the parent say you need it, etc.

Choose only 3-4 behaviors to start so he can remember what is expected more easily.

List it all on a chart and give him a point for each thing he does each day. On saturday, it's payday and he can spend his points ( or save them for a bigger purchase). Make a menu with him of what kinds of things he wants to buy. (Not just material things, but also things like fishing with dad, special game with mom, friends over after school, Electric Scooter (that's 300 points!), etc.

As for the homework, I remember hearing Dr. Russell Barkley say that when kids have ADHD, the are developmentally behind in many aspects. They do require our help for things and we, as parents shouldn't feel that by helping them, we are enabling them. He had found that we should help and when they are able to do something on their own (and he says that time WILL come!) the children will tell the parents they can do it on their own.

So for homeowrk, you could sit with him if he needs that. Get a book you are reading and bring it to where he's doing his homework and be there with him when he works. You can give gentle reminders to stay on task or like others suggested, you may want to use a timer to help him stay focused on what he's doing...say, set the timer for 15 minutes to do this math and then reset the timer for another 10 minutes to write spelling words, etc.

With my 8 year old, when he does reports, I let him dictate the rough draft to me and I write it (in his words) and then he'll copy that for his final draft.) I am helping him. He needs that help and after hearing Dr. Barkley, I no longer feel that I am enabling him to be helpless by doing that.

Hope something I've suggested helps. It's not easy being to mom to an ADHD child.

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Hello. My daughter is 10 years old and was diagnosed ADHD at 7. Within the last year, she has been diagnosed with Anxiety, which is not a surprise as I am ADHD with Anxiety. I am becoming concerned re the medication (number and dosage) and believe that we will likely change from a stimulant (concerta). I noticed that you mentioned treatments from vaxa.com. Would appreciate your (and anyone else's) feedback. I am not familar with the suppliments or website and am always very cautious about non-FDA regulated supplements. Do you know of any testing/ studies that are available? My daughter also suffers from mild asthma, so that is a concern, as well. Thanks.

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jadeb said: Your story sounds just like mine. I have a few things to suggest. The first thing is you need to learn about ADD/ADHD, there are so many books out there that have some good information in them(i.e. local library, audiobooks if you don't like to read). Learn how your son's brain is working and how he is feeling. Getting a good understanding of what is going on with him will not only make your days of handling the situation easier, but make his life a less emotional and give him the confidence that he can do it. And there for he will be more wanting to try, kids with this issue including my 9 year old boy, the more frustrated they get the more it gets harder for them to "redirect" or "focus" to get what they truely know they are to be doing. There is also books for him to read, to help him understand what is going on with him, after I had several short discussions with my son, I actually noticed a huge difference in our difficulties. Meaning he understands better of what is going on and he knows that mom and dad understands what is going. We do what we can to make the ADHD a positive approach on our son's live instead of a disability. After learning what it is, then you will understand the techniques to control the outburst or just get them to do something. Routine and Consistancy is sooooo important. And the visual reminders and charts are very helpful. But along with that comes the triggers to the problem. There are so many things that can contribute to ADHD. Before I say to much more, remember that each kid is different, but here is what I have done and I am proud to say my son is off "prescription" meds and takes all natural supplements now. My journey to a calmer life started the beginning of last summer, I started reading books, talking to my son about what I was doing and learning. Then I removed all artificial everything from his diet or let me say if it could be removed or a different brand was bought that is what I did. If the situation wasn't in favor of no artificial, then I adjusted somewhere else so he gets as little as possible, especially of red and blue colors. I even take my son hot lunches when the schools menu isn't to my standards and lucky for me able to sit with him at lunch and see that he eats. That is one of the huge problems is that the schools either don't aways have the greatest menu's or they don't bother seeing that these kids actually eat what is on their trays. A high protein diet is very good for ADHD. So another wards I have made a lot of changes in how my kids eat, if I can give them food that doesn't have preservatives and artificial I don't. But I also don't spend all my money at the all natural grocery stores, I read the labels. As far as medications, the bad news is he takes a handful of pills a day, but after slowly changing over to all natural and adding one at a time, he sees the difference and will tell you he would rather be on the natural pills then the prescription. But before I took him off the prescription(we are month 5 of all natural) I started him on GABA or Gamma-aminobutyric acid, he takes this right after he gets home and by 8 or 8:30 he is ready for bed. And we had the same issues with sleep, that is why i wanted to take him off. Not getting sleep makes anyone have trouble focasing, not fair to someone with ADHD who already has to work hard at focasing. So back to what he currently takes. He takes a no artificial multi gummy, Complete EFA's(this is all your omega's3-6-9, very important with high enough dose), 5-HTP, additional Magnesium and the main one is Attend(made by VAXA). There is several other ones that are to help, but we have found this combo and it is working for us here at home and at school. I have been very adamit to the teachers this is what we want and they have worked with me. They have made some of the accommidations available to him that he would have got on the 504 plan at school. We are in your same vote even though there is laws and programs to protect and help kids like this, because he has good grades they don't want to help. But the teachers have been happy to do what they can, you just have to sit them down and defend what you believe in. If you have a Vitamin Shoppe in your area, they were able to help out alot with the supplements. I will also tell you that these same supplements my husband takes because while reading on ADHD we discovered that my husband is ADHD as well and they are helping him. And there is one more thing that I have done and that is I have got involved with a company the sells a line of things, that are toxin free. So I have gotten rid of all my cleaning products from the store and now only use Melaleuca products. Most of the cleaning agents from your body soap and shampoos to your household cleaning stuff are so full of toxins, that are effecting your whole family. Formaldehyde is in a lot of that stuff and is very bad for ADHD. Well I hope this gives you some ideas, hope and things to try. Good Luck, everyone dealing with ADHD is in my prayers and may god continue to give you strength and patience.

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We treated my ADD son completely naturally. The reason they don't sleep well is that their adrenal and thyroid glands are way overactive. That's the biggest reason they are ADD/HD. Even when they sleep, it really isn't beneficial sleep. I imagine your child wakes up tired just like mine used to.

The solution for sleeping is a high quality calcium 500 mgs./ magnesium 250 mgs./ Zinc 15 mgs. mineral supplement commonly called Cal/Mag/Zinc. Two pills of these one hour before bed time will slow them down to sleep. If they are too groggy in the morning, cut it back to one pill.

We had tremendous success with the natural vitamin/supplement and diet program.

I'd be interested to hear other parents stories of natural treatment programs. We treated my son completely from the body and brain chemistry side with no behavior modification. He did that himself once his body chemistry and diet were corrected.

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I started giving my ADHD 10 yr oldson 2 tablets Melatonin about 6 weeks ago. Every time, he is asleep within 30 minutes. His doctor said totally ok, no long term affects. Hope this might help.

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