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Many possibilities
Sorry for this "late reply" to your post. I found it interesting and the ADDITUDE posts have been helpful for me, and I want to be helpful if I can.
I have ADHD and was diagnosed as a 53 year old (I'm 55 now). I had been reading about how ADHD can run in families and made an appointment with my sons doctor (who was treating him for ADHD) to have myself "checked out" for ADHD. My son was diagnosed as a 12 year old (he's 18 now). Both he & I take Adderall & Remeron (as a sleep aid). As you probably know Remeron is an anti-depressant for moderate to severe depression, but when given in small doses (7.5mg for my son, 15mg for me), it can function as a helpful (an inexpensive) sleep aid, while having no "antidepressent" effects. Neither my son or me have trouble falling asleep, but without Remeron we both found we generally wake up in the middle of the night and have trouble going back to sleep, which our doctor said wasn't unusual for some folks taking Adderall.
My son (now 18 years old) or I both feel we are not bothered by side effects of the Adderall/Remeron. He & I occasionally discuss these things (and much more) and I'm reasonably confident that the "meds" are likely not the problem with your husbands behaviors. I too, encourage your husband to discuss these things with his doctor, as another "responder" has mentioned. The reason I don't think your husbands problems are the "meds" is this; I've not seen any behavior changes in my son as far as short temper, agitation, etc. but I noticed that some time back I seemed to have problems with my own temper, anxiety level, miscommunications with my wife, and so on. I also noticed and can recall that when I had the most problem with my "short temper, aigitation, forgetfulness, miscommunication, etc." was when I was going through stressful (more than normal) periods. My wife and I both "noticed" these things, but had different opinions about why I was "short tempered, etc.". My wife (4 years younger than me) had started the process of menopause and was having similar difficulties with her temper, forgetfulness, etc. Things got so "heated" that we went to a counselor for a few months to "sort things out".
To "make a long story short", the counselor said that a variety of stresses in peoples lives can cause or facilitate all the "symptoms" my wife and I had. He also pointed out some stressors that we overlooked, and helped us understand how additional stressors can and do occur in a couples life that fuel miscommunication, short fuses, etc. (a new job, a new diagnosis or medication, and things of similar nature are "huge" stressors).
I suggest you encourage your husband in a caring way, to mention what he's going through to his doctor. If you both feel that things aren't getting better, consider counseling. It can be really helpful to have a counselor help sort things out. And a counselor can be objective about how "stresses" impact people, in ways that friends or family can NOT be objective.
I hope things get better for you and your husband.
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