hello thk, i'm fairly new to all this ADD because my son was only diagnosed with it last year in june. he turned 15 in october, so now he's on medication so that it might help him in his last months at school. most of the things you said about your daughter do seem like its adhd, like not making eye contact when being given instructions and how she can only be with real close friends but not a lot of them. it makes them feel really frustrated. when you said she can spend hours drawing, its because it is something that she enjoys doing. my son can sit down and write a five page story that he's inventing, but he has trouble sitting down to do a composition that's given as homework! do not hesitate to have her diagnosed, if it is adhd. if we found out sooner about our son, we would have helped him earlier, no wonder he was so frustrated at school.......he was not understanding half of what was going on!! hope you find a solution for your daughter soon.

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I would say that your daughter sounds quite a bit like mine who has Asperger's autism. Hallmarks of this are not being able to make eye contact, being self absorbed (my way or the highway), social awkwardness with peers and over reaction(even tantrums) to changes in routine or disappointments..

My daughter is very intelligent and even gifted insome areas, so people find it difficult to believe that she is Autistic. They prefer to believe that she is a spoiled indulged child and I am a bad parent.

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I'm also no expert, and I read the replies to your post and they sounded like they need to be looked into (asperger's).........but......some of the symptoms your daughter is showing hit home with me because I experienced them all the way from elementary school until college. Actually I used to not look people in the eyes either. I never knew it-was completely unaware until my music teacher told me during my junior year of high school. I must have been telling her that someone told me I had bad eye-contact. she said something to the effect of, "oh well, that's just the way you are kara" and I was thinking is it really that noticeable?? I made it a point to do a better job after that, but i went all through grade school and high school with that particular bad habit of never really looking at somebody when they talked to me. when I was younger I would be able to deal with other kids 1:1, but when it was a group, I didn't know how to react. Mostly I got nervous when there was silence at all. Or got nervous that the other kids wouldn't like me (even in high school and college!) so I would either start to tell them embarrassing stories about myself so I could entertain them (and in my mind, get them to like me). Or I would act obnoxious, or I would just go crazy. Like completely HYPER, which completely scared other people off. For a short time in elementary school I started withdrawing from others altogether. this phase didn't last long for me because I'm an only child so I've always needed attention. Some of my issues with social situations may be more related to being an only child than being ADHD. all I know is that social situations still make me nervous to this day. I always want people to like me and I think to any ADHD child they need to be validated. I believe that our parents/teachers/other peers/family members have a big impact on how we view ourselves. I got alot of negative feeback for being the hyper little girl I was and I was reprimanded and scolded quite frequently by everyone (except my father, who was my only parent raising me). My dad pretty much just said that all people are different and he said people need to accept you for being who you are. I had pretty low self-esteem at times because of being different with ADHD. It also manifests into the friendships and romantic relationships of the future, depending on to what degree of ADHD your daughter has, or what other related condition it might be. Acceptance, support, guidance to help her figure out the best ways of dealing with her trouble areas - these are the best ways. since you're at this site, you are obviously a parent willing to work to help her. honestly I feel like many things an ADHD child learns differently, maybe on their own time schedule, but as they grow and mature - it will get better. I can tell you that college is an ADHD person's nightmare. It's been really difficult, but I'm graduating in 2 weeks. I wish I would have found this website and its resources sooner. Well there's my 2 cents worth.

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My daughter's in 7th grade now, and I still don't have a real answer for this. I told the school psychologist, point blank, she could just flip a coin. I really don't care if it's "officially' social issues as a result of AD/HD or aspergers (hope I'm spelling it right) with AD/HD on the side. Either way, I have a well-meaning, but socially awkward daughter. That's just her. When she makes a friend, she keeps them, indefinitely. When she's new to a situation, she can quickly become an easy target. I really thing any child psychologist could probably argue either one in a lot of cases. I just know that the practical help that's for AD/HD helps a lot. I don't think most doctors or educators have really gained enough info in regards to girls with these issues, vs boys, to really know one way or another when it's aspergers or ad/hd in every case. I get a headache just thinking about it, so I use advice from both camps where it's relevant.

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