Many kids with ADHD and learning disabilities suffer from poor self-esteem. And we all know that teenage years are especially difficult.

These articles might give you some ideas:

How to Boost Your Child's Self Esteem

Fostering Creativity and Confidence in Your ADHD Child

You might want to try this exercise to help build confidence in ADHD children.

I hope this helps, Dena

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Ah! Those are the words I was looking for: Building Confidence and Self Esteem.

I knew there were better terms than “negativity” to express what we are experiencing.

Thank you! (for the links too!) Jim

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Hi! I have a 7-yr-old who's self-esteem is sadly low due to his school failures, and his living in the shadow of a gifted older brother. This semester I finally got him into special ed and on meds, both of which are helping. But before that, I was desparate to find something he could do well at that his brother doesn't do. As he was a water baby, I put him on the community swim team last summer. He came in dead last in each race, mainly because he would lose focus 1/2way across the pool, but he's too inattentive to know that! He loved swimming, and the attention he got from teammates. We praised his efforts a lot also. It was a great experience and esteem booster for him. He is also excelling at snow skiing, and feeling proud about that.

In addition to finding something my child could be good at, I take him to an acupuncturist for NET (neuro-emotional technique) treatments. They don't involve needles. NET helps my son "get over" bad experiences quickly, so he doesn't feel angry all the time. It works a whole lot better and faster than psychotherapy. My older son will cooperate with NET treatments, whereas he wouldn't talk to his psychologist either.

All kids want more material things than they have. You should point your son away from building his esteem on how many or what type of possessions he has. You'll feel blue in the face, but keep reminding your son that it is the type of person he is-his character-that will determine his life's sucess.

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Hi Jim... Don't give up.... My son is now 18 (still grumpy and moody), but doing ok... While watching TV, I would make a point of putting on America's Funniest Videos... within minutes, my sulking son would be laughing... On the drive to school in the morning, there's a radio station which plays a joke of the day or a "Men from Maine funny story/joke...." this would get him chuckling and smiling and by the time I dropped him off at school door, he was in a good mood. So use humor.... they're not aware of what you're doing....

As far as being sensitive, my son, too is oversensitive and overreacts to even the littlest slight... That goes with the ADD. As he's gotten older, that's gotten better.... Maturity-wise, I was told that these kids are 2 years behind... I totally found that to be true of my son.... Even now, at 18... I see some immaturity, but truly... this last year, he's come leaps and bounds... so, I guess 18 is the magic number so just hang in there a few more years... good luck

kim

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Thanks Kim. I haven’t given up but it can be distressing at times when he is in a low moment. Especially when he is upset from taking something said literally and/or personally that most kids would blow off and not think twice about.

I find that just talking to him (especially before bed or in the car) helps quite a bit. Lately he’s even acknowledged his negativity and his over-reaction to stuff. It’s comforting to see maturity doing its thing. I believe I’m beginning to see a maturity and clearer/improved self-awareness that helps him “modulate” better and slowly make the negativity to start going away.

Jim

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(the forums edit function doesn't seem to be working... sorry if this creates a double post)

Also, allowing him to pursue things that he's good at does provide a solid rebuttal for when he's trash talking himself. He does real well in sports and is now taken a serious interest in playing the guitar. I spoke to a coworker about this who told me he had an extra one at home we could borrow that is perfect for a beginner. You should have seen my son's face when he came off the bus and walked into my office with this beautiful electric guitar sitting there for him. Priceless.

He took it home and played with it all night. He asked to keep it in his room and, of course, I said sure. I jokingly asked if he was going to sleep with it tonight and he just smiled. When I went in his room to put him to bed he was laying there strumming it. I told him that's enough for one day Mr. Van Halen. To which he said "who's that?". "Oh some old rocker guys,...(groan)... never mind,... time for bed kiddo..."

Happy kid, happy kid, happy kid,...

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